The New M.E. Generation











{December 2, 2013}   Looking Back 22 – Knowing me

The rest of the day and evening turned out great.

We visited a city I had gotten to know two times before with my friend. I was glad I was again for a third with the person who introduced it to me and helped me create such fond memories.

The location has a colonial architecture and it’s famous for its old style streets, restaurants, and businesses. It’s a tourist location worth discovering.

It was yet another travel back in time filled with nostalgia and mixed emotions.

The situation repeated itself. I was just out of college and had no idea what direction to take. Now I felt old, but still as scared as I did before.

The streets were beautiful and as we walked them, I looked at other couples and families together. I looked at them as if I had never experienced this myself.

I envied them and started fantasizing how it would feel walking with a loved one holding hands under all those lights. He and I would be together for some time and were spending the weekend there. And before it was over, he would propose. I can’t think of another place for that to happen but there.

My friend and I had dinner at the same restaurant we did the last time and it was an unforgettable experience. My trip was going better and better with each day, and it was a true blessing.

On the way back ‘home’, which was pretty late, I asked my friend to drive. It had been a long day and I was tired.

I called the ‘beach guy’ as agreed. He didn’t answer so I left a message stating that I was driving back and I knew it was late, but did so as discussed. I also said that ‘you will probably not head my way tonight’, but hope we could still see each other before my trip ended.

I don’t know why I felt such a detailed message. He had told me he was complicated tomorrow. So it was irrelevant to say again that I hoped to see him. It’s going to sound that I’m desperate and it’s not good.

I keep doing these minor things that scare guys away. I should have just said, ‘Hey, I’m heading back. Call me if you can.’ This way it shows I’m interested in him, but if it doesn’t work out, I’ll be fine with it.

But knowing me, I will always wonder if I did the right thing. Seriously, who cares? This weekend is all about me, not him or any other guy (except the one on the driver’s seat).

Cheers to that!

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I took a deep breath and dialed the number. Certain thoughts kept crossing my mind and taking me back in time. While the call started ringing, it was as if, for a moment, I was that young woman way back that summer.

When he answered, it was as if I quickly came back to reality. Truth is, I thought the call would go to voicemail.

“Hi!” said he very happy, “so glad we are talking.”

“Me too! Wow! Can’t believe this is actually happening.” Now I was really nervous.

“Why do you say that?”

“Because the whole commercial thing was so long ago, and I was in college, and you had your career going. I’m sure because of it you have met tons of people, so it could have gone either way about you remembering me.”

“Of course I remember you! Why wouldn’t I? You were a great person. Besides, I was always accessible to people, including you.”

I almost started crying. It was incredible how all people past and present that have been or are part of my life, agree on what he just said. All except one.

“I remember this from you,” said I. “I always felt that you were genuine, which is actually what I thought about you when I saw you on TV during the casting period.”

There was a brief pause from him. It seemed what I said also touched him.

The conversation covered many topics and took a different turn when it got to one aspect in particular.

“I left home because the entertainment industry has taken a deep downslide. There’s a lot of talent, but not enough outlets for all of them to channel,” said he. “I remember when there was this great time in TV that I was doing so much work. Now you have to leave and search for new opportunities. There is no other choice.

Look at me, at my age, starting over both professionally and personally.”

When he said ‘starting over’, something remarkable happened. For the first time ever, I finally connected with him, meaning, I saw him as the person he really is. In other words, I got him because I am on the same spot as he is.

“Of all the people I’ve known,” said I, “you are one of those that I never thought would be where you are now. I always envisioned something totally different for you.”

The conversation continued longer than I had expected. In between all said I learned that his girlfriend lives back home (that explains a lot) and that he is very faithful to her.

Having said that, should I suggest meeting up? Maybe I should leave that to him.

The conversation came to an end when he got another call he needed to answer. (‘Saved by the bell!’)

We quickly agreed to speak again. And just like that, the conversation was over.

So, what happens next?



et cetera