Jeffrey eventually did contact me again. Because of what I was going through, I honestly don’t recall if I tried calling him first (just for the sake of saying ‘hello’) (yes, honestly), or how much time elapsed between the ‘I don’t want to talk about it’ and this one.

Yeah, I did care to know how he was. His situation did not sounded very good, meaning like being handled well, or that there was any possibility of improvement or resolution in staying in that relationship.

It was a weekend night and I had no plans. I was hoping that someone would feel sorry for me and let me hang around their place when Jeff called.

“Hey, what are you up to?” asked he.

“Nothing; was on my way to my girlfriend’s (not really). Why?”

“I thought about me going over to your place and talk.”

“Oh? And where is your ‘other half’?” (Or whatever else you consider her to be.)

“She’s out of town.” (Translation: this guy wants to behave badly…)

“And you have nothing to do, like me. Well, at least we have something in common during this night.”

We kept chatting while I analyzed the situation. He’s in a relationship with another person, who happens to be out of town, and he wants to come over and just talk?

So what is this cougar going to do?

The way I was looking at it, he’s the one with the complicated situation. Not to take away from the fact that mine was equally, or perhaps, worse, than his.

But my ex was not coming back, that was for sure. So although I was still legally bound to someone else, I was ‘free’ to do whatever I wanted. Or could I?

So, what’s it going to be?

“No problem, come on over.”

After that phone call that almost ended in disastrous manner, I wasn’t thinking much about Jeffrey. The incident came at a really bad time for me.

Because of what I was going through, my mind and emotions were not coordinated as they should have.

I was very self-conscious of all I was saying and doing. But, really, who cared? I was completely alone and the result of what had happened was due to my newfound inexperience of dating.

On the other hand, what if this cougar actually had a positive effect on this guy? (What?) Yes, let’s think this over.

I did touch a nerve on him, which could eventually make him make a decision on his situation. There’s two options for him: one, leave things as they were (or do nothing about it); two, decided to end the relationship and restart his life again.

Hmm, wonder if I’ll get an answer for that. And that will only occur if he comes again into the picture.

What? You think I should be looking for him? Honestly, right now, this is the least of my concerns.

I called Jeffrey’s number and, to my surprise, he answered almost immediately. Not that much time had elapsed between his call and mine, so it was expected that he would recognize my number.

“Hey, Jeff, how are you? So nice of you to call.”

“Yeah, like I said, I was on your ‘hood, on business actually, and remembered you lived here, so I decided to call.”

“Oh, and what kind of work do you do that takes you into the nighttime?”

“I have my own line of men’s clothes.”

“Wow, you’re a designer!”

“I’m trying to. For now I’m concentrated on custom-made shirts designed with different styles.”

“Sounds to me that you’re well on your way. Would love to see your work.”

“Well, I’m working on my website, so hopefully you should be able to do so soon.”

I was curious to get ‘the real deal’ on his marital status so I finally asked him about it.

“So, hmm, what’s going on with you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Your friend at the bar said you were in a ‘complicated relationship,’ which means?”

“I’m married.”

“Whoa! But you’re so young. How long have you been?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

Jeff’s tone of voice quickly shifted from nice to somewhat upset. I had touched a nerve that obviously hurt very badly.

“Listen, I don’t know the details of your relationship. But I will say this: I invested 15 years of my life to one guy who, at the end of the day, left me because ‘he was unhappy.’

If the two of you are having problems, but still want to make it work, by all means go for it. I’m going through a divorce and it’s totally miserable.

But if things are so bad, it’s better to end it, and not let 15 years go by to restart your life. Do it while you’re still young.”

I was lecturing this guy and felt like crap. I felt old and that my life was headed towards a dead end.

Jeffrey was still sounding bad over the phone so the only remaining thing to say to him was to offer myself as a ‘sympathetic ear’ wherever he needed to talk to someone.

Now listen to myself! My husband dumped me, I’m fresh into a divorce process and I’m giving relationship advice? Who am I kidding? (Myself.)

The conversation ended in a sort of sour note and I was more concentrated on how depressed and lousy I felt than of wondering if any communication between Jeffrey and me had any remote chance of occurring again.

Has this ‘cougar moment’ come to an end?

About a week or so after I had gone out to the lounge, I got a call to my mobile. Since I did not recognize the number, I decided not to answer it and have the call go to voice mail (hey, isn’t it what it is for?).

The caller did leave a message and, to my surprise, it was Jeffrey. More surprising was what he said. “Hey, it’s Jeff. I was driving around your area and, don’t know why, but I felt the need to call you.”

Oh, how nice it felt when I heard that! I even put my hand at my heart and shrugged my shoulders for how moved I got.

It was a great feeling indeed. His tone of voice sounded soft and sincere, like he appreciated me for who I was and not some ‘crazy cougar’ he met at a bar.

And getting that line of ‘I felt the need to call you’ sounded very romantic to me.

Even more, I felt loved again. I felt for a moment like I was flying on air. I felt pretty and every other good feeling in between.

I heard the message again several more times before calling back. More than showing that perhaps I was desperate (which I was, greatly), I wanted to enjoy this brief moment.

I had no idea what would happen after I returned the call. But during those minutes that I sat there and listened to the message, I had the feeling that my life would be just fine.

It is, so far, right now.

I got home and took a look at the piece of paper in which Jeffrey had written his phone number. This was the first time I had experienced this situation after becoming single again, so I didn’t know what to make of it.

I don’t recall thinking or feeling anything in particular. It didn’t even hit me that it was a ‘cougar moment’ or a young guy showing interest in an older woman.

I didn’t even question myself if there was any slight possibility of him calling me, what his intentions were, if I should take the first step in approaching him, or whatever else in between.

Back then I was so overwhelmed by my whole situation that my mind was stuck in analyzing anything. I was basically taking one day at a time in overcoming this ‘bad moment’ I was living.

I put the number away in a place that, in case I wanted to find it, could do so.

It had been an enjoyable evening. For a few hours I almost forgot my reality. But this same one had left me exhausted, so all I just wanted to do was to get some sleep.

I took the lead once again and walked into where the other bar was located. I walked by the left side and when I was boarding the corner, yep, there he was; that guy.

He saw me and said a very inviting ‘hi’ to approach him. I smiled and walked straight to him. I introduced myself and to his friend, and did the same with the two girls with me to include them.

He said his name was Jeffrey. We were talking in English and when they asked where I was from, it turned out his friend was a fellow ‘homey.’

It was then that the ice was really broken. Everyone talked in Spanish and the encounter became very relaxed.

Somewhere along the conversation, the ‘mysteries’ began, or not disclosing things clearly. I don’t remember how it happened, but the age question was brought up and he said he was about 26 or ‘in his late 20’s.’

Regarding relationship status, Jeff’s friend stated that he was involved in a ‘complicated’ relationship and that the ‘significant other’ (or not) was a psychopath. (Ouch! Am I supposed to feel afraid now?)

When my age was asked, I didn’t exactly said what it was (why should I?), but did made it clear there was a difference of more than just a few years.

We all kept engaged in the conversation until around midnight when the two guys said they had to go (hmm, does the psychopath has anything to do with their departure?).

I don’t remember (yet again) how it happened (who asked first), but an exchange of phone numbers occurred. I do remember thinking about it twice before giving it, and doing so more out of desperation than anything else.

After they left, I kept talking to the girls, but my mind was working at many miles a minute. This was a moment I hadn’t lived in ages and didn’t know what to make of it.

It didn’t even hit me that I’ve had made ‘contact’ with a much younger man than me.

Yes, I didn’t realize I had just become a cougar, or, did I? Or perhaps I just had a ‘cougar moment’ instead?

I don’t know. This was my first time out as a newly single woman and, so far, so good.

In other words, for tonight, I’ll just enjoy it.

The three of us arrived at the lounge around 9pm and the place was pretty much filled-up already. It was the first time I was at this place and got a good impression of such.

It had an indoor area with a bar, sitting room and dance space, plus a balcony area with an additional bar. I suggested walking around the location to familiarize ourselves with it (and check out the guys, of course).

I lead the way and walked first; when I entered the room I glanced around at the people standing at the bar or balcony rail when (whoa!), the sight of a particular guy basically stopped me in my tracks.

I looked at him and my jaw dropped. He was tall (very tall, way over six feet), with a fabulous ‘fohawk’ hairstyle, an awesome body and facial features of a runway model.

I don’t know how long I stood there staring (probably just a few seconds, but it felt as if I had gotten frozen in time) when I snapped out of it.

“How about if I buy a round of drinks?” asked I in an effort to staying around and keeping close watch on this guy. I didn’t have a plan in mind to approach him (I wasn’t thinking anything, seriously. This was the first time for me that I went out). I just wanted to (I don’t know) enjoy some ‘eye candy.’

Everyone got a drink and I stood in an angle that enabled me to speak to everyone, but still keep an eye on the guy.

During my conversation, I tried to look at him from time to time. Lucky me he was standing sideways, which helped me being not so obvious with my behavior.

Some time later the guy started walking away with another guy and passed me on my right side. I looked at him and gave him a big smile. Part of me expression was my amazement of how tall he was (over a foot taller than me). But, damn, this guy is so adorable.

I wanted to follow this guy so bad, but I was with this two girls.

So, what do you do now? I kept talking while analyzing the situation internally until a thought came to my mind.

“Hey, why don’t we take a walk and check out the rest of the place?”

Shortly after my past life began (my ‘x’ had left me but no dissolution finalized yet), I was really angry at everything. I couldn’t wait to do things, lots of them (like?) that would get my life rolling again (meaning?).

Everything was confusing to me back then. I had no sense of direction and felt completely alone. I just wanted to get even at my ‘x,’ and now that I was supposedly ‘free,’ I wished to do all that I’ve felt missed or was unable to do throughout my married years.

Yep, I wanted to do so much when, honestly, I felt I had nothing to look forward to. It was just myself, with plenty of emotions to deal with.

It was a Saturday afternoon when my phone rang. It was a friend of mine who proposed going with another girlfriend of hers to a bar/club that I’ve wanted to go for some time. “I certainly do!” said I very enthusiastically.

After the call, I went straight to my closet and looked for the dress that I thought would be the sexiest to wear. I was definitely on a hunting mode; my mission from now on was to meet and date as many guys as I could.

I wanted to be the ‘it girl,’ a ‘party animal,’ ‘the wild thing.’ Whatever that would bring out the other side of me that had been dormant inside as a result of my ‘x’s’ influence and all of his stupidities.

And if someone that knew me saw me, even better. What a great revenge it would have been that news got to his ears that the one ‘you left behind’ was now all changed, hot and living life to the fullest.

Let the game begin…

All right, I have to talk about this topic.

It seems that now this is what’s on vogue for women. It has become socially acceptable for older women to get involved with younger men (or whatever your preference might be). And if it happens that you get involved in such a relationship, kudos for you!

Why did I decide to approach this topic? Because I’ve been a cougar, more times than I can believe myself occurred.

Yes (believe it or not), my list includes the Swedish massage guy, firefighter, doctor and Bostonian.

Yep, two of these men were at least 15 years younger than me, and the other two had about 8 years less.

But, there’s one, the real first guy I met after my ‘past life’ began, the youngest of them all, which made me one without knowing it.

I hadn’t spoken about it before because it wasn’t until now that this ‘cougar’ phenomenon has hit me.

Because it is now that I’ve embraced it and am ready to open up about it.

Because I believe that if I embrace it, I might find a total new light of myself that I hadn’t recognized before.