The New M.E. Generation











{January 25, 2016}   The Ex-Friend 20 – I wish I may

I was really glad that the visit to the elderly couple was over. We were there for about 4 hours and just got to the point I was getting upset.

Don’t get me wrong dude; if you want to visit them, please do so on your own time, not during my birthday weekend. On top of that, you complaint about others using your mom, you, or other people, but you definitely did it with me for this.

The next stop was a flea market in his college town that I had visited during my Spring Break visit. From there we stopped at the beach. It was here where the beach guy called me when I was getting my photos taken (please see the Looking Back story), to which I later answered when we were all sitting in the car. This was the phone call that the guy made the comment that ‘I was with my boyfriend’, to which I replied, “no, he’s not my boyfriend!” in a harsh tone.

I know I shouldn’t have answered that way, especially with my friend behind me, but it was frustrating that my friend was supposedly interested in taking our friendship further and the beach guy was not taking my interest seriously of hopefully taking things further between us.

Once again, I put the incident aside as we were still pending to do the last event of the day, get to another town and have dinner at a restaurant I had been before and always wanted to return.

At the end of the meal, the waiter brought out a dessert with a lit candle on it. I got emotional and tears came down my face before I blew out the candle.

I looked at both my friend and mom, and placed each of my hands into theirs, while thanking them both for all they had done for me the past days.

My friend smiled with joy, but his mom didn’t flinch. Her face looked like she was saying, ‘girl get yourself together’. The mom has always been one who never smiles at anyone or anything, don’t know why. She had a demeanor of someone who had a wall in front of her and showing no emotions.

Whatever the reason, I never liked this angry demeanor of her or whatever happened that made her like that, especially when my friend was now advocating forgiving people or shedding anything of the past that is anchoring you down into moving forward.

This woman was not capable of at least sharing the happiness of this moment or even making the effort of gifting me a smile. It was all about her and her only. I have never done anything to this woman that made me deserve this attitude.

It’s strange to think that as much as we say we will never be like our parents, somehow their character and actions follow us forever, and manages to influence our lives for better or worse.

How is it possible that my friend and I were conscious of the toxicity that we wanted to avoid, but showed signs of repeating the many chapters of others? Karma? The universe playing games?

Don’t know, but I only hope that my friend doesn’t become her. That’s not much to wish for, isn’t it?

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It felt like forever getting to our destination, but it was worth it. It was nice to see my friend’s mom since forever and she was equally happy to see us both.

It definitely had been a long day and as it progressed, I was the one feeling about to crash and he was still wired like the battery character ‘going on and on and on’. What else do you expect after all that sleep that he got?

The next day I rested as much as I could because we were to travel to 3 different locations. We first visited an old couple friend of them. I don’t mind doing it, but felt my friend’s comment of ‘I don’t know when will I see them alive again’ felt a total exaggeration. Don’t get me wrong, but his mom and couple looked pretty good to me, as in that they are going to live calmly and well for many more years.

The other comment that bothered me was that, according to my friend, the children of his mom and couple lied to them. In the mom’s case, when the sister was getting divorced and found herself alone, she pressured her mom to help her, so the mom abruptly sold her house back home and bought the current one living. Turns out later that the daughter wasn’t helping or supporting the mom in any way.

Eventually the mom realized who her daughter really was, a situation my friend had warned the mom for years. On one occasion when my friend was visiting, and because of the hostility between them, the mom suggested she spent the nights somewhere else to avoid a confrontation between siblings. The daughter said that she wouldn’t and when the mom told her he would be staying at the house no matter what, she packed her stuff and moved out.

From what I remembered of their relationship, the hatred was so bad that if the two were together in the same place, chances were that they would get so physical it would require calling the police and a visit to the hospital as to how bad it would turn out.

And according to him, the children of the couple also managed for them to sell the house back home and get an apartment at a senior living facility, don’t know why, but eventually distanced themselves from the parents, leaving the couple very unhappy and confused.

My friend would speak with an angry tone of this and many other situations, as if those who did the bad were ‘on the side of the devil’ and he was the good one.

His other famous expressions about anything that he felt he was right about or turned out just as he predicted were “what did I tell you?? That didn’t happen by chance!!” or “this I know about; that’s why I go to sleep early”.

In spite of all this, I still believed in my friend and in the goodness he had within him and for me, in spite that he was starting to come across as arrogant and hard to deal with, and was still swallowing all the toxicity of his past relationship.

But, I stayed away from analyzing anything too much as I’ve always done with him. After all, it was my pre-birthday weekend and wanted to make of every moment a positive one. And I was with him, my best friend, the one who has gifted me so much. What else could I ask for? What could possibly go wrong?



et cetera