This is what basically has been happening. Every so often I write him an email when I get reminded of him because I hear his first name.
The subject line always reads like, ‘Can I get you off my mind?’ or ‘You became present again’.
The content of the mail describes the incident of how I remembered him, that all I want is to really forget him, and don’t understand why the universe is playing games with me on this.
He sometimes replies that he’s sort of a force that refuses to go away from my life and it‘s interesting how his presence is remembered.
He always mentions that he’s my friend and he hopes our friendship continues, and that life will gift me with a worthy relationship.
Other times he doesn’t reply at all. Maybe it’s an overkill that I write about the same thing every time. Most probably is that he’s telling me nicely that we need to move on.
If you look at the replies closely, he never talks about us. It’s about me thinking about him, and he finding an explanation of why they occur.
He replies because he has to, especially to back-up his friendship argument. But it’s clear I’ve been stretching this situation for far too long.
The same goes for his social media profile. I was devastated when he closed it. I thought it all had to do with me.
It was months later when he reactivated it. I felt as if I had reconnected with him. But then, instead of me ‘staying away’, I continued writing posts in his profile.
I recently got a request from his daughter. I got nervous because I felt exposed as if the world knew who I was.
I told him about it, and his wife and daughter were questioning him who I was. He told them that I was and old college girlfriend.
Regardless of what the truth is or not, I created a huge problem for him and it’s not going away unless a change is made.
So what did I do? Of course I declined the request and stood back for a while. But as soon as I go online and read his posts, I get the impulse of writing something.
Sadly, all that I’m doing is looking for some acknowledgement from him that he still thinks about me.
I’m surprised he hasn’t cut me off all together. Whatever the reason for him doing that, both the universe and him are sending out this message from afar of what I should do.
And if I’m always reaching out to the outer limits for guidance and advice, why am I ignoring the huge, visible crater that’s in front of me?