The New M.E. Generation











The next school day I remember driving around quickly in my friend’s car so I would learn how to get to the university by myself. The idea was to drop him off there and pick him up later when he was done with classes. This meant I had the car all for myself to go to the beach.

The best thing about the beach was that because the sand was so hard, cars could drive on it and not get stuck. It was a surreal moment for me being there. It’s one of those times that later in life you can tell others you did it.

I also got to see my friend’s university. After the situation he went through in high school to graduate, I was glad to see his life now flourishing and having overcome what happened in the past.

So, as agreed, I went to the beach to drive around it for a while and then went to pick him up around 2 p.m. When I got to the parking I noticed many of the cars had a sporty design, with colors that were more associated with a guy. My friend’s was around those lines; dark blue, 2 doors, with a look of a car meant to have fun with.

I wasn’t surprised he chose this one; it was well taken care of and had the features he only needed for that time in his life. Although it wasn’t new, he was the type of person that would always compare price with value, and how it would make his everyday activities easier.

I was like that as well; I liked to buy things that were only necessary and believed they didn’t have to be expensive to be defined of good quality.

I then headed to the students building to find him. As I walked down the hallway I felt the architecture of the school was plain and dull, with not much vegetation. My school’s design was something similar to this, but the many green areas compensated, giving it a more neighborhood feel.

Upon entering the building and walking, I started feeling strange, as in ‘all eyes were on me’. I looked side to side and realized the place was full of men. I couldn’t see one female in all this. It was as if they were looking at me like some strange alien that just landed on this planet.

I started walking faster, almost running. ‘Where’s my friend??’ I thought to myself. ‘I thought the school was co-ed!’

What a relief to find my friend. “Why are there no women here??” I asked him. “All the guys were staring at me as if they’ve never seen one before!”

My friend laughed. “Unfortunately the ratio of men versus women in the field of aeronautics is greatly uneven,” said he. “There are women in this school, but few. And, they’re not that pretty. Actually, they’re nicknamed ‘dogs’.”

“That’s not nice! You all probably feel intimidated by them and just want to put them down. They can’t be that bad looking.”

“They’re not as pretty as you, especially the way they dress up and present themselves. You know how I am, I like them to be feminine. They always wear these sneakers that don’t flatter them. I know we’re in college and the clothes are not that important, but a nice dressed women is always appealing to any guy.”

And as always, my friend found the words to make reason out of nothing. It was also nice to hear my friend tell me that I was pretty. I had an idea how he felt about my looks, but hadn’t expressed this directly to me until now.

He had told me before that I was well-mannered, and would know how to speak and behave in any situation, being it a BBQ or a dinner at the White House. That I was the type of girl any guy would like to take out to anywhere and not end up embarrassing him.

I have agreed with him on my so-called good education, but on the looks was another matter. Then and now I’ve considered myself to be just an average girl. I don’t know if it because I believe that ‘looks come and go’ and what you really are stays, meaning I want people to remember me for who I am, or perhaps I don’t give myself enough credit for always trying to be the best person I can be.

For me, being beautiful starts in the inside. Once you master that, it all shows in the exterior and will be noticed by everyone.

Whatever the reason for not seeing what others do, my looks have earned me some pretty memorable moments, just like what was about to happen next.

Don’t worry, it didn’t get ugly.

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My Senior year was a mix of many emotions. I was proud of myself for getting this far without having resorted to any negative behavior to help me deal with my insecurities I had about myself. I had zero tolerance for drugs and alcohol, and had no interest in even getting close to them.

At home it was just my mom and me. Although I wasn’t happy being there, I enjoyed the alone time I had when my mom was at work.

Although I still had responsibilities, at least I felt some sort of independence and space for myself. All I wanted to do was bring my best in school, graduate and go away.

Many of these feelings still remain with me today. I have become accustomed to my living conditions and like the freedom to do as I want without being judged. I still stay away from anything I believe will be bad for me.

In spite of experiencing way more difficult situations as an adult, I have always known what’s good and bad. I will say I have been very lucky and blessed to never stray.

At school it felt weird not seeing my friend around. I would learn about him when visiting the pharmacy and hair salon. It all seemed he was doing very well, as if the experience of before didn’t have a permanent effect on him.

Ironically, we didn’t write or called each other much that I recall. I would relay a message through his family, which I hoped he would receive.

He moving away was the best thing happening. From my end he looked like a fully developed adult that wouldn’t stop at anything to get ahead.

In spite the distance and lack of communication between us, I didn’t realize how he kept influencing me for the better. He was the best example to follow that you could overcome any situation if that’s what you chose to do.

And now we both have totally distanced from each other by choice. He did it first and I followed when I felt that he became a threat to my emotional balance and wellbeing.

He almost turned my world upside down and I hate him for that, but I didn’t allow it. It was heartbreaking to do, but it was something that I needed to do and don’t regret it.

It has taken me a lot to ‘graduate’ to where I am today. And like when he was my friend, I will continue moving forward, not letting anything deter me in going the distance to reach my dreams.



The balcony had two railings: one facing the street and the other the pool area. The dry and wet areas were quite nice, good enough to hold any major gathering.

“So how many parties have you held there?” asked I.

“I’ve had some, but not what you’re thinking,” replied he. “They’ve all happened during the daytime and quietly.”

“No skinny dipping?”

“No! Don’t know what you’re thinking of me, but I know how far I can go. Besides, I’m renting here with someone else and applying to med school. I don’t want any negatives to affect those.”

Good, he’s being smart and nowadays anything bad eventually surfaces, especially on social media. In my time you could pretty much get away with what you did. Whatever one learned about it was thorough ‘word of mouth’. Depending how old the story was when it reached your ears, chances were the real version was totally different from what really happened.

“What about you? How much do you party?” asked he.

I gave him a puzzled look. “No, not really,” answered I and looked away towards the pool area.

“I don’t believe that. You’re a pretty girl and sure there’s other guys interested in you.”

“No, not much activity on that either.” I would look at him briefly, but quickly turned my sight away. Thinking about my current state of affairs regarding my social life was not something I wanted to do.

“Reality is I leave work late. By the time I get home, eat, shower and watch some TV, the day is gone. Then on weekends you have to take care of laundry or food shopping. I always have something to do.

I try to meet with my girlfriends, but they have their own life and responsibilities, so you do the best you can.”

I was listening to myself talk and questioned who was I really trying to convince here. For better or worse, this is my present situation which is as a result of my own decision of how to live it.

“Why are you looking away making weird facial expressions? Did I say anything wrong?” asked he.

“No, it is what it is.”

I looked at my watch and drank whatever was left of my wine. I knew he had studies to do the next day, so I used that as an excuse to go home. It was the best thing for me to do before I got sadder.

We agreed to ‘keep in touch’ as a way to end the night. At that point I didn’t really care if that happened or not.

I avoided the thought so much, I didn’t analyze whether this date had been good or bad.

Now that’s a first.



I think I finally called Ivan around 11pm on a weekday. Sometimes he does answer and when he does, he sounds like he just got out of hibernation.

He’s in this world, but so tired I can tell by his voice that he wished he were ‘in a place far, far away’.

Well, I don’t blame him. Don’t we all feel this way sometimes?

Starting with me, I’ve thought about this many times. Even some people have encouraged me to do so. They have suggested that I should consider moving to another state and start over.

They all ask me the same question: What is holding you here?

I may not have much of a life here with my so-called job, few friends and family, and almost non-existent social life.

But I’ve made of my space the best thing possible, enough to make my daily time worthwhile without putting too much thought into it.

I won’t deny there are moments when I totally despise every part of it and wonder what my future holds. I also know that others have it worse than me and I have much to be grateful for.

But, I have visited other cities and, for some reason, none have given me that indicative that this is where I should be.

I have made of my current location home and it seems it will be that way for a while. In a weird, inexplicable way, I sort of like it here.

Is it really or is there something else? Am I fooling myself when the real reason behind all this is that I’m scared of making another drastic change?

Not sure. Some years have passed since I became single again and feel pretty good about myself, so why not go for it?

Maybe that extraordinary experience that I’ve been waiting so much for could actually happen soon. And if I leave, it won’t.

Fine, call me a dreamer or whatever crosses your mind. I think it’s not time, not just yet. When will that be, if that?

I’ll just say, I’ll give it some more time.



It was a few days after my last attempted phone call that I get a message that read, ‘Going to meet my wife’s boyfriend. Weird.’

What? I thought this had already happened since it has been almost a year since the separation. I honestly think it’s not the best thing to do, especially after she has been behaving badly with him (well, according to his side of the story).

But knowing how much he cares about his children, he probably wants to have the best relationship possible with the spouse, even it means being in an uncomfortable situation.

My response was, ‘What for? Give her your blessing? Please…’

The ‘beach guy’ never replied to my message, so I don’t know if he disliked my comment or have lost all interest in me (probably the second).

Some days later I was reviewing my profile page and a saw a picture that got me upset.

In it, his wife had her arm around a guy, there was another couple in the middle, then this guy next to a woman holding a dog in her arms.

He had a wine glass in one hand, but couldn’t tell if the other was embracing the woman.

The location was on someone’s house and the mood of the photo was festive, like those you see in a party, and celebrating the holidays.

Wow, this was more than a meeting. This guy actually stayed, had a drink and more, and smiled at the camera like nothing has happened.

The photo caption read, ‘Redefining family and friends.’ It was tagged by his wife, which means they’re still ‘Internet’ connected.

So, what’s the deal here? I thought the meeting was ‘weird’ and that your wife hasn’t been that nice since the whole marriage went down the tube.

I know standing next to another woman holding a dog doesn’t mean anything, but the photo is making me question what kind of person this guy is and how much I thought I knew him.

Sounds to me this is another indicative the universe is throwing at me that I really need to ‘embrace’ the notion that nothing is to happen between us.

And now that the new year is fast approaching, more the reason to consider starting on a clean slate and making some greatly needed resolutions that will lead my life in the right direction.

Thanks universe for trying to have my own ‘planets’ aligned.



et cetera