Failure To Connect 16 – Climate change

About 20 minutes later the storm was over. The sky remained gray, but the wind went away and the water calmed down. The heat came back, though, making the atmosphere feel as if almost no storm had occurred.

We all walked to the boat, which, thankfully, did not suffer any damage. The afternoon was getting late and the guys wanted to get back before sundown (or any other unexpected weather change). So I grabbed my belongings, thanked them both and told Christian we would be ‘in touch’ as a way to keeping the communication open, and gracefully end the day (in case nothing else happened afterwards).

Yes, it has been a strange day and the first of its kind for me. I didn’t know what to make of it. When night arrived I called Dina to share with her the day’s events.

“So, did you two agree on anything?” asked Dina.

“No, it’s just that with the storm, the moment was not actually right to say something. I only told him that I would ‘stay in touch.’”

“Which means…?”

“I don’t know, that I will call him soon, like in a few days or no later than a week, so that he sees that I still have an interest in him?”

“My advice to you, just do what you feel is right to do. If after the few days or week you lost the interest, just don’t call him. At least you got to see him.”

“Yeah, but I don’t know if to call again or not. It was a weird day the way it developed. I can’t really define anything of it.”

“Then maybe you should wait for him to call you. That way you will really know that he still has some interest. I think you are always the one making the effort. How about if, for once, let the other person be the one to follow-up?”

“I know, you’re right. You’re always right.”

“I know,” said Dina in a comical tone. I had to laugh too. Yep, no matter what approach I take with the guys, it always ends in nothing. And maybe it has to do with me always going after the guys.

What would happen if I ignored them for a while? Would it work?

The Week That Was 15 – Going the distance

After Jay left, our correspondence continued and we were missing each other terribly. Saying good-bye to him at the airport was very hard. We kept hugging each and I tried not to cry. I didn’t look through my rear view window when I drove away because I was just too sad.

The waiting for his arrival felt forever and, now that he was gone, my place felt very empty and lonely as before he came. It was as if he had never made the trip.

About two months later, Jay came back for another week that, of course, included more water skiing, but no travel to the resort.

This time around, he got more of a taste of what my life was about. He got to see Dina again, met Madelyn, and I took him to the different places that I usually go out to.

I even told my friends and family about him. I communicated to others that Jay was someone special that was now part of my life, and all were happy that there was someone else to whom I was special too as well.

Jay even expressed for me to go visit him a few months later at the lake community he was living at. This way, I could really get a sense of his life as a whole now that he got to know mine, and as a way to hopefully continue whatever we had going.

Yes, the relationship conversation was again brought up. The original agreement of continuing to see other people, only as friends, and to keep the communication or honesty open, was to stand.

The second time around went equally as good, but as soon as he left, uncertainty about the future about our relationship quickly sink in once again. This was the last time that, for now, Jay could visit me. And even if I did go to Canada, what was to happen between us after I returned home was in question.

I mean, people were happy for me, but everyone was having the same concern as well. They were glad to learn that I had a love in my life, but what were the chances of a long distance relationship of ever working out?

Forget about the mutual feelings and that we were both different from each other in so many ways. The distance factor was one that, in the end, would do just that, end anything.

I’m digesting all this and can’t come to a conclusion. I figured out that, for now, I’ll go visit him, see how that goes, and take it from there.

And, yet again, I’m throwing all this into the universe, hoping it will give me some direction or answer to my uncertainties.

And it did, but not exactly in what I was shooting for.