The New M.E. Generation

{November 28, 2008}   You Can Be My Hero 4 – I’ve seen this re-run already!

Once outside, he shared with me that he loves the water, which included doing scuba diving, snorkeling, surfing and spear fishing; how he would like to retire someday and sail around the world.

Now I was getting very anxious. Brian’s personality sounded so much as my ‘x,’ it was like a copycat was standing in front of me. The feeling was way too close to home.

I looked at Brian’s eyes and my mind started wandering back in time. (What’s his name) and I used to share a boat. We sailed to many places I can’t now all recall. I did all that, but now it feels so far away, like it never happened.

Sadness engulfed me and I tilted my head down. When I looked at Brian again, I felt for a moment that I was actually (him) who was standing in front of me.

‘Tell me, what happened to us? Where did all our plans and dreams go? I thought we would always be together,’ I sadly asked myself.

“If you had the chance to marry again, would you?” Brian asked me.
“What??” I fell back to Earth very quickly. I was cut off guard and can’t formulate an answer at that moment. “I don’t know…” is all I could say.
“I would if I founded someone special again to share my life with, because, at the end of the day, I believe that love is what truly matters,” Brian concluded.

‘What is he talking about? Why is he telling me all these things? Why am I even listening to him?’ I rushed to ask myself.

Why am I allowing this night to turn my world upside down?

I felt I was loosing a grip on my emotions and an urge to run away. In other words, I need to make an exit now, ‘pronto’ (soon).

“I think it’s getting late and should go home,” I said very calmly to my own surprise.
“Do you really have to go?” Brian asked.

No, I really didn’t have a reason to go. But, on the other hand, what reason did I have to stay?

Brian asked me for my phone number; he said he would call me in the future to take a ride on his boat and go snorkeling. I don’t ask for his; my emotions just didn’t let me do it. I later regretted it to the max.

Would I like to go snorkeling with him? Absolutely.

I promised myself that, this time, I wouldn’t take it personally if he, like the ‘other guys,’ never resurfaced again after this night.

And, I’ll try not to stare endlessly at my phone waiting for his call.

I’ll try.


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