The New M.E. Generation











The ‘beach guy’ may be busy with a patient, but did find time to go on vacation for the long weekend, where else to, but the beach. The Bahamas to be exact.

Of all the choices there are, it had to be in the same environment you practically live at every opportunity there is?

Him: “Trip was really good. I’m somewhat sore from the jet ski and a bit burned.” (He has spent so much time under the sun, he mentioned once that he has ‘a permanent tan’. He probably doesn’t even what his real skin color is.)

Me: “My weekend was quiet.”

Him: “Quiet is good.” (What does he mean exactly?)

Me: “Can be, yes.” “You don’t seem the quiet one” (especially after all the activity you probably had on the water).

Him: “Actually, I am.” (I replied with a thinking face emoji.) “Really.” (If you mean never calling, writing, having contact with me, or truly saying what’s on your mind, then I guess you are.)

Me: “Anyways, still busy with your patient?”

Him: “Just left there. But he’s getting better.”

Me: “Maybe you will have time for yourself soon.” (And hopefully me when you finally make it over here?)

Him: “I hope so. These days are too long for old me.” (He then sends a selfie. And, yes, he does look that.)

Me: “You’re not old. Just tired from the day.” (Another vacation perhaps?)

Him: “Ok. Whatever you say. You’re still beautiful.” (Why does he keep saying that? I didn’t even send a reply photo. It’s nice to be told things like this. But when they continue and nothing else happens afterwards, the ‘special effect’ doesn’t last anymore.)

Me: “That’s how life is. Everything changes. I could happily do with less pounds.”

Him: “You don’t look much different from what I remember.”

Me: “If we ever hit the beach together again you’ll see it. Reminiscence the old days.” (Hint, hint…)

Him: “I’m sure.” (Really? When?) “They were good, that’s for sure.”

Me: “Now things are not that easy to make happen. Especially with distance.”

Him: “That too.”

I kept throwing comments at him (especially those that could appeal to his emotions and memories), hoping he would take the bait. But it all boils down to a ‘lots of talk and no walk’ behavior he has always exhibited. In other words, it’s not happening anytime soon.

I know living 4 hours apart from each other is a problem. And I’m not a fan of long distance relationships either. But the ‘what if’ of then and now is still looming over my head.

And so is what the Cuban lady told me when she did the cards reading almost a year ago (see ‘The reading’ chapters under The Ex-Friend story). She correctly predicted that ‘a short guy that I already knew was to come back’.

Upon asking her ‘for what?’, she replied “para comer mierda” (to talk bullshit).

She even went further as to state very clearly that ‘nobody wants anything with anyone; nobody wants to give you anything; nobody cares about anything. To have fun with you and have a good time, yes, anything else, no.’

Meaning, this guy has no interests other than the already discussed ‘booty call’ or any activity that falls under the ‘friends with benefits’ category.

In other words, ‘girl, you’ve been warned.’ Time to pick up the cards and shuffle again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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{February 20, 2017}   The Swipe 22 – Here fishy, fishy

The day after having the odd conversation with Kevin, I decided to send him a text message to thank him for taking the call because I thought it was the right thing to do, and added that ‘I hope to hear from you soon’.

A few days passed by and no answer. Needless to say, I started worrying and wondered if it was something I had said.

Although the conversation mostly centered on him, he did ‘wake me up’ at moments with his questions, such as why I was single (“guys pretty much disappear at the beginning of anything, so not quite sure about that answer. I honestly think they just want to bed me.”).

I believe that I also said that I didn’t exercise as much as he did, obviously, but tried to keep it up, and that if being in shape was sort of a dealbreaker for him, to please let me know. I was also serious when I said that “if you tell me you will call, then do so.”

Yes, I may have sported a strong attitude, but after experiencing the stupidities of the previous guys, I’m definitely not wasting time deciphering someone else’s secret agenda again.

Eventually I send him a message through the dating site. His profile was still active, so when no response didn’t happen either, it got me confused.

I decided to then call and solve the mystery. He once again sounded glad that I did and as monotonous as before.

When asking him ‘are you okay?’ and saying I had messaged him, he said that ‘had been busy with work’ or something like that. It was as generic as moronic.

I decided to leave it as that. About a week later, to my surprise, I get a call from him. “I told you I would call,” said he. (Hip, hip, hooray?) But he made no mention of meeting. So, yeah, nice effort. Still half-ass.

Another day I finally got a reply to my long-lost text. ‘Hi baby how you doing?’ (Baby? Since when??) I bet this was probably intended for someone else. Good luck with that.

How things unfolded afterwards went down like this: he never called again. I was the one doing it. And if we spoke, he never talked about meeting, in spite him saying he did want to.

If I threw the question at him, he always gave me the runaround of ‘need to check my work schedule’ or ‘have to find out when I will be in your area’.

The last time I called him was during Thanksgiving weekend. I thought he would have some free time, but I was wrong.

“I have to work on Friday,” said he. “Ok, but we could meet at night,” replied I.

“My kids are visiting from college and I want to be with them as much as possible,” continued he.

“No problem,” said I in an upsetting tone and ready to hang up, when…

“What are you wearing?” asked he.

“What??” said I in a ‘what the fuck dude?’ mode.

“I want to know what you’re wearing.”

“I don’t do sexting or anything in-between. You’re not the first guy that asks me that,” said I in a ‘go fuck yourself’ tone.

“Because guys want to know. Don’t you want to know what I’m wearing?”

“No,” said I in a ‘no means no’ tone. “I know how this goes. It starts with a phone call, then you want to do photos, next whatever else. It’s not happening!” I was fuming mad, but able to maintain my composure.

Realizing how deep in shit he has gotten himself into, and that I wasn’t going to bite on the bait, Kevin abruptly ended the call. Honestly, I should have been the one to do that. His triathlon experience served him very well here in running fast from the situation.

After hanging up, I figured out why I was feeling weird with this one: he’s Fish #2. What Kevin wanted all along was the same as the first, a booty call. That’s it. So much for the family history and else that I thought made him different.

I immediately blocked him and deleted anything related to him from my phone, just as the other guys before him.

I then allowed myself to feel and think whatever I needed to for 24 hours, 48 tops. I keep what’s important in my mental handbook for future reference. Last step is going back to life as if nothing has happened. This is how I do it.

But the repeated patterns from guys has burned me out and I need a break.

I’m tired of guys with a self-centered attitude; how they over-correct themselves when dealing with their daughter, only to treat other women as if they were disposable; how they will say ‘don’t take it personal’ about anything that they tell you, but ‘I don’t want to hear it’ from you; how they will never admit that they’re wrong or say ‘I’m sorry’; how they don’t see anything wrong about being arrogant, but you ‘living in the past’ is.

I’m tired of being perceived as weak because I’m nice, to then getting my respect when I act (and react) like them.

As the lady in Cuba told me when she read the cards (see ‘The Reading’ chapters in the The Ex-Friend story), “No one wants anything with anyone. Nobody wants to be responsible for you. Nobody wants to give you anything. To get something from you or be comfortable with, yes, anything else, no.”

So what do I feel like doing now? Honestly, swiping left and logging out for a while. It’s probably the best hand to play at this time. Game over.

 

 

 

 



{October 17, 2016}   The Swipe 4 – Getting the booty

I don’t know why, but I kept trying to make some connection with Fish. I guess I was still hung up on the school thing and the interest of reviving some old times. But after a short while of trying, it was already smelling bad.

The stupid excuses, no returned calls, or lack of empathy from his part, continued, and it was all taking a toll on me.

I think at one point I got so insistent with his text messaging that I flat out asked him, ‘are you ever going to talk to me on the phone?’ About a minute later, to my surprise, he finally called.

Not only did the content of his texts that tried to justify his actions were lame, but his voice was monotonous, had a flat tone, and showed no interest towards me.

That conversation was a blur to me. I recall somewhat that he said something to the extent of, ‘I’ve met a few girls on the app, went out with them…’, but that was about it. In other words, he has gone out with other women, although nothing panned out of them, but is not doing anything to try to meet with me.

“Well,” said I, “sometimes one… (I took a pause realizing there was no point with him on what I wanted to say) …just wants to hear the other person’s voice.” I lied. What I actually wanted to say was that ‘sometimes you have a need to talk to someone’. He hadn’t shown any emotions here, and this call wasn’t going to change that either.

Not even one time when I was working on a presentation from home on a Sunday that was really draining. Once again I reached out to him via text (‘I’m about to have a meltdown’) and he just replied like it wasn’t a big deal (‘Take it easy’). He didn’t get the message. He didn’t call either, not even if my life was depending on it.

I then thought that maybe I needed to throw a bone at him, like, making the move of finally meeting.

‘Hey,’ texted I, ‘how about you coming my way and do something?’, to which he replied, ‘Like what?’ (What do you mean ‘like what’?)

I replied, ‘go for a movie, a drink maybe’. ‘I have to check my schedule’, replied he. (Really? Are you so busy you have no time for me?) ‘If you have to think about it too much, then forget it,’ replied I. I felt more like saying, ‘go f#$% yourself’.

Oh, ok, now I get it. He thinks I’m using the invitation for meeting as a coverup, because what I supposedly really want is to have sex with him.

That’s why the women situation doesn’t work with him. He’s not interested in anything other than a booty call. After he goes out with them, and manages to screw them, he then gives them the boot. If he doesn’t get what he wants (sex), he will dump them just the same.

The last I heard from him was when I tried, yet again, on a Friday, to hopefully schedule a meeting.

‘Hey, what are you up to?’ asked I. ‘Hi. I’m (4 hours away) at a trade show,’ replied he. ‘I’m at a booth. Really can’t talk. How are you? I’m free tonight, but where I am,’ continued he.

‘Oh, look; Fish is trying to be funny,’ I thought sarcastically to myself. More like an ass (or donkey), really.

I got so upset I only replied, ‘never mind’, to which he just said, ‘ok’. Zero intelligence from this guy whatsoever. I limited myself to that because I knew that if I let my emotions take control, I was going to say a bunch of things that would be worthless with a guy like him.

The next day, though, I decided it was time to end whatever this all was. I thought to myself that if he was at the booth, then it meant he would be surrounded most probably by his boss and/or colleagues.

I knew calling never worked with him, so I decided to dish out what I needed to say over a text message, his preferred method of communication.

‘I have something to get off my chest. Do you realize that you have never, ever, answered any of my calls, but always have an excuse for not doing so? And you never return them either? And when I’ve texted you that I’m having a meltdown, you showed no sensitivity. I would have rather you not friend me in the app. That’s why I’m single because of guys like you who don’t care about others.’

After I sent the text, I then proceeded to block him. This way he’s totally out of my existence. I started laughing wondering what he’s reaction would be like, especially when I send the message at the worst possible time for him.

A couple of months later, when I was in my social media page, I accidentally saw his name under the ‘People you may know’ option. (That was another thing, he never accepted my friend invitation.)

I checked out his profile and there was this selfie of him standing in front of a monument in some other state I couldn’t recognize and didn’t care to know.

‘Of course he’s alone,’ I thought to myself. ‘What else is new?’ I just sort of chuckled and felt grateful for myself for taking the step of dropping him.

As for him, well, he’ll just continue fishing on the app for more bodies to take. Maybe in the long run he’ll catch one that suits his every need.

As for me, time to swipe some more. Plenty of more fish to go after out there.



et cetera