The New M.E. Generation

It has been a while since I have exchanged communication with this ‘beach guy’.

Ironically his birthday came up for the year, so I congratulated him on his page. He again thanked me, and everyone else who posted something, for the well wishes.

But, he didn’t specify what he did to celebrate. I assumed he spend it with his family at the beach since he’s there every chance he gets.

I believe the next day he sent me a message that blew me away like a storm.

‘You probably don’t know, but I’ve been separated from my wife since the beginning of the year.’

Say what? How did this happen?

I was so shocked about the news I started getting really anxious. More than that he was in this situation, I was overwhelmed at the many people whose relationship had not worked.

There was a time when people were getting married, then having a family, followed by a period of ‘quietness’ were all was fine.

Then the problems would begin or occurrences of bad couple situations. People got separated and divorced, and the end of the relationships would turn out very ugly.

This guy was another one I never envisioned going through this. I was actually envying him because I thought his life was going so well.

The other aspect of his situation that made me nervous was the timing. The beginning of the year also correlated with me facing an unexpected situation that took several months to resolve.

It kept going around my mind and wondered if there was some divine intervention in all this. Is this a signal that perhaps we might get together again? Is he perhaps part of the ‘master plan’ that he talked about that the universe has supposedly designed for me?

OMG! Anxiety rising!

The next day, as soon as I got my day going (breakfast, reading the newspaper), I went straight to my computer. Hope any of those guys I sent a message responded to me. (Anxiety rising.)

Whoa! How many communications have I received? Who are all these guys? How did they get a hold of my profile??

Oh, damn! So that’s what having your profile as ‘public’ means (duh!). What was I thinking? Nothing; it means not really understanding how this dating program works.

And I don’t think any of the guys I sent an email to even responded to me.

Am I reading right? A 23 year old who wants to ‘score’ with a cougar? Is this Jesse by any chance?  (No, thank goodness it’s not!!)

And what is this other? A fifty something guy who simply wrote, ‘Hey hottie!’ Euuu, what is he thinking? It’s the complete opposite from the young one. This one wants to get a ‘young hen.’

Aargh! Help!! This is not what I was expecting. But, I don’t know what I was expecting… Maybe this was not such a great idea.

So, what am I supposed to do now? Guess I should respond? Perhaps delete some of them (like those two before mentioned ones? What’s the protocol?

I don’t think there’s any rule that I should take any immediate action (or is there?). More decisions to make.

I know; I will worry about it tomorrow (or the day after that, or so).

Here’s the thing. I had offered Jay to stay at my place and sleep in the sofa if no affordable hotel was found. But, I haven’t confirmed with him the most important detail of this trip: the ‘yes you can come’ confirmation.

Just thinking about it was still giving me the creeps. I was torn out on what to say. I kept going around it in my mind without a conclusion.

I was trying not to give it too much thought when Jay throws me another curve ball.

“Besides visiting and staying with you, as well as doing some water skiing, I was hoping to visit one of the resort locations up north that belongs to the company I worked for. I heard they have a good water sports program and would like to check it out,” said he.

Wait a second here. Jay staying at my place and sleeping on the sofa has a level of safety. Meaning I can close the room door if hell broke loose, or get him a room at a motel if all else fails.

But going to the resort means one thing: I would be sleeping with Jay in the same bed (or do I? Well, if things don’t go ‘as planned,’ I can always switch to the hotel room’s sofa, if there happens to be one.)

“Is there a problem with that?” asked Jay.

“Going, no; what happens inside the room, yes. I mean, what you are saying is that we would both be sharing the room, right?”


“Yeah, this I was not expecting. I don’t even remember the last time I’ve done something like this, if ever.”

I really didn’t know what to say. I hadn’t given him a definite answer regarding his arrival. But I had offered my sofa for him to sleep. And now he’s adding more ‘activity’ to the itinerary.

In a certain manner, I haven’t said ‘yes’ to anything. OMG! My anxiety keeps rising and it’s getting worse.

I’m still talking to Jay on the phone and he’s waiting for some sort of response from me. “Maybe I can ask one of my girlfriends to come along and get two rooms?”

“If that’s the case, maybe I can find a friend of mine to tag along.”

“It’s just a thought. Please give me some time to think about this.”

“Don’t be scared, I don’t bite,” concluded Jay.

Exactly. I don’t know anything about you. I don’t know what to expect, or not.

Aargh! What I’ve gotten myself into??

Jay gladly gave me his number and I called him at an agreed time and date.

“Hey, how are you?” said he very excited.

“Fine,” is all I could say. “This is very unexpected to me, and quite flattering as well.”

“You shouldn’t be surprised. I think you’re hot.” (Aah, you mean ‘hot’ as in wanting to get me to bed, or ‘hot’ as in being pretty?) “When I saw you having breakfast with Hiio that Saturday morning, I thought to myself, ‘wow, this is a girl I would like to get to know.’”

“Like I said, this is something unusual for me.”

Jay was surprised at my comment, so I had to explain to him about my then current divorce, how many years it lasted, and because I was basically newly single, anything pertaining to dating or relationships had become new again to me.

He shared with me that he could relate to my situation. He once was very much in love with a girl and planned to be married. But her family opposed the engagement and put so much pressure that she decided not to marry. Jay was obviously very much broken-hearted.

“I can understand why my approach is making you uncomfortable,” said he. “Listen, there’s still some time before I possibly make this trip, so just consider it for now.

My plan is to go there, do some water skiing, spend a few days with you and get to know you more. It’s not that complicated.

Like I said, there’s still some time to go, so let’s keep on talking, and discussing it further, all right?”

I was very glad to have had that conversation, although I was still anxious about it.

Yes, keeping up with the conversation is a good approach. He still needs to convince me about his trip and other details called logistics. Meaning, what will actually happen during his time here.

But, really, do I have to be so uptight about this?

Anxiety rising…

et cetera