The New M.E. Generation











‘Hi Johann!! I can’t believe it’s you!’ I replied to the email. ‘Would you believe I have been looking for you? You were nowhere to be found. So glad you reached out to me. What’s going on with you?’

I summarized my life from when I last knew about him until now, leaving all the negative aspects out and concentrating more on how happy I was that we had reconnected.

He replied the next day expressing surprise about my search and was equally happy that he had found me. He was still married and has three children, all pretty much grown up. He is still in the navy and living in the same place.

I got the sense that his life was well and stable, that he hasn’t had that much disappointments or difficult times. It was the same feeling that he used to convey when we used to write each other.

Thinking about that made me feel envious of him. It has been years since I’ve had a happy moment or interesting experience to remember.

He had everything I strived for: a family, home, tranquil life. I have none of that and haven’t had a relationship since becoming single again.

What’s his secret? Why can’t I have a life like that? At least I am glad that one of those who have a good one is he because he deserves it.

He was a great friend before and now knowing that he was actually looking for me makes me feel good. It’s wonderful to know that he’s one of many whom I touched their loved before, never forgot me, and now want me back into their lives.

It’s another validation that this journey of finding myself again has been all worth it. Hey, it’s a work in progress, but can’t wait to get there.

Hopefully now we won’t disconnect again.

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It was an awkward feeling when Jeff arrived at my place. The first time I saw him was at the lounge. I was nicely dressed and put up together.

Now I was in jeans and no make-up; just how I normally hang around my place. He knew what I was wearing, but was still nervous to see him.

I offered to sit out in the patio in two lounge chairs. The night presented itself with a full moon and the weather was just right to do that.

The conversation started with the ‘how are you?’ line, moved to admitting that I was surprised that he had called me (or showed some interest in me), but was glad he was here.

After some time of small talk and the confidence opened up between the two of us, the normal thing was for the topics to get more personal.

I don’t know how it happened, but I started speaking about my current state of my divorce very candidly, up to a point that I really opened up about pretty much about my whole life.

I got sad and even shed some tears. But I felt very at ease saying what was on my mind.

And, out of nowhere, Jeff took my hand and held it. I believe he said something like, ‘don’t worry, things will be fine.’

I thanked him for his gesture. “I don’t know what you plan to do with your situation. But I hope that it gets resolved for the best as well.”

We sat there in the patio for a long time. I remained emotional most of the night, but at least got some temporary relief.

Jeffrey said he would keep in touch with me. I didn’t ask him to explain what he meant by this (and if he actually planned to do so). But, what the heck, can’t complaint.

Even if I never get to see him again, minimizing the pain I was feeling back then, and getting a dose of hopefulness for facing the future was all worth it.

Just think what two encounters with this guy have made for me.

Shoot! If only he wasn’t ‘that complicated.’



et cetera