The New M.E. Generation











The week after the lunch, I reached out to LZ1 as per the usual. The texting continued during the morning commute and work hours, but brief.

Believe I tried calling him during the weekend with no luck. He replied that couldn’t answer because ‘was underneath his car wrenching it with a buddy’. They were to work on it for some more hours and then go eat. Next day, same thing.

Following week I was getting off of work early because of an event that was to cause major traffic jams. Texted if he wanted to meet up with me; he said that ‘was also allowing his employees to leave early although he was staying, and had an event early evening he couldn’t get out off’.

Anyways, my car was giving me trouble and had to get it serviced, which was stressing me out. Had invested in major repairs 6 months earlier and now it had new problems.

He knew about a minor repair around the time I met him, to which he had followed up. But didn’t tell him of this one because his distancing was already happening.

For starters, he was no longer taking the initiative of texting me. Then one day when I took a selfie during my lunch break, instead of replying with the usual words of ‘gorgeous’ or ‘beautiful’ with some cute emojis, he simply said ‘nice!’. That felt like getting splashed with cold water.

The following week he finally underwent the scheduled colonoscopy on a Friday; he had said it was supposed to be on Saturday. His explanation was that ‘it was moved up a day’. His mom was to drive him home.

Tried calling him that night (thinking for sure would get a hold of him), but it went to voicemail. His excuse: ‘he was sore all over.’ As ‘so sore’ you can’t answer your phone??

Tried again next day; same situation. I got upset and left him a message: “Wow, you really meant it when you said that you don’t like talking on the phone!!! Whatever. Bye.” His response was again ‘still feeling pain’. Yeah, like you being a pain in the ass, literally.

Believe another week went by when I last attempted to call him on the weekend. This time there was no response from him in any way. I then knew it was the end of (nothing, I guess).

It was on Monday, a few minutes before midnight, when he decided to finally ‘show face’: “Hi, I’m sorry I have been avoiding you, but I can’t see you anymore. I’m in a bad place in my life right now and I can’t give you the attention you deserve, nor do I want to be in any kind of relationship. I’m sorry I strung this along for two weeks, I thought I would emerge from this one problem, but another has surfaced which is even worse. I don’t feel like talking about it either. Between work and this latest thing it would not be fair to you. You’re really nice woman, attractive and smart. You deserve a lot better than me, that’s for sure. I’m very sorry. Hope you understand.”

I was both upset and not. Was because he turned out to be another coward who didn’t have the balls to have a conversation with me. Not because this repeated facade has become the norm among the men that are crossing my life. The ‘Surprise, surprise’ sarcasm still stands here.

If this text message was to play out in a movie, it would probably go something like this.

I didn’t respond immediately. I allowed myself 2 days to really think it over. Ever heard the expression ‘the quiet before the storm’?

“First of all, that you don’t want to be in a relationship is a lie. You don’t want to be with me. I bet you the little money I have on the bank that the day you meet someone that interests you, you will move heaven and earth to make it work. That you’re going through a bad moment? So is everyone else. The ‘bad timing’ is a fallacy. It’s a cop-out.

Second, it’s an insult that you tell me I deserve better when you don’t know anything about my life to make that statement.

Third, you don’t want to talk about your problem? Fine. Remember my words that one day it will explode on you like a firecracker on a 4th of July.

Fourth, that I’m pretty, etc., is the same thing as getting a consolation prize. You’re using it to try to make me feel better. Cop-out.

Fifth, not answering calls is immature and cowardly. You’re not a millennial and neither am I. Especially sending a message almost at midnight. Face things. Don’t hide. Get updated. Grow up. Another cop-out.

I’m sure that you got disenchanted the day of the lunch. And not giving yourself the chance to see if at least a friendship could happen looks bad on you. Your loss. I’m worth a lot more than you cared to know.

Last but not least, life it’s not just about you, and you, and you. One day you’ll realize what you missed on. You’ll remember me when that happens. Good luck.”

 



I took the courage to finally make the call and sort of hoped it would go straight to his voicemail, but it didn’t. He answered almost right away.

“Hey! How are you?” said he very enthusiastically. I wasn’t expecting such a warm welcome.

It was so unexpected I had no idea how to respond. I took the easy way of instead talking about our lives since we last spoke up to the present.

I let him do most of the talking to gain some time while I organized my thoughts.

When all was pretty much said, I knew it was ‘now or never’ to say what I really needed to.

“Listen…the real reason why I called you was because things did not end the right way and that’s not really how I like things to happen.

I know it has been some years, but I’m sorry for whatever I did to you that probably hurt you. It all happened during a difficult time for me and I just didn’t know how to handle the situation.”

I had just finished my sentence when he quickly responded, “if it was a bad time for you, it was equally for me.”

Wow, now that I didn’t expect! So that’s what’s it came down to. It wasn’t our time. Question is, could it be now?

I felt a huge sense of relief and more of a reason to make an effort to renew our friendship.

The conversation ended well and he said he would call soon to meet up one day. Sounds good to me. Hope he does.



After that phone call that almost ended in disastrous manner, I wasn’t thinking much about Jeffrey. The incident came at a really bad time for me.

Because of what I was going through, my mind and emotions were not coordinated as they should have.

I was very self-conscious of all I was saying and doing. But, really, who cared? I was completely alone and the result of what had happened was due to my newfound inexperience of dating.

On the other hand, what if this cougar actually had a positive effect on this guy? (What?) Yes, let’s think this over.

I did touch a nerve on him, which could eventually make him make a decision on his situation. There’s two options for him: one, leave things as they were (or do nothing about it); two, decided to end the relationship and restart his life again.

Hmm, wonder if I’ll get an answer for that. And that will only occur if he comes again into the picture.

What? You think I should be looking for him? Honestly, right now, this is the least of my concerns.



“So how did you meet Brian?” asked Stephan curiously.

“Well, I was at this event at another restaurant not that very far from this one, and he happened to be on his night off. Long story short, I gave him my number but never heard from him again.

A girlfriend of ours insisted that I tracked him down, which I did, and showed up at fire station. I made a fool of myself, but it was totally hilarious,” said I.

Dina is listening to my story but she’s looking at me with a face of ‘what are you saying?’

“So what happened that the two of you didn’t hook up together?” asked then he.

“The thing is he was dealing with a complicated personal situation at the time, and it totally overwhelmed him.

He didn’t have the mind to be involved with anyone, period. I think it was just bad timing,” I answered.

“I know what you’re referring to and my understanding is that it is under control at this time,” said he.

“I’m really glad to hear that,” I replied.

I felt it was time to shift topic and get Dina back in the conversation when, just as I thought, she dropped the bomb.

She asked a question that, in this day and age, you never, ever ask either a man or woman whom you have just met, unless your goal is to repel them away.

It’s the four-word question that it’s guaranteed to accomplish this and then leave you wondering why there’s no one in your love life.

And that question is…



et cetera