The New M.E. Generation











{October 15, 2010}   Friendship Above All 20 – Handling it with priority

“All right, I’ll do it, the night thing,” I said.

“Are you sure?” asked Alex.

“Yes, because I am confident you will hold on to your word.”

“Sound like you don’t really trust me.”

“I do. I’m just doing something I haven’t done for a while.”

We met on the weekend. It was the first time too that I got to know his place, but I had a feeling it would be nice, which it was. It reminded me much of mine, not too big, and well kept and organized. There was a sense of tranquility and peace in this place, although it was not his. Maybe we’ve both finally found a ‘good place’ to be within ourselves.

His bed sure was comfortable, and we basically sat there to watch TV. It reminded me of other times when I did that with other guys. I had no worries and felt good, wishing it could stay like this. But, this time around, I had a feeling it wouldn’t repeat with Alex.

“Why don’t you tell me what’s on your mind? You haven’t moved or said anything since we sat here”, said Alex.

I lowered the TV volume. “Yeah, I’ve been thinking a lot about your plans of going back to school and all. Truth is, I don’t know where I fit in this. You are dealing with a lot, including your job and kids. You should concentrate your efforts in those board tests.”

“But when I did my post-grad I was able to handle all that.”

“Yeah, but you were married and your ex helped in many ways. Besides, you can’t compare a degree to these examinations.

I will support you throughout this process. But I can’t be in a relationship with someone who will have a very tight schedule and basically no time for me. I don’t want to be a distraction or pressure that will negatively affect your concentration.”

“But I don’t see you as that. I want to be with you and know can deal with all things like we’ve done so far.”

“I think you need to put yourself first and accomplish this major challenge. I honestly don’t want to be sitting on the sidelines waiting for you to put aside some time for me. If I’m going to be with you, I expect to be a priority equal to all of yours.”

Alex realized we were not coming to an agreement on this issue, so he stopped the dialogue. I could tell he was frustrated, as he turned his face back to look at the TV.

I started to wonder if I was too hard on him. “Listen, I don’t want the night to end in a bad note. Can we just enjoy it or talk about anything else?”

“All right,” said he with a so-so tone.

Oh, no, I did it again. I messed it up.

 

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