The New M.E. Generation











{April 25, 2011}   Something About Me 14 – Emotionally retarded

And the connections kept on coming. But this time I wanted to connect with a guy I had known since my adolescent years which who I had lost touch with all together.

The last time I saw him I was with my ‘x’ back home eating at a deli when I bumped into him. I had not seen him for at least 10 years.

When I saw him again we were quite happy to see each other. I introduced him to ‘that guy’ and he gave me his business card. After I got back to ‘the city’, I misplaced the card or something and didn’t follow-up on contacting him.

Probably more like I putted the card away and forgot about it. My ‘x’ had an issue with me reconnecting with guys from my past, regardless if they had been just that, friends.

It didn’t matter if those former friends were a thousand miles away and I would probably never get to see them again. That guy I was married to with was so insecure, he felt threatened by them, but on what?

I mean, my ‘x’ was unhappy with me for many things, personal and physical. So instead of taking those feelings and figured it out and/or resolved them for the better, he would instead tell me he didn’t like me being friends with any guy.

My ‘x’ was such a jerk that what he was communicating was that he didn’t trust me, and I had to cut ties with others so I would ‘deviate’ from him.

He accomplished that and much more by isolating me and giving up my friendships, and what I represented for myself at that time.

I did not contact this former friend, which I later regretted. After the separation occurred, I confronted my ‘x’.

“You have no idea how much damaging that was to me you saying I had to cut ties with former guy friends,” said I.

He gave me a look of not knowing what I was talking about. Of course, he was never wrong at anything, only me.

“Who the hell you think you were to tell me who I can or can not be friends with?”

His eyes were wide open and a face he was freaking out. He had never seen or hear me this, finally standing up for myself.

“Guess what? I am friends now with all of them.”

“I don’t remember,” said he, “but all I can say is that I’m sorry.”

“No, you’re not!” said I, “You’re saying that now because you’ve always been in denial. If you had been sorry or cared about so many other issues, things would have been a lot more different.”

My ‘x’ lowered his face and eyes. I hope he feels guilty for a long time. But, unfortunately, he’s emotionally retarded, meaning he doesn’t get it. But at least I finally told him how I felt.

Advertisements


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

et cetera
%d bloggers like this: