The New M.E. Generation

After the hurricane period ended and all went back to normal, I also went back to my normal self, including not thinking about this guy. The storm had been a very close call, and people in general were hoping there would be no more activity for the few months left of the season.

Nothing happened, thankfully, and the year ended quietly with the usual celebrations. But then the year started on a sour note: the tragic death of a famous basketball player.

The helicopter he was flying on crashed into some mountains shortly after departing, and everyone on board perished.

Of course, the conspiracy theories about foul play quickly emerged, but I only paid attention to the technical aspects of it. I felt that if this indeed was no accident, the truth would come up, especially having to do with a beloved celebrity.

I thought the topic would be an excuse to touch base with the guy for a few messages. When I sent the initial one I just asked him to give me the mechanical reason that caused the aircraft to fail.

He provided me with an aviation term and included an internet link about the topic. I started reading through the source; my plan was just to get the information that I wanted.

But, as expected, he didn’t stop there. He sent me a newspaper article with a headline making reference that the illuminati was behind this.

“Oh, boy; here we go again,” I said to myself. The remaining of the so-called “light” thing went up in smoke, literally. This guy’s religious fanaticism had gotten worse and I was not having any of it.

Me: “I just wanted to get a technical explanation. Not interested in reading any of this. Besides, it won’t change anything. It’s not bringing the deceased person back.”

He started rambling things about this group that I didn’t care to listen to. I knew where this was going: he wanted to be the one with the “last word”, meaning, position himself as the one who thinks knows more than me, that the one in control of the conversation was him, that me not listening/accepting his views made me a ‘persona non grata’.

I politely replied my same position as before two more times, but he refused to let it go.

Him: “There’s no worse blind person than that who doesn’t want to see or deaf person who doesn’t want to listen. Nothing different. Always the same thing.”

And just like that, the truth about him came out wide and clear: he hasn’t changed who he is or his feelings towards me.

Me: “I listen to what I want to listen and see what I want to see. You don’t tell me what to do with my life. I am very fine with myself. You, on the other hand, still being the same fanatic. Good luck with that. Goodbye.”

Right then and there, I blocked and deleted his contact information. ‘Time to take out the trash,’ said I to myself.

And just like that I felt free, very free. I haven’t breathed like that for a long time. Now I knew that this was the final end and couldn’t be any happier.

You know why he’s still mad at me? Because he doesn’t influence me any more, I didn’t swallow his lies, and he was never able to use me (unlike like he did of banging the bestie and the bitch, all the while these two women still took him back whenever he reappeared).

In other words, he hates the fact that I stood my ground and didn’t let him ‘win’.

As the year has progressed, getting rid of the bad stuff has served me well. Positive things are happening and the future looks promising. The whole experience has taught me that I need to be more confident of myself and that listening to others is not always the best thing to do. And that sometimes what you think you need, you already have.

“Because whatever you want, it already inside of you.” – Frigidaire Tango “Recall

It’s been a while since I last spoke with Ivan and was curious about his well-being.

The last relationships he’s been involved at were really complicated. He was with someone he knew wasn’t the best person to be with and the issues involved would get from bad to worse.

If we ever spoke on the phone he would sound very unhappy and that he just didn’t know how to resolve the problems or even get out of the relationship all together.

He last told me that he and his girlfriend would either give it one more try or break-up all together.

Listening how things were developing, I knew they would stay together. There was something about Ivan that wouldn’t allow him to break away from this bad stuff and start over.

I can relate to that. Maybe he doesn’t want to be alone, doesn’t know or want to deal with his solitude, or that there’s no other choice out there, so might as well suck it up and deal with what you have.

I went through these stages myself and learned to be comfortable with my space with or without someone, and that we need to deal with our issues. But there are times when even doing our best is not enough and we need to conclude what we’re doing and move on.

So I sent him a text message and, to my surprise, got a call back a few days later. His voice sounded way better.

“Hey, you sound good!” said I. “Before you were so down, like you had no idea what to do with that relationship you were involved with. So what happened finally?”

“We decided to give it a try one last time but eventually ended the relationship for good,” answered he.

“I’m glad you did because it was taking a toll on you. Like I’ve told you before, I think you’re a good guy and deserve better. Are you seeing anyone now?”

“I know. Neither of us was happy so the break-up was inevitable. I’m actually seeing someone that I knew from before, but we’re just dating. How about you?”

“No, no guys on the horizon at this time.”

“I’m sure you will meet someone good. You just have to give it time.”

“I hope so. Sometimes I wish I could just go out and have a drink with someone once in a while.”

“I could do that with you now when time allows.”

Well, that would be nice, but it actually happening, I don’t expect it to. With Ivan, like most of the other guys I’ve met, if I don’t make the effort of seeing each other, it will never happen.

But at least the thought and good wishes are encouraging.

And like I’ve done many times before, I’ll just throw it into the universe and see what happens.

et cetera