The New M.E. Generation











{December 21, 2009}   The Accidental Cougar 12 – Living beyond your mean

Jeff and I kept communicating on and off for some time. We would talk on the phone or have extended conversations at my place.

With time, he started opening up to me. I got to understand why he was the why he was. He had experienced life on the edge; lived situations that were beyond his biological age.

They were ones that I can never imagine getting myself into, or know how I’ve would have handled them during the time that they occurred to him or if they would to me in the future.

But, the more he shared things, the more I grew to respect him.

I also felt sorry for him. A few times he got really emotional and that broke my heart. Although he had recovered from those bad moments, he was still deeply scarred and there was a pain within him that seemed to refuse to go away.

There were times when I wanted to reach out to him but couldn’t. In a certain manner I had lived a life much like his.

My marriage did not turn out as I hoped it would have, and many situations left me feeling that I also had lived way beyond my years.

I was deeply scarred as well, and my emotional pain was so bad it almost made me ‘emotionally challenged.’ It was so deep that I had lost some sense of empathy towards others.

But I did care about him and told him many times. But him, like me, had a hard time believing this from others.

Being hurt and in pain had become part of our lives. It had become second nature.

And what was this cougar playing in all this? I will say this: what we both lived made each other ageless. There wasn’t an age difference here.

But with his uncertain look at life, the cougar simply let him know that ‘hey, I’m still here. I’ve lived through it all and, although I’m down now, I will make it back to the top somehow.

You have lived enough to be practically my age. But if I survived it and still have a positive outlook for the future, so should you.’

Like I said, I did care about him. Hopefully I’m drilling some sense into him.

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