The New M.E. Generation

I’ve pretty much managed to archive all these guys that I gave closure to. But it’s inevitable that something triggers thinking about them from time to time.

Take for example, Erik. Every time I come across something related to Sweden, he comes to mind. It got to a point that I really questioned myself, whatever happened to him after I last saw him?

I decided to give him a ‘second rest’ and try to communicate with him one last time. I wasn’t looking to get anything out of it, just to say ‘hello’ and wish him well.

I did a search and found him on a networking site and luckily was able to send him a message, which read something like, ‘hey, how are you? I saw something on TV about your home country, so I thought about you. I’m doing fine and I’m sure you’re too. If you ever want to talk, let me know and will get in touch.’

All right, done. I’m sure this is definitely the last time so I’m glad I did this.

But…he did answer back, about three weeks later. Now that’s a turnaround of events!

He opened his email pretty much like mine, but he was relocating to Asia at the end of the month. He also gave me his number and said to call him whenever I wanted.

Wow, moving and quite far (for me)! Well, he’s European and made it all the way over here so he should be fine.

I was glad he answered, but deeply envied him. There are days when I wished exactly that, getting out of here and go somewhere really far. I almost felt like saying, ‘can you take me with you?’

Unfortunately, I’m stuck here for now and all I can do is wish and work for something better.

So, then, am I going to call him? The question is, do I want or really need to even though I was the one suggesting it? No, not really. I’ll just reply.

“I’m very happy for you. I wish you all the best and I know you will excel. Let’s try to keep in touch from time to time. Regards.”

That felt really good.

Now, what’s next?

I did get a reply from Brian. And to my surprise, it was very quick, like on the same day I sent it.

No less surprising was what he said. Sure enough, just as I predicted it, his reply was very brief. Something like in the ’10 words category,’ which read like this:

“Yeah, he told me. Hope all is well with you too.” (11 words to be exact. I almost got a perfect score.) Like I said to myself before, no need to get upset here.

At least I got answers to some of my questions. Yes, Stephan did tell him about the encounter, and, yes, Brian has no interest in seeing me again.

But I don’t know if Stephan made the call or else. It’s like a mystery novel that left you confused after reading it, or an ending of that of a cliffhanger that lets you make your own conclusions after it ended.

So why don’t I make my own? All right, here it goes.

We know that Stephan did tell Brian about the meeting, but Brian showed no interest or made any attempt to contact me.

Stephan did not call Dina, probably because (like previously stated), he realized he was better off not pursuing it.

The ending may not have been what I hoped for (Stephan and Dina going out), but at least it was a fun night.

And for a moment, I thought Dina’s love life was about to change.

Hey, isn’t that what I’m shooting for?

Yes, but sometimes you’ve got to give it to others in order to receive.

Maybe then a new chapter can be written.

That’s it, end of this story.

So, now, how am I going to do this?

Well, I have two options. One is a phone call. Two is an email.

And what did I choose?

Option two of course.

I’m not going through any more of those ‘under three minutes of less’ conversations that really pissed me off in the past.

Yes, email will be.

I know I will probably get (if I do) a ’30 words or less’ (make it more like 20; better yet, 10) response from Brian, which, at the end, will equally upset me. But that all depends on how much I’m willing to let that affect me.

Keeping this in mind, I decided to keep my message as simple and direct as possible, with no mention of meeting up in the future or anything like this, which I did, and read something as follows:

“Hi Brian. The other day I was at a bar with my girlfriend and we met a colleague of yours, Stephan, who tried to pick her up. Nice guy.

I also heard from him that your life is doing well. Glad to hear that.

Best regards, Emma”

Now it’s a matter of waiting for a reply, if any.

I can’t deny I’m curious to know if Stephan mentioned the encounter with Brian and what was Brian’s reaction was when he learned about it.

Brian probably responded like a typical ‘surfer dude’ would do: “Yeah? Cool.”

That’s it, with not a lot of fuzz about it. And then, he simply went back to work as usual.

That’s it, just like that.

It’s been a while since the Stephan incident.

I haven’t heard anything from Dina (which doesn’t surprise me) nor have I touched the subject because I’m pretty sure what the results are (which wouldn’t surprise me either).

And what exactly am I referring to?

That Dina did get the call and she did not answer it. Or, she let the phone call go to voicemail and she did not return it.

Or, she did get the call, answered it, met up with the guy, but the occasion bombed (thanks to her), and she never told me ‘cause she knows I’ll get upset with her.

But, how can I be this sure? What if this guy never called because he lost Dina’s number, like it happened with Brian and me?

What if after seeing Dina’s reaction at the restaurant, Stephan realized she was not worth pursuing?

Now I’m intrigued and want to get an answer. But, how do I go about that? I’m definitely not going to ask Dina directly (no need to get my stress level out of whack).

So the only other available option  is… Oh, no, not that! (Oh yes m.e.!)

I will have to contact Brian, a.k.a., the surfer dude.

Damn, the things I do for my friends. (No, I’m not doing this for myself. This guy is way out of my life!)

OK, here I go…

“What’s wrong Dina?”

“That guy’s 30 years old. He’s too young for me.”

“No you’re not. You’re in your early 30’s, so it’s fine.”

“No it’s more like a little bit over the mid number.” (Oops! Has it been that long since we became friends? Oh yes it has!)

“I still think it’s not such a big issue. Had he become interested in me, then that would have been a concerning matter.”

“I was thinking he would be more suited for my sister.”

“Forget your sister! I you keep passing on these opportunities, you know what, one day there will be no more.

You and I have something in common. We want to have a man in our lives, but we are also avoiding getting involved so we don’t get hurt.

What will happen is that the years will come and go, and we’re going to find ourselves sitting right here where we are right now, wondering what the heck happened. And the reality is, it will be all our fault.”

Dina doesn’t say anything, but by the look on her face she knew I was saying the hard truth.

“Do me a favor,” I said to Dina, “if this guy calls, please answer the phone.”

“I’m not sure…”

“I’m not saying to get in his car or meet him somewhere by yourself. I’m saying to maybe you and I meeting up with him and his friends, which is totally a safe scenario.

Even better, I could get a hold of Brian and we could do a double date. How about that?”

Dina continues to be silent and not that all convinced. Aargh! What is it going to take to put some sense in this woman’s head?

“Listen, I think he’s a descent guy and you should give yourself this chance. What have you got to loose?”

Dina’s face remains unchanged.

“OK, I may not be the best person to dispense this advice, especially considering all the guys I met post ‘past life’ are all ‘MIA’s.’ But, hey, I don’t regret it.

In a certain manner it has made my present life interesting. But it was as the result of me giving myself that chance of living those experiences. And I think you should too. You deserve it,” I concluded.

We finally decided to wrap up for the night. Dina may have listened to my words, but I know she didn’t listen to me. The result of this night will be as always. Nothing will happen or change.

Trust me on this one.

“Stephan, how old are you?” asked Dina. (No! What did she just asked now? Honestly, sometimes she’s worst than me.)

“What? Whoa! That’s some question you just threw at me!” said he.

Dina is looking at him expecting an answer. The situation has cornered this guy and he is forced to reply.

“I’m 30.”

“Oh,” said Dina not so enthusiastically.

Once again, I intervened. “I see that you’re with some friends? Do you come here often?”

“I try to, but my schedule doesn’t make it easy.”

“I know exactly what you’re talking about,” I replied.

The drinks are finally delivered to Stephan. “Listen, I have to get back to my friends, but would like to speak to you again,” said he while looking at Dina. (Yes! My effort worked.)

Dina doesn’t answer but I do for her. “Yeah, maybe we could all meet again in the future. Dina, give him your contact info.”

She takes out her business card and writes her mobile number.

“Thanks,” said he. “Enjoy the rest of the night.”

“Likewise,” I responded.

Dina is still silent. It’s obvious this whole experience is not sitting well with her.

Now what? Please don’t tell me this movie remake has all the elements to bomb at the box office once again.

“So how did you meet Brian?” asked Stephan curiously.

“Well, I was at this event at another restaurant not that very far from this one, and he happened to be on his night off. Long story short, I gave him my number but never heard from him again.

A girlfriend of ours insisted that I tracked him down, which I did, and showed up at fire station. I made a fool of myself, but it was totally hilarious,” said I.

Dina is listening to my story but she’s looking at me with a face of ‘what are you saying?’

“So what happened that the two of you didn’t hook up together?” asked then he.

“The thing is he was dealing with a complicated personal situation at the time, and it totally overwhelmed him.

He didn’t have the mind to be involved with anyone, period. I think it was just bad timing,” I answered.

“I know what you’re referring to and my understanding is that it is under control at this time,” said he.

“I’m really glad to hear that,” I replied.

I felt it was time to shift topic and get Dina back in the conversation when, just as I thought, she dropped the bomb.

She asked a question that, in this day and age, you never, ever ask either a man or woman whom you have just met, unless your goal is to repel them away.

It’s the four-word question that it’s guaranteed to accomplish this and then leave you wondering why there’s no one in your love life.

And that question is…

This guy introduced himself as Stephan. By his accent I could tell he was Latino, which is a minus. Dina is Latina, but for some unknown reason, Latinos are not her first choice for men.

I could tell that she was slowly but surely loosing interest in this guy, so I stepped in the conversation to try to give this guy a break with her.

“So, what are you girls up to tonight?” asked he.

“Nothing much,” I answered. “Hanging out here for food and drinks. But we’re pretty much wrapped up ‘cause she wants to go home.”

“Go home already?? It’s still early!” said he.

“Blame it on her,” said I while pointing to Dina. “I just tagged along for the night.”

Stephan gave Dina a surprised look and she had one of somewhat being embarrassed.

I interfered in the conversation yet again and asked him what he did for a living, with the hope that the conversation would survive.

“I’m involved in different things. But I primarily work 24 hours and have off 24 hours,” explained he.

“OMG!! You’re a firefighter!” said I.

“Yeah, how did you figure that out?” asked he.

“Because I know someone that is one too,” answered I.

“Really? Who?”

“Does the name Brian ring a bell?”

“Of course I do. That guy and I are colleagues. We work together at the same station.”

Oh my, the surfer dude. (Please refer to ‘You Can Be My Hero’ story.)

The one I thought I’d never see again. The one Madeline convinced me to track down and find, and re-ignited my adventurous side. The one that…

Hmm, do I need to re-visit that experience and emotions?

Honestly, I’m not feeling it.

It’s a Friday night and Dina calls me to get a quick bite of food. For some reason I’m not quite in the mood to go out, but because I recently haven’t had the chance to just sit down and chat with her, I decided to go.

I picked her up and we decided on a bar/restaurant that we have visited before and has a good crowd of people (including that of single guys).

We sat at the bar where we ordered food and drinks. We chatted for a while about everything and anything, and got up to date on all that pertained to our lives.

We were pretty much wrapped up for the night when a guy stood next to Dina to order drinks and, while he waited for them, stroke a conversation with her.

This guy looked young, probably in his early 30’s. He was also nicely dressed and well mannered, which in my world translates to like someone that Dina should consider investing time in pursuing.

Problem is, Dina is not easily impressed and has the habit of repelling guys way too quickly. She is aware of this behavior, but keeps doing it. I’ve seen many guys interested in her who, like in my life, disappear never to return.

I see where this is going and decided to intervene before it’s too late. Before this moment, whatever it may be or could be, ends before it even had a chance to start.

et cetera