The New M.E. Generation











{November 7, 2016}   The Swipe 7 – First impressions

Cameron and I agreed to meet at the bar of a family restaurant. I thought this would be the best way to do so, as if things don’t go along as you hoped for, then you can end the night early without much fuzz.

He showed up on time (which I liked), but wearing his usual work outfit, a printed t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers. This is standard dressing for guys in my company, but if you’re going out on a first date, wouldn’t you amp up your style just a little bit, in an effort to make a good impression? I did.

Obviously this is all he’s got (clothes that is) and, sorry for saying this, has no idea what’s going on with men’s fashion, as printed t-shirts are now out of style and looks like will not make a comeback any time soon. In other words, his creativity on this surely failed.

We spoke about many things, but primarily on our relationships status. I shared some of my experiences and how the dating app has resulted in 2 disappointing connections so far.

He explained to me that he was going through a divorce, because his wife had gotten involved with another man (ouch!). She claims to be really into him and has even introduced this guy to her children (2 daughters; 13 and 10 years old) (second ouch!), all the while Cameron is living in his own apartment waiting for this whole mess to get resolved.

As a result, his work performance suffered greatly, which eventually lead him to being let go. Luckily, he was able to find another job rather quickly, thanks to the help of other people who also got laid off.

“Imagine being told by your spouse that they want a divorce and that they already have someone else,” said he to me. “Of course I had no mind for work and didn’t get the support from my colleagues that I needed at the time, so I was bound to fail in the long run.”

I told him that ‘I was exactly in your shoes some 8 years ago’, and that there’s no right answers to what to do or not when going through this. ‘Take one day at a time,’ was the best advice I thought I could give him then.

But, honestly, had I been in his place, I would have asked that whore wife of mine to move out with her male bitch boyfriend (and see how much this affair really survived), as well as keeping custody of the kids during the process. I wouldn’t have allowed for a stranger to set foot on a home I purchased with my efforts, and that surely has already spent many nights on the bed I used to share with my former spouse.

And introducing your lover to my kids? F@&* that! That’s showing you don’t care about anything or anyone except yourself.

Another comment that was raising brows was that he had dated a 24-year-old woman for 4 months, when he is 48 (this is a red flag which I will comment more later).

This is so typical of people to do, of getting involved with someone right away during or after a divorce, especially when in a situation like his where there’s cheating. And it is always for the wrong reasons, which is basically trying to show the cheater that, hey, you got yourself a lover, well, I have mine now.

And the icing on the cake being that she’s way younger than the wife (more like old enough to be Cameron’s daughter). It’s like a competition of trying to outdo in a bigger scale what the other person has done to you. Call it revenge, call it getting even, it’s all a need of ‘giving you a taste of your own medicine’ for the pain that has been inflicted on you.

The reason for the break-up with the 24-year-old, according to him, was that she expressed that she would like to have kids in the future and he doesn’t want any more, so at the end of a long, extensive conversation, they decided to call it quits.

I wasn’t buying the whole thing, as I very much know there’s two sides to every story, but because it was already in the past, I felt it was better not to expand on it when I didn’t even know how this date would end.

I didn’t ask him how long ago this happened, which was a mistake from my part. Depending on this detail, it can make a difference on any future relationship, especially if recent, because that means a person is not ready for a new one just yet.

The other red flag I didn’t give much thought to was when I asked him if he has gotten himself ‘fixed’. He told me ‘no’.

Dude, if you already decided you don’t want any more kids, you should take care of that right now! If you don’t, then it means you’re not 100% on board with this.

And why weren’t you upfront on this matter when you got involved with the 24-year-old? Even more, why risk having an ‘oopsie moment’? Put your ‘mucho macho’ ego aside (you’re not that hot to begin with) and get it done!

Perhaps the biggest surprise of the night was when he asked me if I was friends with Dina. Turns out that he had met her some years back in another state when he interviewed her at ad agency he worked at.

Even more surprising was that the current ad agency that Cam works for, as well as Dina’s and mine, all belong to one main company.

Dina and Cam share the same office space (different companies), and Cam recognized Dina because he saw a post of her on my social media.

Cam then said that he ‘sees her almost every day at the kitchen during lunch, but doesn’t talk to her because he doesn’t know her personally’.

Curiously, I know them both; Dina knows me, but doesn’t ‘know’ him; Cameron knows me and ‘knows’ her. Sounds confusing? It sure does, more like a ‘who knows who’ triangle.

Instead of me thinking that Dina will probably be happy to know that I’m dating Cameron (if that was to happen), I was thinking of her more as someone who could keep an eye on him. But that wouldn’t be right of me to ask, and for her to do, especially at work.

So what plan of action will it be? Too early to say. Honestly, if I survive this night and move forward to other meetings, I’ll consider it a small victory in my never-ending dating saga.

Meanwhile, I’ll just drink to it all. Cheers!

 

 

 

 

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