The New M.E. Generation











After my return home, life went back to normal for me. For Madeline and my friend, not so much.

About a year later, Madeline decided to quit he job. She had mentioned this when I first visited her. She didn’t give me a solid reason for it other than ‘she had thought about for some time and had already made her mind on it.’

I tried to make sense into her, but in her true fashion, there wasn’t anything to make her go back her decision. And by the time she officially confirmed it with me, she had put notice at work and had separated a storage space.

Her mom flew over shortly after and Madeline placed all her belongings in the storage. She was literally living out of her suitcase and with no immediate plan.

She came to my area to leave her car with some friends. She then took off to Europe for a month by herself. Upon her return she was like a gypsy jumping from one place to another, without saying what she would do next.

When I told my friend, it made no sense to him either. He was convinced that something really bad happened with a person or situation that made her decide on something so extreme.

But with Madeline’s close tight persona, the answer to that mystery as of to the why was one I knew would never be solved.

Fast forward another year and my friend’s job contract was coming to an end; he was making the arrangements to stay with his employer and hopefully get transferred to another location.

I don’t know how he broke it to me, but it was during this time that he told me that his relationship was in bad shape.

It caught me by surprise, as he was someone who always managed to overcome any problem. It was a situation that had taken time to develop, which made me wonder why he didn’t share with me when it started getting complicated.

I got concerned for him, so I started calling him more often for support. I knew his girlfriend wouldn’t like it, but he had always been there for me and now it was my turn to do the same.

At that point I had no position about his relationship since I had no details of what had been happening. My only wish was that he wouldn’t get too hurt and whatever concluded would be for the best for both of them.

What I didn’t know was that his so called girlfriend, if that, hated my guts with a passion, to the point that one day she answered my friend’s phone and talked to me with a nasty tone.

I got to know her even nastier side the following week when she called my mobile. Among the things that this primitive-level person told me was that I couldn’t call him because he was ‘her man’ and that ‘his family had no recollection of who I was.’

To which I replied, “if he doesn’t want my friendship, he has to be the one to tell me IN MY FACE. Second, I’ve been in his life way before you starting fucking it up, so I’m not going away any time soon.”

I then proceed to provide such an array of details including full names, addresses, dates and else, that clearly proved that I was more than a friend, I had also been part of his family.

And while I kept on and on, all this low-class bitch could do was gag, as she realized she made a huge fool of herself and eventually hung up.

I was determined to defend my friend no matter what. But in the same fashion as Madeline, something happened to my friend that made him someone unknown to me.

Yep, the people who I always looked up to and gave me the tools to survive were the ones now with such a broken down system, that not even a personal upgrade was to fix them.

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Life for me went back to normal and I followed what I decided upon, which was to close communication with Edward. I would sometimes write a comment on his posts, but no emails or phone calls were made.

I would say at least a year or more went by when I got to see something about him again. It was early in the year and, there they were, the two of them, kissing, at their wedding.

Yep, he married the party chick. It totally took me by surprise, as I don’t recall reading anything about the engagement. People were congratulating him for the good news, so it seems he kept it quiet.

The ceremony was held outdoors in a garden area. In my opinion, both were dressed appropriately, not too much or too under whelmed, but no photos of reception. It seems it was a small and intimate ceremony with only the closest people attending.

I kept looking at the picture when I got an email from the girl who introduced us.

“What do think of Edward getting married?” asked she.

“Hip hip hooray?” replied I.

I really didn’t have an answer for her or me. I was happy for him, sort of, as the questioning about the past resurfaced. It wasn’t really about ‘losing a possible catch’, I was disappointed that other people (guys especially) were moving on, getting married, etc., and I was still single.

Why is it that others are lucky and I haven’t experienced a love relationship with someone else?

Fast forward about another year or so later, and I got to see Edward and entourage with other surprising news, they were expecting a baby.

I again thought to myself, “that could have been me”, but my emotions were really linked to wanting what other people had and wondering if it would ever happen with me.

Some months later a baby boy was born and it was quite cute. It definitely looked like him; if I would have been the mom, I saw how it would have looked like.

I was again sort of happy for him, but not personally that now there were 4 kids altogether. I’ve always wanted to experience motherhood, but one child would be just fine. Raising children that are not mine, I don’t know how I would handle it.

The last, last thing I read about him was that he moved to the west coast to a location that looked very country. Now that’s definitely something that’s not for me. Don’t get me wrong; the place is beautiful, but dealing with cold weather more than half of the year, thank you, but no.

So, what am I feeling now? Relieved. It was now clear to me why this relationship never occurred: I wouldn’t have liked to move, or go through such a huge change, because it would have made me unhappy.

I know you’re supposed to sacrifice for your loved ones, but I did that once, living life for others, but if they don’t make sacrifices for you, an unbalance is created and the relationship suffers.

What if I met someone and I had to relocate again to make it work? Would I let the opportunity pass me by?

Let’s say I will worry about that when it happens (if that) and when I find the right guy (which I will), I know this time around my story will be a totally different.



A couple of weeks passed by after the ‘daughter’ incident and everything seemed to go back to normal, that is, when I stayed away from writing anything on his profile.

I was keeping it low as much as I could and was just putting posts which content was pretty plain and harmless. They pretty much reflected the sentiment of what other people would say.

I could see that there were other females posting, so I thought this all unintended attention would eventually go away. But that’s not what was happening.

I learned through an email of him that the wife and daughter were still wondering who I was. I couldn’t understand why me of all the other women.

But him saying that I was an old girlfriend, combined with my apparent good looks, I was standing out way too much.

To be honest here, I didn’t find myself being above the other women I saw on his profile.

I did make positive comments on his daughter’s photos. She has been blossoming into a beautiful lady and I was happy for him.

He had always been concerned about giving her a stable home environment and the love she really deserved, two situations he felt he didn’t have when growing up.

I know pictures may speak more than a thousand words, but can be easily deceiving, but my feeling was that his daughter was indeed growing up to be what he had worked so hard for.

But my other feeling was that his attention was more devoted to the daughter than the significant other. Mix that with my presence online and his past stories that things between them are not that well, and you have a conflict that all points to him.

It blew out of proportion in such a way that one day I got an email that I knew would inevitably happen.

‘Hey, I am going to unfriend you. My wife has been questioning much about you. Please don’t take it personal. I am still your friend and I hope we continue to be. I’m not cutting ties here completely, just for a while until things calm down. I know you will understand.’

When I read it, I was upset that I was going through this again, but now thinking that I was fed up of being looked at as if I was a bad person who is complicating other people’s lives.

I have arrived to such a point in my life personally and with guys that I really have no patience for situations like this, even when I know what the truth here is.

I mean, I still appreciate and feel for him, but my emotions towards him completely come to a halt. I have been dragging on this situation with him for far too long and it’s time to close this chapter and move on, just like he has done.

No tears, no regrets, no questioning of decisions; just keeping him as part of my past and leaving it there.



After the trip, my life went back to normal. My high school friend and I kept communicating frequently and I never mentioned the other guy to him again.

But, I did exactly what he told me not to: reaching out to the ‘beach guy’ or keeping my hopes up.

It all went back to how he has always behaved; sending only either text messages or emails. If I tried to call, even in the really early morning hours, he would not answer.

Every so often I would get upset and stopped messaging or emailing him all together. He would then re-emerge again and I would listen to what he had to say.

He went even further by sending some mobile photos of him, writing that he was attracted to me, and wanting to know how I was doing.

Instead of ignoring him, I would continue with the conversation and thinking there was still a possibility of anything happening. I kept disappointing myself over and over when I just knew better.

One day my frustration reached its peak and I made the decision to stop contacting him all together. I did this early November.

During Thanksgiving weekend I received a message that read, ‘I will try to make it there early December’.

My thought was, ‘I know it won’t happen’. But then again, maybe my silence had some effect on him.

So, in order to not show too much emotions (which was actually happening), I simply responded, ‘Great, keep me posted’.

More than a week went by and no sign of him, as usual.

Two days before the date I thought he would come, I messaged him. Finally, on Friday morning, he responded. ‘Doesn’t look good. Just sold my home and need to be out next Monday’.

Wow, here we go again. It was no surprise, yet I was pretty upset.

This is not doing me any good. I don’t need to disconnect; I need to take an indefinite leave of absence and detox from him.

My emotional health is really asking for it.



After this glorious event, things went back to what they used to be. We kept seeing each other on the beach and in-between classes at school.

The only thing that changed was that he took me to his apartment a couple of times, but nothing that shouldn’t have happened did. It would be during the daytime and his parents would be around.

I think he gave me a ride home a couple of times after school, but don’t remember going for one at night again.

Eventually I gave up on him and started seeing another guy from school, but I never quite took my eyes off of him.

The last times I saw him was during one of my summer college breaks back at home when I was working in a restaurant as a hostess. Among all that we talked he mentioned he was driving limos to make money.

I got to see him the very last at his apartment. He was meeting with another med student and was checking out a microscope he was thinking of buying. He again treated me very respectfully and nothing evolved from there. After the summer was over we both went back to college and that was it.

I guess that was our pattern of behavior; we would meet, had some sparks that quickly vanished and would loose contact all together for good, until now.

So that’s how is it going to be yet again? Guess so.



et cetera