The New M.E. Generation











{March 31, 2014}   Love At First Site 4 – Judging me, judging you

‘Hi, how are you?’ read his chat.

‘Fine; thanks. Was about to reply to your messages’, wrote I.

‘Noticed you were online, so thought it was the best way to speak with you, for now.’

This gave me an uneasy feeling. More than misinterpreting what another person might be trying to communicate, I felt I was somewhat spied upon. It’s as if he was purposely keeping an eye on me, waiting for me to appear.

And what does he mean ‘for now’? Sounds to me that he’s going to decide my fate based upon a few sentences.

‘What do you mean?’ I asked him.

‘Your profile needs work. You’re either covering things or don’t want to be so open about yourself just yet.’

I was right. He’s somewhat interested in me, but because my first impression wasn’t that extraordinary to him, he’s going to decide to either continue pursuing me or not right this moment.

Second of all, who the hell are you to judge me, even less over a dating site profile?

I got angry, but I’m not letting it show.

‘I gave this site a try recently. Putting some more time into it is not my priority these days,’ I wrote.

‘If you want to get anywhere with it, you have to.’

Is that so? Wonder if I should mention that I get messages from 20-somethings.

‘How long have you been on the dating scene?’ asked I.

‘7 years.’

Give me a freaking break!

‘7 years??’ asked I.

‘Yes, but on and off. Have had some relationships here and there.’

And they haven’t worked out because:
(a) You’re a dick.
(b) You think you’re God’s gift to the world.
(c) You’re approaching this site as if it was a bride mail-order catalog.
(d) You think women in general need re-working so they can adjust to your mold.

Answer is: All of the above; but especially the last, because I (and women who are very clear of who they are) will not follow your shopping list.

I did that my entire life, living my existence for others or doing what they expected me to do at the expense of losing my self-esteem and sense of who I was. The one who needs to make changes around here is he.

I didn’t respond to his last chat right away, so he realized I wasn’t happy.

‘I’ve used different dating sites throughout the years, but I’m not active all the time.’

Whatever, you blew it. Still no response from me.

‘When you update your profile, let me know,’ wrote he.

‘Yeah’ is all I said.

I don’t (or care to) remember who ended the chat. After that day we never communicated again.

About a month later his profile was closed. I wasn’t surprised or even wondered if he had found someone.

Regarding my profile, still the same as he saw it and with the 100 answered questions.

And the answer to what to do about all this: you have to keep on trying.

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