The New M.E. Generation











I repeated the same route as before, except that this time I used the GPS that this guy ‘lend’ me, which made my drive stress-free.

I arrived at the mom’s house a little after lunch time and about an hour before his airplane arrived. His best friend that he worked with at the airline (to which he referred to as ‘his brother, my absolute best friend’) arrived shortly after I did, as he was to pick up the other guy at the airport.

It was nice seeing him again especially after the fun times we had together before. I understood why my then friend felt the way he did about him. It was almost as if this ‘bro’ was the male version of myself. The ‘bromance’ was as strong as my friendship used to be.

The mom had food ready for everyone, so we sat down to eat. The ‘bro’ literally gulped down his food; the mom was really looking forward to seeing his son and just wanted to go pick him up.

I, on the other hand, was very hungry, and wanted to see my friend, but had no intention of eating quickly. There was something within me that told me to slow down, to enjoy that meal, to place myself first.

The mom and ‘bro’ got surprised that I didn’t go with them to the airport. I think I even put a face of ‘it’s not the end of the world if I stay’. It might have been for both of them (mostly my friend), but I didn’t care.

I finished my meal a while later, picked up my plate and washed it. And I didn’t do it because I felt pressured from anyone, it was the right thing to do.

While at that, my friend and else walked in, and he had a very upsetting face. “Why didn’t you go to the airport?” asked he. “I was expecting you there.”

I gave him a blank stare of ‘so?’ and showed no remorse.

Looking back I now realize that I didn’t go for various reasons. First, our relationship had suffered greatly by his own fault.

Second, his attitude of ‘I’m better and know more than you’ hadn’t been sitting well with me for some time. He might think he’s ‘God’s greatest creation’, but to me he wasn’t and didn’t deserve my ‘undivided attention’ that I always had towards him. To the eyes of his mom and ‘bro’ he may still be that, but to me he had become his own worst devil .

Third, I’ve lived my life for others and fulfilling their expectations, including him, and that was no longer the same. Yes, I wanted to see him, but this trip was more about me taking a road trip and possibly having some fun.

But, I just got here and this guy is already giving me an attitude. What next? More religious one-liners that will create a hell on earth during my remaining 24 hours of visiting? Lord, help me!!!

 

 

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Although I didn’t end up doing anything romantic for the weekend, I managed to have fun on my own way.

After the universe intervention inside the store, I spent the rest of the day relaxing at home. I cooked myself some dinner, called a few friends I was pending to do so for some time, and watched a movie on TV. Of course it was romantic, but watched it objectively and let myself dream about my own love future.

The next day (Monday) was a holiday, which made it even better. I rested well, had breakfast and later went to the hairdresser.

One thing I’ve practiced throughout the years is to always take care of myself and do things that help my self-esteem. Even more, it’s another way of expressing myself and continues developing my personality.

Back in the days of my past life, that guy or ‘X’ never liked what I did to my hair. Although I was the one wearing it, I had to get it done the way he wanted it. He would always say, ‘you have to please me’, to which I would reply, ‘and who is pleasing me?’

He would stare at me with a blank face because he was totally moronic and emotionally retarded, and the relationship was all about him. He didn’t care about my feelings or personality.

He wanted me to fulfill his expectations in their entirety and even if I did, it was never good enough. There was still another level that I needed to achieve to make him ‘happy’, which he never was.

So now after all these years on my own, being able to express a part of me is something very powerful. And it will stay as that with whomever comes into my life and wants to be with me.

I also wanted to go to the hairdresser because the weather forecasted cold days this coming week. This meant that if I didn’t take care of it today, I would had to wait for the weather to change again.

I got my hair done and a few days later it got pretty cold. I knew the beach guy disliked the cold weather because it wouldn’t allow him to go ‘topless’ in his car. He would get in a bad mood, so I decided to tease him and have fun with it.

‘Hey, how bad is the weather over there?’ text I.

‘I hate this weather!! Pretty chilly. My nipples are hard, but not all of me.’

‘Shrinkage?’

‘No problem in that department. How’s the weather for you down south? Any activity lately?’

How dare he?? Guess the joke is on me now. I didn’t answer right away, as I was overly upset and wanted to get my thoughts together before I said something very nasty.

‘Guess not?’ asked he.

‘Not answering that. That’s not for you to know.’

‘Right.’

Exactly right. What little emotions I had towards him had just turned cold. Maybe I should wait for the sunnier days to happen before I contact him again, if that.

Maybe that will warm up my heart and look at things differently. But for today, it’s all frozen.



“Why are we having this conversation again?” asked I. “Why is this such a concern to you?” I gave this guy a very serious look. He gave me a blank stare back and didn’t respond immediately to my inquiry.

It was somewhat upsetting that he was sort of ‘laying the law’ when first, he barely knew me and, second, was trying to convince me that he was really knowledgeable about the topic.

And, besides, if there’s nothing to happen here, why the concern, or is it that? What is it that he’s really trying to tell me? Perhaps warn me?

Is it that maybe he doesn’t want me to have a distraction away from him or it has to do with my age, as in, ‘don’t put your time on something when you don’t have that’, meaning you’re not getting any younger?

“Just saying,” said he. “Don’t you think it would be much easier to find someone locally?”

“Like I told you before, I’ve tried that already and it hasn’t worked out the way I hoped for. I’m not going to stop trying and if going outside the box is a possibility, I will try that too.”

I don’t recall what else went down in the conversation. After dinner he helped me clean up and even sat down to watch TV in my living room in spite of previous his criticism regarding its size.

It wasn’t that late when he told me he had to go, as he had lots of homework for the next day. This sounded like the Cinderella story; what would he turn to when the clock strikes midnight? I wouldn’t be surprised he has other plans, like meeting up with another woman, but I was glad he was gone. The night has evolved as far as it should.

I finished the clean up and went to bed not really reviewing the night. But when I woke up, I felt a huge sense of emptiness and sadness.

I stayed in my bed, laying back, staring at the ceiling, considering the nature of my emotions. I was fine last night and now this.

I know nothing will happen here with this guy, that I need to experience life more, so why these emotions?

Simple, at the end of the day, I’m back where I started with this guy thing, without one.

I guess I already know what will happen next: we might see each other one last time, maybe text or talk a few more until all vanishes into oblivion by itself. I will stop communicating and so will he, and that will be it.

Been there, done that. What am I doing about it? Nothing. Next…!



et cetera