The New M.E. Generation











{July 30, 2009}   In The Beginning 2 – My life back then

I wasn’t expecting for Madelyn to throw me a lifeline or anything related. But my initial encounter with Ricky does involve her.

Madelyn had invited me to an art event and, as usual, asked Dina to tag along as well.

I remember that time of my life very clearly. The dissolution had just occurred and I was an emotional wreck. I was trying to put a good face but it was just very hard for me to do that.

Madelyn and Dina were inviting me to anything even if it sounded like a crappy event. Dina would say that they would invite me because ‘I was the honey that attracted the bees.’ The real deal was that both were making endless efforts to distract me from my reality, which was very sad.

The rejection from the separation really affected my self-esteem. I had lost at least 15 pounds and my diet basically consisted of a cup of coffee and a glass of juice in the morning. That was it for the entire day.

I was avoiding looking at myself in the mirror because I didn’t found myself pretty inside or outside.

Trying to dress up to go out was even more difficult. Nothing that I wore could make me feel good.

I don’t know how, but I managed to pick something simple and safe, a white sleeveless dress. It didn’t say much, which in a manner correlated with my life at the time.

‘I’m a divorced woman,’ was all that kept popping in my head. Whatever else crossed my mind is now a blur and can’t remember any of it.

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