After sitting down and ordering a drink (a beer because I felt that would be more of a college level thing than wine which is more of an ‘adult’ choice), I decided to put aside the first few details of the night that had bothered me. I wasn’t expecting to be a totally awesome night, but at least one that I wouldn’t later regret.
This guy and I started a conversation and the most obvious topic for me to discuss was his experience with the dating site.
“I’m still trying to figure out why you got interested in me,” said I. “I’m sure there’s other women aiming to have a career like yours in what you’re studying. The school is pretty large overall, so the options are endless.”
“True, but, I’ve always tried to experience many things. I’ve never done only one thing throughout my life,” answered he. “For example, I did my undergrad in journalism and after graduation, I traveled abroad to get exposed to new people and cultures. I wanted to do that before getting totally dedicated to medicine.
Yes, there are girls who want the same goals as me, but they either want a commitment early on or don’t want to get involved at all. Right now I want neither. I’m just experiencing things, that’s all.”
When I heard the part about his travels abroad after college made me feel sad. I miss my college days, but I never had the money to travel for Spring Break or anywhere else after school.
I never really knew what I wanted to do during my first few years after graduating. Sometimes I feel I wasted those years, until deciding to do a Master’s degree. I had this great need to challenge myself and aspire to make something better of my life.
A few years later, and during my first job (in the field I was actually studying), it was when I met my ‘x’.
I know you will probably think, “and the rest is history”. It sure was, but when I look back, I remember achieving positive things, but tangled in-between with these bad memories.
Getting married was definitely a milestone, but the following years weren’t so great. The relationship was difficult and some situations were unbearable to sustain, and my career wasn’t that great either.
I did manage to graduate and achieve other personal things, which I make an effort to keep present for my positive wellbeing.
Then came the divorce and other years of rebuilding, of not knowing how I was going to survive on my own, of was I ever going to find another love in my life.
And there I was, sitting with guy number (what?) that I met online, wondering one thing: what number is he, or life in general, going to pull on me now?