The New M.E. Generation

{April 28, 2010}   Another Cougar Moment 8 – Doing it for me

Madelyn felt my sense of frustration over the phone. What started as a fun conversation turned into a sad one. I even felt like crying.

“Emma, please don’t be so hard on yourself. You’ve gone through such a difficult period in your life and need to give yourself some time.”

“But it’s been like three years already and I feel I’m in a rut as it regards to love. It’s just not happening to me.”

“You’ve regained so much for yourself, and you’re summarizing your current life as ‘incomplete’ because you don’t have a guy?

Maybe what’s happening to you is that you’re still not ready for the real thing and life is throwing tests at you so you see for yourself where you’re standing. And Jesse was one. I mean, don’t tell me you have an interest in him? (I don’t answer and Madelyn gets upset with me.)

You know damn well that if you get involved with him it will be to repeat what you’ve done before and for the wrong reasons. If you do, I will personally go to your place and slap you until you get it.

I think you need to be alone for a good while. When you get past this stage you are now, I guarantee it will happen to you in a nice, smooth way when you least expect it.

Can you at least do that for me? I never ask you for anything.”

“I know, you’re right. You always are,” said I.

After I hung up with Madelyn, I remained seated thinking over the whole conversation. I don’t know how long I was there, but I surely analyzed myself really hard like I’ve done so many other times before.

The only solution that came to mind was to stop putting my energy into it and live life one day to the next as I’ve been doing so far.

It is all that I’ve done. It is all that I know.


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