The New M.E. Generation











“Why are we having this conversation again?” asked I. “Why is this such a concern to you?” I gave this guy a very serious look. He gave me a blank stare back and didn’t respond immediately to my inquiry.

It was somewhat upsetting that he was sort of ‘laying the law’ when first, he barely knew me and, second, was trying to convince me that he was really knowledgeable about the topic.

And, besides, if there’s nothing to happen here, why the concern, or is it that? What is it that he’s really trying to tell me? Perhaps warn me?

Is it that maybe he doesn’t want me to have a distraction away from him or it has to do with my age, as in, ‘don’t put your time on something when you don’t have that’, meaning you’re not getting any younger?

“Just saying,” said he. “Don’t you think it would be much easier to find someone locally?”

“Like I told you before, I’ve tried that already and it hasn’t worked out the way I hoped for. I’m not going to stop trying and if going outside the box is a possibility, I will try that too.”

I don’t recall what else went down in the conversation. After dinner he helped me clean up and even sat down to watch TV in my living room in spite of previous his criticism regarding its size.

It wasn’t that late when he told me he had to go, as he had lots of homework for the next day. This sounded like the Cinderella story; what would he turn to when the clock strikes midnight? I wouldn’t be surprised he has other plans, like meeting up with another woman, but I was glad he was gone. The night has evolved as far as it should.

I finished the clean up and went to bed not really reviewing the night. But when I woke up, I felt a huge sense of emptiness and sadness.

I stayed in my bed, laying back, staring at the ceiling, considering the nature of my emotions. I was fine last night and now this.

I know nothing will happen here with this guy, that I need to experience life more, so why these emotions?

Simple, at the end of the day, I’m back where I started with this guy thing, without one.

I guess I already know what will happen next: we might see each other one last time, maybe text or talk a few more until all vanishes into oblivion by itself. I will stop communicating and so will he, and that will be it.

Been there, done that. What am I doing about it? Nothing. Next…!

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“Sorry that my girlfriend did that of pushing you over here,” said I.

“That’s ok. The one I really wanted to talk to is you,” said the guy, who introduced himself as Jesse.

Oh, no, here we go again with the cougar thing. I don’t know his age yet, but, by just looking at him, I knew he was younger than me and not by just a few years.

“So, are you still in college break or what? My girlfriend said you’re like, 21?”

“23. I’m done with college. Now I’m part of the corporate world. How about you? What’s your age?”

“How old do you think I am?”

He took another look at me from head to toe. “I would say no more than 32.”

“Yeah, that’s it. I’m 32.” (What? Thought I would give the real one away?)

But this wasn’t exactly the right move. Because this was not an issue with him, he became more interested in me. And I’m not for some reason.

He kept saying how beautiful he thought I was, and that any man would be happy to have a woman like me (starting with him). Even learning that I was divorced didn’t scare him away.

I couldn’t help feeling flattered by his remarks since you don’t get that every day. But my previous ‘cougar moments’ didn’t lead to anything long-term.

I know one should never use the past as a comparison and that there are positive things that I’ve gained from these experiences.

But now I feel like ‘been there, done that.’ As of today, I am in a ‘happy place’ and don’t feel the need to ‘go on a guy hunt’ yet again, not even for the fun of it or ‘for the love of the art.’

I know I need to let this ‘cub’ go away, but I’ve never done that. Dina and Madelyn have been the experts at this.

Holy, getting rid of a guy! How does it go?



et cetera