The New M.E. Generation

‘Hi, how are you?’ read his chat.

‘Fine; thanks. Was about to reply to your messages’, wrote I.

‘Noticed you were online, so thought it was the best way to speak with you, for now.’

This gave me an uneasy feeling. More than misinterpreting what another person might be trying to communicate, I felt I was somewhat spied upon. It’s as if he was purposely keeping an eye on me, waiting for me to appear.

And what does he mean ‘for now’? Sounds to me that he’s going to decide my fate based upon a few sentences.

‘What do you mean?’ I asked him.

‘Your profile needs work. You’re either covering things or don’t want to be so open about yourself just yet.’

I was right. He’s somewhat interested in me, but because my first impression wasn’t that extraordinary to him, he’s going to decide to either continue pursuing me or not right this moment.

Second of all, who the hell are you to judge me, even less over a dating site profile?

I got angry, but I’m not letting it show.

‘I gave this site a try recently. Putting some more time into it is not my priority these days,’ I wrote.

‘If you want to get anywhere with it, you have to.’

Is that so? Wonder if I should mention that I get messages from 20-somethings.

‘How long have you been on the dating scene?’ asked I.

‘7 years.’

Give me a freaking break!

‘7 years??’ asked I.

‘Yes, but on and off. Have had some relationships here and there.’

And they haven’t worked out because:
(a) You’re a dick.
(b) You think you’re God’s gift to the world.
(c) You’re approaching this site as if it was a bride mail-order catalog.
(d) You think women in general need re-working so they can adjust to your mold.

Answer is: All of the above; but especially the last, because I (and women who are very clear of who they are) will not follow your shopping list.

I did that my entire life, living my existence for others or doing what they expected me to do at the expense of losing my self-esteem and sense of who I was. The one who needs to make changes around here is he.

I didn’t respond to his last chat right away, so he realized I wasn’t happy.

‘I’ve used different dating sites throughout the years, but I’m not active all the time.’

Whatever, you blew it. Still no response from me.

‘When you update your profile, let me know,’ wrote he.

‘Yeah’ is all I said.

I don’t (or care to) remember who ended the chat. After that day we never communicated again.

About a month later his profile was closed. I wasn’t surprised or even wondered if he had found someone.

Regarding my profile, still the same as he saw it and with the 100 answered questions.

And the answer to what to do about all this: you have to keep on trying.

I called Madelyn the next day.

“Girl, I’m so proud of you!!” she said excited while clapping her hands over the phone. “What a day you had though. It was quite an adventure, that’s for sure,” she continued.

“So… when are you seeing him again?” she then asked.

“We didn’t agree on anything. To be honest with you, I’m taking a totally different approach with this one, meaning that if he doesn’t resurface again like the others, I’m not going to loose sleep over it,” I explained.

“Seems to me like you gave up on him already,” she added.

“No, it’s just… I don’t know… Let’s say that I will be content for having had the courage of looking and finding him again. It may have all happened in only one day, but the memories will last a lifetime, and that’s fine with me,” I concluded.

A few days later Brian called to invite me to have breakfast at his place. I was very delighted and, this time, the ride to his place was not bad at all.

Once again he did most of the talking, which shifted, again, to that of being divorced. I didn’t mind him saying more than I would; I’ve been rambling about mine for quite too long and felt it was time for me to put it aside.

The conversation was going well until what I had dreaded the most could occur, happened: the bomb got dropped on me (again).

“I am very careful of the women I introduce to my kids,” was the bomb Brian dropped with no idea of the internal turmoil it had created inside of me.

I remained there seated, looking at him, but everything else he said did not register in my mind. It was like a bad dream where you see the other person, but you can’t recall what they said. All I could do to resolve my crisis was trying to define what he meant.

OK, let’s approach this like back in the days during Biology class – let’s dissect it! Then after analyzing and studying the sentence, the next step is to choose the best answer from the ‘Multiple-Choice’ paragraph, which are:

a. Any possible love candidate has got to be too good to be true to impress me and possibly be part of my life.
b. Like the Calvin Klein jeans commercial, ‘Nothing comes between me and my Calvin,’ which in this case, it means ‘me and my kids.’
c. I have no time whatsoever for myself, even less for a relationship, and I’m using my kids as an excuse.
d. No woman will ever be able to win my kid’s heart and, therefore, mine as well.
e. All of the above.

The good feeling I’ve had acquired with my re-encounter with Brian quickly disappeared. The vibe I was now feeling was that nothing was going to happen, not even a friendship.

I mean, let’s get real.

To make relationships of any kind happen, one has to dedicate time to them. Even more, you have to let people into your lives and show them what’s attached to you, even kids, to allow others to see you for what you really are.

On top of that, if you’re expecting a love extraordinaire, I’ll guarantee you that you’re in line for a disappointment because, you know why, no one will ever be good enough for you.

Like the expression in Spanish which wraps this up pretty much, ‘El que mucho escoge, escoge nada.’ (Those who choose the most choose nothing.)

And what’s my answer to this multiple choice? Like option ‘e,’ ‘All of the above.’

et cetera