The New M.E. Generation











What happened next is that nothing happened.

I tried calling him several times after our last conversation, but he never answered nor returned my calls.

In other instances I emailed or sent him text messages, but with the same results.

I followed his activities online and at many times he was back home. I thought at first he wasn’t responding because he was with his girlfriend or family (as shown from his pictures), but it got to a point that I got upset.

It became obvious he has no interest in speaking to me again.

The reasons why is a situation I will not dwell upon or let get into me. If it is because of something I said over the phone, well, whatever. I will no longer measure what I say or do to get the acceptance of others. If this is a problem with you, it is your loss, not mine.

What really upsets me is that he said he wanted to meet up with me. I would have preferred that he would have told me that, because of his personal situation, he preferred to keep communicating that way we had done so far.

This way I would have respected him more which right now I really don’t, the same way I do with the rest of the guys who came before him.

Secondly, my belief is that when you have a significant other, meaning they don’t need from others, especially when no ‘benefits’ are involved, they don’t care about following through.

If he had been totally alone here in this city with just a few friends or whatever, he would have probably met up with me.

So, unfortunately, this story will not have a second installment. It will keep its ‘cliff hanger’ for me to give a conclusion to, or not.

Maybe I should leave it as it and that’s it.

The End.

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I took a deep breath and dialed the number. Certain thoughts kept crossing my mind and taking me back in time. While the call started ringing, it was as if, for a moment, I was that young woman way back that summer.

When he answered, it was as if I quickly came back to reality. Truth is, I thought the call would go to voicemail.

“Hi!” said he very happy, “so glad we are talking.”

“Me too! Wow! Can’t believe this is actually happening.” Now I was really nervous.

“Why do you say that?”

“Because the whole commercial thing was so long ago, and I was in college, and you had your career going. I’m sure because of it you have met tons of people, so it could have gone either way about you remembering me.”

“Of course I remember you! Why wouldn’t I? You were a great person. Besides, I was always accessible to people, including you.”

I almost started crying. It was incredible how all people past and present that have been or are part of my life, agree on what he just said. All except one.

“I remember this from you,” said I. “I always felt that you were genuine, which is actually what I thought about you when I saw you on TV during the casting period.”

There was a brief pause from him. It seemed what I said also touched him.

The conversation covered many topics and took a different turn when it got to one aspect in particular.

“I left home because the entertainment industry has taken a deep downslide. There’s a lot of talent, but not enough outlets for all of them to channel,” said he. “I remember when there was this great time in TV that I was doing so much work. Now you have to leave and search for new opportunities. There is no other choice.

Look at me, at my age, starting over both professionally and personally.”

When he said ‘starting over’, something remarkable happened. For the first time ever, I finally connected with him, meaning, I saw him as the person he really is. In other words, I got him because I am on the same spot as he is.

“Of all the people I’ve known,” said I, “you are one of those that I never thought would be where you are now. I always envisioned something totally different for you.”

The conversation continued longer than I had expected. In between all said I learned that his girlfriend lives back home (that explains a lot) and that he is very faithful to her.

Having said that, should I suggest meeting up? Maybe I should leave that to him.

The conversation came to an end when he got another call he needed to answer. (‘Saved by the bell!’)

We quickly agreed to speak again. And just like that, the conversation was over.

So, what happens next?



{February 20, 2012}   Emotions Re-Act 12 – Mental work

The next day I responded that I would love to speak with him, but didn’t want him to get into trouble.

My preference would have been to meet personally, but that’s out of the question.

So, instead, I asked him what is the best way to communicate with him.

He responded by giving me his cell phone number and stating, ‘don’t worry, that won’t happen. Call any time you want.’

Any time? Isn’t he in a relationship? Well, if he says so…

I then sent him a text message with my number, to which he responded upon receipt as ‘got it!’

After this, I decided to make time at night to call him, which I did around 8pm.

I sat down somewhere comfortable with no distractions around (like watching TV), and prepared myself mentally and emotionally.

I started thinking how many years have gone by and how I never thought this moment would ever happen again.

Flashes of memories quickly crossed my mind and still wondered how it all came to be, and how significant that particular day was.

And, as usual, before I dialed, I got nervous.

Yes, the years have been many, but certain emotions will never grow old.



To my surprise, this guy replied a few hours later.

‘Hey, there. It’s great to hear from you. I’m glad to know that you’re living in the area. It’s surprising where life takes you.

I’m sorry about what happened to you. I never thought I would be dealing with the same situation as you. But I’ve been blessed to have a wonderful person and extraordinary woman with me.

Would love to chat with you and share our current state of affairs. Although many years have passed, the memories are always good.’

Wow, he must really have some good ones for responding so quickly, which I wonder what specifically he’s referring to.

I got curious to find out, but, at the same time, if they are positive, why do I need to go there? Why do I feel there’s something unresolved or that I perhaps need to discuss with him to give closure to?

The circumstances at the time just worked against keeping a connection (like the age difference, our individual lives, distance, no social media, etc.), so why not take this opportunity now to just re-establish something and keeping it?

Whatever it is that it’s still spinning around my emotions, I’m just really glad as to what had just happened.

Next step, getting on the phone.



After the brunch event, this guy and I saw each other on and off during the rest of the summer.

I took a college course as well as a part-time job, which made my time quite interesting.

He kept appearing on TV and other media, so I was always up to date on his whereabouts.

I think before I left again to college, his birthday came up, and I had a chance to see him. I gave him a card with a message I personally wrote. He really appreciated my gesture.

The last time I saw him on TV was in another soap. He was playing a gypsy named ‘Piero’. The character had been away from the community and there was a rumor that he had apparently returned to the area. Another male gypsy was trying to find out what was going on. From the look of his face, he wasn’t happy if ‘Piero’ was actually back, as it represented a threat to him.

In the next scene, two women found Piero unconscious on the beach and took him to their home. One of the two kept staring at him and seemed to know who he was (or was trying to conceal it from the other woman).

Piero was placed to rest on a bed. He was still unconscious and without a shirt. OMG!! Is this politically correct?

That was the episode. Wait!! I want to see more (of him, not the soap)!

Shortly after my return to school my birthday came up. I think he called me to congratulate me, and believe this was the last time we spoke. I don’t recall contacting him during the holiday break.

By the time my school year was over and returned home, he was already involved with his ex-wife, so that was pretty much the end of whatever connection there was, until now.

It’s ironic that, many years later, it was through TV that I learned what had happened to him. But this was no soap, it was very much ‘reality’.

So what’s next chapter of this drama? Am I going to contact him or what?

 



I have no recollection of the first part of the day. What I do remember was that the brunch was at a hotel and we stayed there way into the late afternoon.

We were walking around the property and sat somewhere to talk, when something extraordinary happened.

No, it wasn’t romantic. Instead, I got sick as in ‘wasted’, ‘trashed’, whichever way you want to call it. It was the first time I was in a situation like this and it was really bad.

I may have been in college, but I never took a drink while underage. I had decided that I would stay away from trouble because I was far from home and knew my parents wouldn’t bail me out.

I was trying to hold myself together, but it got to a point he noticed I wasn’t looking that well.

He asked me if I was fine, and at first I said ‘yes’, but quickly switched to ‘no’. Don’t know how, but my head ended up resting on his lap.

I was so embarrassed I couldn’t look at him at his face. Darn it! I get to go out with this guy and this is how I get to impress him?

In spite of everything, he was completely at ease and didn’t seem upset at my condition. How nice, he was probably feeling sorry for me.

Then, the next ‘extraordinary’ event of the day occurred. Translation: I needed to throw up.

I turned my head and saw a wastebasket. I knew I wasn’t going to make it to the bathroom, so I ran to it. Oh my gosh, it was horrible, but it definitely made me feel better.

Incredibly, this guy was right behind me, giving me support. He treated this whole incident like it wasn’t such a big deal.

After I felt somewhat better, it was time to do nothing else but to leave. It was the end of this day and whatever chance of anything else happening beyond this point.

I don’t remember getting home, putting myself to bed or else.

The next day is another story. My mom questioned me why I got back at the time I did (which was?) and me having the face I had.

I didn’t tell her about the ‘incident’, and that we were just having fun.

She basically advised me to be careful at whatever I did, regardless of what guy it was.

Yes, mom, I know you’re right. And I’ll definitely think about what you said…when my hangover is gone.



{January 25, 2012}   Emotions Re-Act 8 – Yes I do

A few days later, or something like that, I get a phone call I never, ever saw coming.

It was he and he asked me if I wanted to do Sunday brunch with him.

I had the biggest smile on my face ever and was so nervous I could barely talk.

It was definitely one of those ‘YES!!’ moments when you realize, whatever it is that you did, brought the results you were hoping for.

I somehow managed to control my emotions and give him another type of ‘yes’, as in ‘I would love to go with you.’

The next sequence of events got lost in my mind. I slightly remember his car having a dark color outside and light inside.

Knowing how I was back then, I probably didn’t speak much during the car ride as to not say anything stupid.

I was also sort of shy and avoided looking at him at all times. It was also a surreal day that just couldn’t believe was actually happening.

What I do remember is that he was wearing white cargo pants with zippers on the knee area that would convert to bermudas if you took the bottom half off.

And, again, he looked mighty good on them. (Correction: whatever I said about being shy just ‘went out the window’, literally.)

Well, hey, if you’re in a small, confirmed space next to someone like him, you are going to stare at a lot more than just his face.

Don’t you agree?



After lunch it was time to shoot the scenes in which we appeared together.

By this time we had already been introduced, but because there was no dialogue in the commercial, the communication between us was very limited.

There was one scene where he was sitting at the bar and all you could see from me was my hand coming from his back, moving upward until it reached his shoulder.

When I was told what I had to do, all that crossed my mind was, ‘I have to touch him?’ (aaaaahhhhhh!!!!)

While the camera was being set, I stared at him and was a nervous wreck. He was so relaxed, so in control of everything. I wondered, could he feel my vibe?

When I finally placed my hand on his shoulder, it was a feeling I can’t explain. It was something like the Earth stood still for a moment and all these fireworks exploded inside of me.

I switched my attention to my nails. My mother had expressed that they looked sort of trashy. Great! Now he’s going to think the same.

I also took a look at the suit he was wearing. It looked mighty good on him (more fireworks).

Later there was another scene together and both were shot as many times as needed until gotten right.

The shooting took us late into the night and I was fine with that because it meant I spent more time with him.

But, all good things come to an end. I think before he left, I built enough courage to give him my phone number. If I did, it was the most self-confident moment of my life so far.

By the time I finally got home, I was excited and sad. I had the moment of my lifetime and it was all over.

Can I get more of them, please?



The next memory of the day was taking a break for lunch.

We all left the bar to another location and I remember that I sat on a table somewhat far from him. I had a direct view of him and I kept staring at him at all times. It was as if I was looking at something larger than life.

I have no recollection if there had been any exchange of words yet. I didn’t even have the courage to approach him either.

There he was in his own world and me on the other side keeping a distance because I probably thought that was the right thing to do. I was not up to his level and that’s how it was to remain.

Besides, what did I have that could have impressed him? From where I was sitting, his life was just perfect. Mine was just a big question mark.

I kept looking wondering why I couldn’t be like him, someone who just knew what he wanted and how it was to be accomplished.

He embodied everything I wasn’t and I had no idea how to turn it around and make it happen for myself.

In other words, how am I making it to the other side if I’m stuck where I am right now?



et cetera