The New M.E. Generation

{November 14, 2016}   The Swipe 8 – Two to tango

In spite all these major details from him, the night went along well, so much that we were basically the last two present at the bar when it was already time to close.

Neither one of us specifically verbalized that ‘I would like to see you again’. Cameron did show an interest in getting together again, but it had more to do when he would be available to do so.

He mentioned that he was going to have an irregular schedule with his daughters for the next 2 weeks of having them every other day, including the weekends, because of something that had to do with his spouse. So the choices were to either meet on the free weekdays, or wait all the way until these weeks were up.

Thinking that he’s most probably on a tight budget, I suggested going the inexpensive route of cooking dinner at either one’s home.

I went as far as telling him that I had a bbq that hasn’t been used for years and would be nice to bring out of retirement, to which he totally was all up for.

‘Let’s do the effort’ was how he basically summarized it. True, and at least he’s talking about 2 people doing this together. ‘It takes 2 to tango’ applied here perfectly, since he’s from that very same country for which it’s famous for.

The next time we decided to meet was to be at his place after work, as he was to cook dinner for me. I agreed to this because I wanted to see where and how he lived (distance of his home from mine, learn if he was a tidy person, etc.) before I decided to invite him home (or not) afterwards.

I believe it was on a Tuesday (he wouldn’t have his daughters that day) that we agreed to meet and, of course, the universe throws something at me of ‘biblical proportions’ that it was either putting me (or situation) to the test, or warning me in advance that this might not work out all together.

To begin with, it started raining late in the afternoon with such magnitude, I was wondering if I didn’t get the memo that a major storm was visiting town. There was so much water that it created a huge traffic jam way before my leave time.

All I could do was stare out my office window, praying that this would go away soon, while keeping Cameron up-to-date on this situation.

I was feeling upset because something always happens with a guy, always. And Cameron had made his effort of leaving work at a descent time to make dinner for me, and now I didn’t even know if I was to make it.

It all cleared out some time after 8pm, but in spite of this hour and driving on the expressway, you always hit traffic, thus delaying me for a good 45 minutes (including finding his location for the first time).

When I finally reached my destination, I took a look around. The area wasn’t bad and his building wasn’t that impressive either. It was located next to the water, but could tell it didn’t even had a pool.

Cameron came downstairs to guide me towards a parking spot. When I was done he says to me, “I wished my apartment didn’t face the street. I could enjoy this view every night.” ‘Ah, yeah, if you say so…’, I thought to myself. Blame it on me growing up in the Caribbean for the lack of excitement.

Upon entering the building, I noticed it had its years, and the decor (or lack of thereof) didn’t help either, making it look somewhat sad. His apartment was really simple and hasn’t been updated that much other than doing the necessary needed to make it livable.

It was a one-bedroom/bath with kitchen and family. For furniture, he had a dining table, a sofa, and drawer beds for his girls. His room only had a bed and night table. I took a peak at his closet and it was full of t-shirts, jeans and casual footwear. I wondered if these were all he had or there were some other stuff left at his former home.

In the conversation we had during dinner, he mentioned that the apartment ‘was economical’, which made sense considering how much a divorce can cost.

We continued on the topic of how to deal with oneself during a crisis, and he said that he was meeting with a therapist. One of the things he has been discussing is that he has gotten lost as a person when his children were born.

I told him that this is what usually happens, but more to women than men; that if he has been involved in raising his children, kudos for him, as men normally don’t change their agendas. Women are expected to change their name and personality, to then become a wife and mother, morphing into something that many times doesn’t even remotely resemble who they were when getting married.

His main mode of therapy is writing movie scripts, an interest he had neglected for quite a while. He explained that he gets up like an hour earlier than he used to, writes like a page or so, then makes breakfast (and wakes up the girls when around), cleans up, gets them to school, followed by him getting to work.

He says he is taking more advantage of the day and feeling more focused, plus reviving a side of him he had almost lost. I replied to him that ‘anything that you believe is positive for you, go for it.’

The next day I texted my bestie for her opinion about my current state of affairs. She kept saying, ‘go with the flow’. ‘I heard men from that country are great lovers and cooks,’ added she.

I know I have to take things slowly, but, unfortunately, this guy is going through a nasty divorce, of which I don’t know when it will get resolved. After that is the collateral damage he will still continue to deal with, plus his children, work, and adjusting to life again as a single man. Add to the mix that failed 4-month relationship with the 24 year old.

Sounds familiar? Yeah. Almost like me (minus the kids). It’s been more than 5 years since being single and I’m still figuring things out.

Question is, if I keep going out with him, will he be willing to ‘take a step further’ and include me in his life, and if so, will I be able to ‘dance to his beat’?

Oh Lord, why does my existence always feels like a sad country song? Time to bring out that good ol’ guitar and violin please!


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