This process of putting the pieces of the past together has been a great mental exercise. It’s still strange, though, that there have been bits missing. How is it possible that I don’t remember all about Johann when he was such an important part of my life?
I’ll tell you this. One day I was driving to work and the radio station played a song that woke me up more than my alarm does.
The song was one among many of the music that I had mailed him in the past. I don’t remember specifically about the rest, other than they were primarily love songs.
The lyrics of this one always reminded me of him. It sang about this man who constantly has to travel for work and this separates him from his loved one.
He knows that what he does is not how life with a significant other is supposed to be, but he reassures her that, no matter what happens, he will always be faithful to her.
The song continues in that he asks the same of her, to not stray, and that whenever he gets to see her again, he feels joy in discovering her over and over.
I identified with the song because Johann and I had a friendship and love for each other that was not the standard. He was always traveling and I would get to know him more with each new letter received. Even more, he was faithful to me all the time he was in the navy.
Using this song in the present, it was the ultimate joy that we got to reconnect and know each other again.
There are no expectations here other than to stay together as friends and that we may live our lives for others and ourselves accordingly.
The only part of the song that may not ‘repeat’ is seeing each other. That’s a hard one and will take a lot more than just singing the blues for it to happen.