The New M.E. Generation











I waited about 2 days and called him before going to sleep. To my surprise, he answered the phone.

Once again, he sounded he wasn’t exactly on this world; it was more like being away on dreamland, but not upset that I called.

“Oops, did I wake you up?” asked I.

“No, I’m in bed relaxing.”

Hmm, it felt very inviting for a moment. Yet, he has always shared his space with all those problematic women, but never with me. I wondered why and couldn’t find an answer.

“All those women you date got you all worn out?” continued I.

“I only date one woman at a time, you know that.”

“Sounds to me like one far too many.”

Ivan didn’t answer. He knows I’m right and I’m sure he wasn’t interested in me giving him a speech yet again about how badly he manages his love life.

“I wanted to call you to thank you for listening to me the other day. I know I got all emotional, but it was all bottled up and just couldn’t control myself.”

“I understand. No worries. Listen, there’s a free dating site you should try.”

“What?? Didn’t you say to me you wanted to take a break? How many women have you met or dated?”

“Just a few, but that was not a recent thing. I really intend to be on my own for a while.”

“At the rate you’re going, next time I speak with you, I bet you’re in a relationship, maybe living with that person, you eloped or moved to the other side of the world. With you, anything is possible.”

“It’s also possible that for once in my life I will finally follow through on what I say.”

“You know what will happen next? I will get into this site you’re talking about and come across your photo.”

“No, it’s not active right now.”

“It’s a surprise to hear that, but a good start indeed. I will give it a try and let you know.”

“You will find someone. Remember, be patient. Everything will be good in the long run. Trust me.”

Trust you when you can’t even do that with yourself? Please, don’t make me laugh! Actually, it’s not a bad idea.

And regarding the site, hey, it’s free. What have I got to lose?

For starters, my dignity and sanity. That can be followed by my lack of patience and sense of lost hope that I will ever meet someone worth anything.

I know Ivan means well, but he’s the last person whom I would take romantic advice.

On that aspect, trust me, I know, plenty.



I turned my chair to face the wall, so no one could see my tears flowing down my eyes. It was one of those moments when not even waterproof make-up could conceal the emotions that were pouring out.

It started getting so bad, I grabbed my shawl and wrapped it all the way to my nose. More than for warmth, the item became my mask and handkerchief.

“This year has been so difficult,” said I. “I’m still with no guy. Every one that I meet isn’t worth anything. This month would have been my 20-year anniversary.

I know the grass is never greener on the other side. But there are times when I just feel that my life sucks and won’t change for the better.

I’m grateful that I have many blessings. But I’m not asking for much. I’m a good person and don’t understand why I’m still single.

All I want is to settle down, have a family, and live a tranquil existence. Why can’t I just get that?”

“You will find someone,” said he. “You have to be patient.”

“How many times you’ve told me that and still nothing? At least you’re always with someone, for better or for worse.”

“That doesn’t mean I’m happy. And, no, right now I’m not with someone. I want to take a break.”

“You always say that too. When I turn around you’re back in being in a relationship.”

“I know; I’m a disaster. But I really want to be alone for a while. When Thanksgiving comes, I’m getting a bottle of champagne and drink it all alone at my place. Not interested in going to any parties or anything.”

“You don’t have to be so extreme. You can celebrate the holiday very low key with people that really care about you.”

“I’m not in the mood to be with anyone. How about you?”

“I’ll be with family. I mean, it’s good, but won’t help much that I’m so sad, angry, frustrated at so many things. I need an extraordinary experience to happen to me that will give me a new perspective and change everything that I am.”

“Things will get better for you.”

“When? I’m tired of waiting. I want it to happen already.”

Ivan and I talked for a few more minutes. It was a brief conversation as usual, but it was the first one that after talking to him I felt some relief.

After hanging up, I turned to face the computer again and luckily nobody saw or heard me while talking.

I quickly ran out into the bathroom to hide and chill out for a few minutes.

I could barely look at myself on the mirror. But turns out using the shawl as handkerchief saved some of my make-up, so I was able to fix it good enough that people wouldn’t notice my tears.

Once back at my desk, I realized I didn’t thank Ivan for listening, or that to remember he had (sort of) promised to meet me one day for drinks.

So, call him again? I’ll drink to that.



So how do I give closure to this experience? I’ve been thinking about it for some time and the answer is simple: keep only the good. Or said in better words, take the bad and make it the opposite.

Yes, I may have talked about my divorce seven times in one day. But each of the guys that have been present in my life have been preparing me for ‘the one’ when he comes. And when it happens, I will certainly get it right.

Yes, I may have allowed a man I barely knew enter my life. But now I know that I am ready to open my heart and love to the fullest once again.

And, yes, I had feelings for a man who I knew living apart from him would eventually lead to nothing. But I took a risk and for two weeks out of my life, I lived them to the fullest.

Lived to learn that, yes, love can happen again when you least expect it.

I may at times cry late in the night over Jay, wonder if he misses my text messages or calls, if he ever thinks about me (and if he does, what crosses his mind?), or anything else for that matter.

When I look back at that first week, that moment when Jay arrived and held my face between his hands and kissed me, is what I will always remember. This is the image that I will forever hold.

Even more, I will forget about anything negative that happened.

Do I have any regrets about it? None whatsoever. Nope.

So, universe, what’s next in line for me? Is the new guy going to be the ‘it guy’ or have the planets not aligned for this girl yet?

Still waiting for some manifestation to occur that might give me an answer. All right, I’ll be patient. I have all the time in the world (well, almost). And you know what?

I feel something really good is headed my way…



et cetera