The New M.E. Generation











Yes it was. It wasn’t just rain; it seemed as if a hurricane had just hit the area and I wasn’t aware of it.

The water came down heavy and hard, so much that not even the curtains to protect the dinning area helped.

Our waiter offered to relocate us so we chose to sit at the bar. I excused myself to go to a ‘brb’, but more than that, I needed to take a breather.

The rain, in its horrific state that presented itself, was ironically a lifeline. It started just when the arguing conversation needed to end before it got worse.

When I got back, Alex was talking to these two girls sitting to his left. I wasn’t pleased about it, but didn’t show it. Instead, I joined in the conversation to pretend I didn’t care. I ordered a new drink and decided not to let it get to me again.

I enjoyed the rest of the night as much as I could. The rain ended and it sure was the same for me.

Alex walked me to my car and we said good-bye. I wasn’t sure what to expect in the future, if that.

Some weeks later he called me and we met up again. Other time after I called him and hanged out. In between we call each other and have good conversations.

We finally got to where we should have all along: being friends. It feels as if the time gap never happened.

I’m glad to say I’m content with the relationship we have right now and can only wish it stays this way.

Could anything else happen between us? No, it won’t. I’m sure we’re not meant for each other and I’m fine with that.

Whatever could happen next (or not), well, I’m not going to chase it down like I used to. I’ll just let the universe take care of that.



I was still analyzing his question and couldn’t think for an answer. Why is that? Is it because I’m angry with him or it’s just that I’ve had it with questioning myself over this?

“Hmm,” said I, “I want to be with somebody. I’m not asking for much.”

“I don’t think you’re ready for that,” said he.

Say what? Oh no, here we go again with him telling me what I’m apparently feeling when he doesn’t have the full scope of my life then and now.

I was upset with him like before, but didn’t want to loose control of myself and say or do something I would later regret.

“Sorry, but I don’t agree with you. I’ve been alone for quite a while and even have spent some time on my own on purpose to review my whole life in general. I feel I am ready to give a new relationship a try.”

I didn’t want to concentrate all the conversation on me, so I switched to his last relationship. He had told me over the phone it lasted over a year, but ended because she wanted to have a child and he didn’t want any more of his own.

“What about you?” asked I, “You said your relationship ended because of the baby situation.”

“Yes,” said he, “but we loved each other.”

“But she wasn’t really into you in the long run. You were a means to an end, more of a sperm donor if you asked me. Have you stayed with her or not, or she ends up with another guy, once she gets what she wants, she doesn’t need that person any more and will leave him. That’s not love. That’s being selfish.”

I don’t remember how the conversation ‘calmed down’ afterwards, but another element came into play.

Is that rain?



Alex got up from his chair and greeted me.

‘Oh, my,’ I thought to myself, ‘he looks old, like he has aged quite a bit. And, was he that much shorter than me? Maybe not; it’s just probably my mega heels.’

I also noticed how thin he was. He was this way when I first met him, but was toned because he was exercising. Now he looked he has lost weight.

We said hello to each other with a big hug. I bet a huge sigh of relief came out of both of us.

We sat down and I ordered a drink. He was open for me to order whatever I wanted, even food, and he meant anything. But before I got to that part, I wanted to take care of something else.

“Listen, thanks for taking my call and inviting me tonight. I’m not here to dwell on the past and express again how sorry I am for whatever I said and I did that hurt you. So I’m just going to move forward and enjoy this moment now and wish that it repeats.”

He listened to all I was saying and out of nowhere he simply replied, “what is it that you want?”

What? I was talking about us (I think). Why is he throwing this type of question at me now, today?

All I wanted was to clear things out once and for all, not dwell into a topic I really don’t want to discuss right now.

Now what? Should I answer or avoid answering all together?



Alex did call back. He offered to meet for dinner the next Friday evening and I accepted the invite.

I dressed nicely that day and some strange feeling hit me when I looked at myself on the mirror.

Isn’t this the dress I wore the night I first met him?

I started to freak out! But, no time to change or I will be late to work.

The day went very slow and, even more, it rained, big time. It was as if nature was trying to not make this happen.

I left work on the dot and headed to the restaurant, which was somewhat far. The rain kept lingering and seemed it was to strike again any minute now. I just didn’t want to get wet walking from the car to the location.

When I finally did, it was somewhere in this big mall. I was totally lost when I parked and had to call him to give me directions.

It took me about 15 minutes to finally reach the restaurant. I was already in a bad mood and the rain seemed that it was going to chase me down.

This is not how I wanted this re-encounter to happen. I’m still talking to him while walking to the restaurant when I finally get there and see him at the distance.

All right, Emma, take a deep breath and make it right. You don’t want it to be your fault if all goes wrong tonight.



I took the courage to finally make the call and sort of hoped it would go straight to his voicemail, but it didn’t. He answered almost right away.

“Hey! How are you?” said he very enthusiastically. I wasn’t expecting such a warm welcome.

It was so unexpected I had no idea how to respond. I took the easy way of instead talking about our lives since we last spoke up to the present.

I let him do most of the talking to gain some time while I organized my thoughts.

When all was pretty much said, I knew it was ‘now or never’ to say what I really needed to.

“Listen…the real reason why I called you was because things did not end the right way and that’s not really how I like things to happen.

I know it has been some years, but I’m sorry for whatever I did to you that probably hurt you. It all happened during a difficult time for me and I just didn’t know how to handle the situation.”

I had just finished my sentence when he quickly responded, “if it was a bad time for you, it was equally for me.”

Wow, now that I didn’t expect! So that’s what’s it came down to. It wasn’t our time. Question is, could it be now?

I felt a huge sense of relief and more of a reason to make an effort to renew our friendship.

The conversation ended well and he said he would call soon to meet up one day. Sounds good to me. Hope he does.



After I sent the email I put my mind into something else. It was one of those few moments in which I would do something and not dwell or kept thinking about what would happen next.

After a few hours of not checking my emails, I finally did. At that moment, I got the curiosity if any outcome had occurred. And it did. He replied.

“Hey, nice to hear from you after all this time. My life is going well with work, kids and else. Give me a call and let’s talk and get an update of everything that’s going on. You probably still have my number, but here it is just in case.”

Wow, that was so unexpected, the part of being so nice and even providing his number. I did expect a reply, but not this type.

Although something written can be interpreted in many ways, it gave me a good vibe. It was the feeling of being an invitation to reopen the lines of communication.

So now that I got the response I really wished for, more than excited, I’m scared.

Of course I will call him. How I speak over the phone is another thing. No room to repeat mistakes.

Damn, what have I gotten myself into?



I was glancing through the list of possible date candidates that I receive daily via email, when…(whoa!), is that him?

I quickly opened his profile and, sure enough, it was he. He still had some photos that I remember seeing when I first met him plus some new ones.

Those others showed a much happier person and I was glad. It has been a few years and by this time I’m sure he had achieved getting his medical license and taking care of other aspects of his life.

I enjoyed looking at his pictures, but having an active profile also meant he was still single all together. So maybe I wasn’t that wrong in my opinion when we knew each other.

Reality is, it’s been that long since we last spoke that it doesn’t matter now. The present does.

I kept looking at his profile and pictures, and decided to send him an email. He looked that he was in a good place so contacting him didn’t felt like a bad idea.

What’s the worst that could happen? That he deletes it and/or never replies to it? Probably.

All right, here I go.

‘Hey, how are you? I accidentally came across your profile and from the look of your pictures I can tell that life is good for you.

I know things between us didn’t end in a good way, but please know that I only wish the best for you.’

I was nervous hitting the ‘send’ button. What I said was to the point, but how will he take it? Just do it. (Done.)



It took me a while to get over this whole experience, but I managed to do it, including overcoming the emotional part.

It was a good thing that I did because wherever I thought about it, I was able to think or talk about it more objectively.

As more time went by, I moved away from the blame game and concluded that it was an unfortunate incident how it all turned out.

I say this because, in essence, he was a very nice guy and treated me well. He was one of the few that had potential of having something going for.

But ending things in a bad note is not how I like to do things. It has been some years already and have been contemplating if it would be a good idea to approach him and clear things out.

No, I’ll just drop it. Sometimes it’s just better to let things stay as they are. If I need to do something about it, I will know. How? Hmmm, I will know…



I did take a break of speaking with Alex for a while, and so did he. I had no idea of his whereabouts, and his lack of communication made me feel he was still pretty upset with me.

I kept telling myself that the best thing to do was not making any effort in contacting him in any way. But Thanksgiving was coming up and the sentiment behind this holiday was making me reconsider this situation.

For me it was a time to put aside all those bad feelings and come together for the blessings received during the year. This included having meeting him and his friendship.

Maybe the timing is perfect to clear out all that happened before and start (or end) in a much favorable way.

But I was wrong, yet again. He didn’t answer my call nor returned it, leaving me with a bittersweet aftertaste. It made me feel he was still totally upset with me. Even more, he couldn’t put aside how he felt and appreciate my ‘peace treaty’ attempt.

I can accept he doesn’t want anything with me, but not even having the courtesy to thank me and wish me well? Ouch! That’s such a killer.

So, in the end, I ‘ended’ where it all started; alone and without a friend, guy or anything. He made his choice and there’s nothing else for me to do.

I tried to come to terms with it and can only conclude that it was not meant to be. Blame it on timing, our insecurities, our past, the change of weather, whatever.

Was it worth it? Don’t know and I’m not going to dwell on it.

All I can say is, ‘it happened.’ That’s it.



et cetera