The New M.E. Generation











It’s Thanksgiving weekend, so I usually take this time to call people I haven’t heard of during the year. Top of list, Ivan, of course. In spite him never calling me, every so often I get this feeling that I need to check upon him.

I know the moment of us having anything is way gone, but I still contact him as an indirect sounding board (or ‘a person you run things by’ – Your Dictionary.com) to prove to myself that, yes, I’m doing fine, and better than other people I know (especially him).

I recently had also seen that he had opened a separate social media profile. There was a photo of him in what seemed a hotel room, which was odd to me. So it got me curious.

I dialed the number and was waiting to get his voicemail, which is what always happens, when he answers.

“Hey Ivan, it’s Emma, how are you?” asked I.

“Hi…!” said he with a tone that he didn’t immediately recognize who I was (am I in your contacts list by any chance??), plus that the top of the world fell on him.

“I thought you wouldn’t take my call, so, this is a first,” said I.

“I’m sorry Emma,” replied he. “I lost my phone once before. And my employer passed away about 2 weeks ago, so I’m out of work. She got really sick.” His tone now was one of being very nervous.

I never asked much about what he did, but my understanding was that he was the personal assistant to a wealthy elderly woman. He lived in a room in the big mansion she had and was allowed to drive the fancy cars she had. He even escorted her to trips.

I always felt there was something awkward here, but, hey, we all got to pay the bills.

Personally, he was always stressed. He had lived in another state before, his family is on the other side of the world, has no relatives here in the U.S., all which gave me a sense that he was very much alone and had no idea how to make his life less complicated.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” said I (referring to the old woman). Him without work? Not so much. He knew this day would come. If he didn’t planned his next move, then he dug his own crave.

“So what happens now?” asked I.

“I don’t know… the family wants me to leave the house immediately… I need to get myself a place to live, a car…” said he like someone who’s still on panic mode.

“Ivan, stop, you’re making me anxious!!!” I got so out of focus, I had to breath slowly to get my mojo back.

Ivan apologized and the conversation continued normal. Among his other comments was that he was planning to go into the financial real estate sector (good luck with that).

I let him do the talking, the reason being that I wondered if he would ask if I was dating anyone. If he does, it means he’s on the same boat as me.

“Well, you read my mind,” said I. “No relationship yet. And that site you told me about, lots of fake users. Very disappointing.”

“I don’t understand. You’re such a pretty woman,” said he.

“Thanks. It’s nice to be told that, but after you move beyond it, there’s not much to look for in guys, unless sleeping with them is fine with you,” replied I. “How about you?”

“I’m going out with a girl from my country. We’re sort of together, but nothing serious. She has helped me a lot with some things,” said he in a tone that he doesn’t even know where he’s standing.

“Sounds to me that you’re with her more for what she’s giving you than your feelings for her,” said I. (And the 5-seconds delay starts now!) He was speechless.

“Like I’ve said before, I don’t know who’s having it worse, you and your bad relationships, or me being alone because guys have turned out substandard,” continued I.

He gave me the usual disappointment sigh and changed the subject by saying, “we should get together and have coffee or something.” (You don’t have a car, remember?)

“You know how long you’ve been telling me that? 4 years. That’s the same time I’ve been living in my present apartment,” continued I. “I haven’t seen you since I moved.”

“Really?? Sorry, I’m not a good person sometimes,” said he.

“That’s not true! I wouldn’t have called have I thought that. You just need to get a grip on your life. Maybe now’s your chance to do that.”

The conversation lasted close to an hour. The next day I called again; he was riding his bicycle (and the wind background noise sounded like that scene in ‘The Wizard of Oz’ where the twister blows the house away) and said that ‘he needed to leave town for a day or so’.

Kudos to him for ‘blowing off some steam’. And like the Wicked Witch of the East, riding fast to Neverland (oops, wrong story) and staying there for a while might be the start of his ‘happily ever after’.

Will I ever call him again? You bet your sweet B I won’t. It’s time to close the book on this one. The End.

 

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{February 20, 2017}   The Swipe 22 – Here fishy, fishy

The day after having the odd conversation with Kevin, I decided to send him a text message to thank him for taking the call because I thought it was the right thing to do, and added that ‘I hope to hear from you soon’.

A few days passed by and no answer. Needless to say, I started worrying and wondered if it was something I had said.

Although the conversation mostly centered on him, he did ‘wake me up’ at moments with his questions, such as why I was single (“guys pretty much disappear at the beginning of anything, so not quite sure about that answer. I honestly think they just want to bed me.”).

I believe that I also said that I didn’t exercise as much as he did, obviously, but tried to keep it up, and that if being in shape was sort of a dealbreaker for him, to please let me know. I was also serious when I said that “if you tell me you will call, then do so.”

Yes, I may have sported a strong attitude, but after experiencing the stupidities of the previous guys, I’m definitely not wasting time deciphering someone else’s secret agenda again.

Eventually I send him a message through the dating site. His profile was still active, so when no response didn’t happen either, it got me confused.

I decided to then call and solve the mystery. He once again sounded glad that I did and as monotonous as before.

When asking him ‘are you okay?’ and saying I had messaged him, he said that ‘had been busy with work’ or something like that. It was as generic as moronic.

I decided to leave it as that. About a week later, to my surprise, I get a call from him. “I told you I would call,” said he. (Hip, hip, hooray?) But he made no mention of meeting. So, yeah, nice effort. Still half-ass.

Another day I finally got a reply to my long-lost text. ‘Hi baby how you doing?’ (Baby? Since when??) I bet this was probably intended for someone else. Good luck with that.

How things unfolded afterwards went down like this: he never called again. I was the one doing it. And if we spoke, he never talked about meeting, in spite him saying he did want to.

If I threw the question at him, he always gave me the runaround of ‘need to check my work schedule’ or ‘have to find out when I will be in your area’.

The last time I called him was during Thanksgiving weekend. I thought he would have some free time, but I was wrong.

“I have to work on Friday,” said he. “Ok, but we could meet at night,” replied I.

“My kids are visiting from college and I want to be with them as much as possible,” continued he.

“No problem,” said I in an upsetting tone and ready to hang up, when…

“What are you wearing?” asked he.

“What??” said I in a ‘what the fuck dude?’ mode.

“I want to know what you’re wearing.”

“I don’t do sexting or anything in-between. You’re not the first guy that asks me that,” said I in a ‘go fuck yourself’ tone.

“Because guys want to know. Don’t you want to know what I’m wearing?”

“No,” said I in a ‘no means no’ tone. “I know how this goes. It starts with a phone call, then you want to do photos, next whatever else. It’s not happening!” I was fuming mad, but able to maintain my composure.

Realizing how deep in shit he has gotten himself into, and that I wasn’t going to bite on the bait, Kevin abruptly ended the call. Honestly, I should have been the one to do that. His triathlon experience served him very well here in running fast from the situation.

After hanging up, I figured out why I was feeling weird with this one: he’s Fish #2. What Kevin wanted all along was the same as the first, a booty call. That’s it. So much for the family history and else that I thought made him different.

I immediately blocked him and deleted anything related to him from my phone, just as the other guys before him.

I then allowed myself to feel and think whatever I needed to for 24 hours, 48 tops. I keep what’s important in my mental handbook for future reference. Last step is going back to life as if nothing has happened. This is how I do it.

But the repeated patterns from guys has burned me out and I need a break.

I’m tired of guys with a self-centered attitude; how they over-correct themselves when dealing with their daughter, only to treat other women as if they were disposable; how they will say ‘don’t take it personal’ about anything that they tell you, but ‘I don’t want to hear it’ from you; how they will never admit that they’re wrong or say ‘I’m sorry’; how they don’t see anything wrong about being arrogant, but you ‘living in the past’ is.

I’m tired of being perceived as weak because I’m nice, to then getting my respect when I act (and react) like them.

As the lady in Cuba told me when she read the cards (see ‘The Reading’ chapters in the The Ex-Friend story), “No one wants anything with anyone. Nobody wants to be responsible for you. Nobody wants to give you anything. To get something from you or be comfortable with, yes, anything else, no.”

So what do I feel like doing now? Honestly, swiping left and logging out for a while. It’s probably the best hand to play at this time. Game over.

 

 

 

 



I’m not quite sure how much time passed after finishing my Kevin research, but we exchanged a few more messages over the dating site before I asked him to give me his number and what would be a good time to call him (“any time is fine with me”, answered he).

Once I got his mobile, I checked it against the one posted on his social media and the white pages to make sure it wasn’t a VoIP number or had a bad history of any kind. All checked fine accordingly.

So I gave him a call that very same night around 9pm. First impressions were that his voice sounded enclosed and nerdy, speaking with such low speed that it made my eyes close after the first few minutes of listening to him.

I would make questions to confirm the information I read online about his family to keep myself connected to the conversation. But when he would start talking again, I had difficulty staying awake, just like it happens in the morning time.

Still, I was able to learn more about him, including that he competed in triathlons and volunteers once a week at the hospital wing his mother helped create.

What didn’t coincide with what I read was that the family’s company was sold as a result of his father’s passing. I didn’t find the specifics of what really happened that prompted for this to happen.

I mean, I know there’s the possibility that the stores were not doing that well. And there has been cases where the family has not been able to keep businesses afloat once the ‘face of the company’ is gone, or simply because the children have been unsuccessful in running it accordingly. Times also change businesses and with that the people managing them.

But the stores still exist and have kept the name. I haven’t seen any of them being closed or read that they’re financially bad. Maybe the family got “an offer they couldn’t refuse” and decided it was best for everyone to part from them?

But instead, Kevin made it sound like that after his father’s passing, and having worked hard in the company for so many years, it was time for him to go another way.

At no time did he mention his brother in all this, which was also odd to me. If this is another example of sibling rivalry in which the main guy told you to go, then go ahead and tell me.

In other words, I’m not a business expert, but if the numbers don’t add up, then that uneasy feeling that you’re not telling me the truth will point straight at you.

The conversation lasted a little over a half hour. Kevin decided to end it because it was almost time for him to go to sleep. Guess what? I’ve basically been there since the beginning of this phone call.

The usual comments of ‘nice talking to you’, ‘looking forward to meeting you’, ‘will call you again’ were exchanged.

But regarding the second one, when he said that ‘I have to see when I will be in your area’, it made him sound like that he had no intentions of making an effort in getting together with me.

He did react positively when I called, but his personality turned dull and boring afterwards. Coming from someone with a family of so much history, I expected a guy with a lot more energy than the one he presented.

And why am I feeling that I’m having a “Groundhog Day” movie-like moment here?

“Life has a funny way of repeating itself.” True, but in my case, it sucks every time it does.

 

 

 



{February 6, 2017}   The Swipe 20 – The basics

I will be honest with you. This swipe thing has not turned out as I had expected. Quite frankly, I think the experience has been worse than in other years.

Before there used to be a level of intrigue as to what would happen next. Now I seem to be waiting (or expecting) for the punch to happen at any moment. It’s not that I’m being negative or setting myself for failure, but it feels as if guys have ran out of ideas and are recycling their old tricks that once worked for them.

Or it can be that women in general, including myself, have smarten up with experience and years, and now catch almost immediately what motives are behind the guy you’re dealing with. In other words, the element of surprise is way gone in more ways than one.

Take for example the next guy I met online. I was just browsing on the other dating site that have been using, when I notice a message received (the generic ‘you’re pretty; how are you?’).

(Note: if a guy gives you his email or phone number right from the start, because they claim that ‘they’re barely on the site’ and will make it easier for both parts to get acquainted, “run, Forrest, run!” The person is either a cheater or a catfish.)

Yes, it’s generic because all guys will tell you this line to lure you in. But once I go past this part and want to get down to the ugly truth, that’s when their facade falls apart.

The main profile photo of this guy wasn’t bad. He seemed tall and lean, mentioned that was in his late 50’s, and physically didn’t look that intimidating, nor someone I would not consider right from the start. The other images were taken from group photos.

Overall the information seemed to be in place, but there was something off with this person that I couldn’t figure out. Even using my photo ID app didn’t give me any results.

I didn’t reply to his message right away. I wanted to be sure if I was to reply or not, so after much analysis, I instead wrote: ‘How do I know you’re the actual person in the photo?’

The guy, which I will call Kevin, replied: ‘Search this name and you’ll see who I am.’ He gave me the full one and I did that while having lunch.

Because I thought my search would be over rather quickly (meaning I wouldn’t like what I found, to eventually deleting his message), I did so during my lunch break. In other words, I was to dedicate the same amount of time that my food needed to be cooked in the microwave, as finding out who this guy was.

Turns out he was more than the real deal. I came across an article about his father’s passing which talked about the elder’s humble beginnings in the community after relocating from NY.

The father had also opened a spirits store that eventually grew into other locations. Although currently still existing, the company was sold after his death. Even more, the guy’s mother founded a charity that raises funds to support a neonatal intensive care unit at a major local hospital.

Although I did find some personal information about Kevin, like the names and ages of his children, and that he had a brother who is (or was) the CEO in the business, I couldn’t find much about him in the present, so I did another search for his professional and social media profiles.

What I found was that there was no main photo on the work one and it stated that he was no longer involved with the father’s company. It seems that he went from a high-level position, to now being on sales for the competition. This doesn’t sound right.

On his personal profile, there were almost no posts or photos of him throughout the years. His amount of friends wasn’t that big either, which also caught my attention. It looked as bare and boring as the work one.

Worst part was that he kept it public and even went as far as posting his mobile number in response to someone else’s post. I may be tech-challenged at times, but this is internet security basics 101.

I mean, how stupid can you be regarding privacy, especially when you’re probably a public figure?

And like I’ve said before, why bother having profiles if you are not going to keep them up-to-date?

The more I thought about it, the less it made sense. For starters, if you’re part of a well-known and respected family that has allowed you to meet many people, why are you using a dating site? You mean to tell me there’s not a single woman that others could introduce to you or you can meet among your many circle of friends, which I assume you do?

Wouldn’t you be interested in having a relationship with someone that has a similar upbringing, values, religion, and social connections? The norm is that you go for what’s familiar to you, not venture into something that’s totally outside the box, unless that’s what you want.

Why would you want to go for the unknown, when the opportunities to meet someone are most likely to be right in front of you?

And why are things always so complicated with me when it has to do with a guy? Is the universe warning me again way ahead that this will be another failure?

Here comes that old feeling again. It ain’t happening.

 

 

 



The last incident left me very upset, but again, I wasn’t letting this ruin my days for long. I instead was taking everything as a lesson, as to how to take control of situations, and not allowing any guys play games with me.

So, once my emotions had come down to normal, I started the third round of looking and swiping. But this time I was also using another website, hoping it would increase my chances of connecting with someone.

Nothing happened the first few days, until I spot a profile on the second site of a former colleague of mine, which I will refer to as Cameron. The username displayed was created combining his first and last name, so I knew this person was legit.

This guy was already working at my current employer when I started, but although we were on the same floor, and sometimes collaborated on projects, I barely knew him professionally, even less personally.

I hadn’t even turn my first work anniversary when the company announced they were ‘making changes’ (or laying off people), and he unfortunately was among those that were let go.

From the time that happened to seeing his profile now, I would say no more than a year had passed, if I wasn’t wrong. So seeing him gave me the impression that he had bounced back at work and life, and was now ready to give love a try.

In spite of all these considerations, I analyzed if it was worth approaching him or not. He wasn’t exactly my type, but felt there could be potential to at least become friends. Maybe someone just to go out and have fun with every so often, or perhaps be a sympathetic ear.

So I went ahead and sent him a message, which read: “Hey Cam, is that you??”

The next day he replied: “I’m sorry, but I don’t remember where I met you.”

To which I then said: “What do you mean you don’t know?? It’s Emma from work!”

“Emma, of course!!”, said he then.

I don’t recall how long we texted before he gave me his phone number, or if it was me the first one that suggested meeting for a drink , but I do recall his comment of, “there is no other way; we have to get married.”

I guess he was trying to find humor in this semi-awkward situation of basically having no relationship at work, to accidentally coming together again, and still being in the dark about each other.

This was the first time that a guy had made such a comment, which really caught me off guard, and made me react with a ‘WTF?’. So instead of freaking out as I usually do when I sense this might be a mistake, I only responded that, “I don’t know about that, but a beer will do for me”.

The next event was that we got to talk on the phone first before meeting (don’t know who called first, but most probably me), as I had to wait for the next free weekend he had without his kids. And he sent me a friend request on social media, to which I accepted.

I took a look at his profile and it was very plain, which stroke me as being very odd. It had only one photo of him with his daughters, a few of himself in other stages in his life, plus other stock images that had nothing to do with him. His online friends were also few.

This made me confused because he worked as a copywriter, meaning he’s a creative person who has good imagination for writing compelling copy for ad campaigns. And when you consider social media, which is the perfect vehicle for people to really speak their mind and express themselves in endless ways, this profile represented a contradiction of what I thought a profile like a person like him would look like.

I even went as far as checking his professional profile and it was equally lacking depth and substance. It only stated the job title, companies worked for, the amount of years at each one, and awards earned. His profile photo was a selfie at a sports game.

There were no recommendations from other colleagues, or bullet points detailing what he did at each position worked. It made me wonder if this is how his resume would look like, and if so, how he has been able to get any job in the first place.

There’s also the possibility that there’s not much activity in his social profile because he might be going through a difficult situation, like a breakup.

I’ve seen it before of others literally stripping their page almost bare of anything related to their past relationship and ‘disconnecting’ for a while, until they felt emotionally ready to go back to the digital world.

Still, I made the effort of not overanalyzing or coming to conclusions too early when we haven’t even gone out together. Unfortunately, from past experience, something have always happened, sometimes even early in the game, that clearly proves to me the whole thing is destined to be doomed.

I know I’m being negative, but I rather be prepared and not have high expectations, than getting hit with a low ball.

The strategy will be this: we will meet for a drink and see how it all goes. Game on!

 



“So,” asked I, “how’s your semester doing?”

“Good, hectic, but good.”

“Well, I appreciate you putting some time aside tonight. Let me ask you, are you still using the site?”

“Ah, no…”

“Too busy, right?”

“Not really what I was expecting. Besides, I’ve met other women outside of it.”

Which means…? That nothing good came out of it, including me? Now I’m not feeling blue; it’s more like a red associated with my body temperature running high. No, it’s not hormonal; it’s being pissed off. My face color was now more intense than the pasta sauce.

“What about you, still looking at profiles of military guys?” asked he.

“Well, yeah. I check out any profile that catches my attention and honestly, some of those are doing just that.”

“Why are you engaging on that when nothing will come out of it?”

“Why don’t you ask yourself that question? You told me that you would leave after finishing your academic year. And you’re also seeing other women. I may not be seriously involved with anyone, but so aren’t you, which makes us the same.”

“But what if you meet someone who’s abroad?”

“If that happens, I will treat as I do with any other situation that I have. I’m not going to discard it from the beginning. If it hasn’t worked with a local guy, maybe in the distance it will.”

Hey, isn’t that what it means to ‘go the distance’?



“You studied journalism and then went to medicine?” asked I in a very contradictory tone. “They’re total opposite careers. How did that happen?”

“Like I said, I’ve always wanted to do many things although my final goal has always been to be a doctor and I know how to get to that, which I’m currently doing.”

I was listening to him, but my mind was wandering back to the past. Truth was, I felt envious of him. It was one of those moments where I felt I wished I could go back in time and experience his life.

I try not to think about it, but every so often I wonder what my life would be today if I had done it all differently. For sure, I wouldn’t be sitting with this guy questioning myself as to what am I doing.

“So, how’s your experience with the dating site?” asked he.

“Well, it’s an outcome that I wasn’t expecting. I’m getting contacted by many 20 and 40-something guys. Barely any in their 30’s.

Those my age look really old or worn out in comparison to me. Then those in their 20’s are good looking, but I want something long term.”

“So why did you agree to go out with me?”

“I just wanted to have an experience just like you. I know this is not to lead to anything. You and I want different things.”

“I plan to keep visiting it. I don’t do it full-time, just when I feel like it. I’m also getting contacted my military guys.”

“You shouldn’t get involved with those,” said he very seriously.

“I have a very good friend who is about to go serve. I know for a fact that they don’t come back the way they were. I respect him, but wished he wouldn’t do it.”

“You know what, everything’s a risk in life. Having a relationship with someone in the service is not the norm and the distance in-between even more. But I do know that there’s no way they could cheat on me and they’re very appreciative of people being supportive of them. Besides, I’m not involved with any one of them right now. Just considering that option if it were to happen.”

“I still think you shouldn’t do it.”

“And how much do you know about having a serious relationship? Have you ever been in one at that level? If there’s someone who has learned about this the hard way is myself.”

Of course, this guy looked at me with a face that he hasn’t been in one. The way he has described his life clearly shows he has concentrated his efforts in his future career.

And talking about what I should or shouldn’t be doing upset me. I’ve lived my life for others and now will do what I think is right for me, and will be responsible for the outcomes that my actions will bring.

After all, isn’t that the way life should be lived?



After sitting down and ordering a drink (a beer because I felt that would be more of a college level thing than wine which is more of an ‘adult’ choice), I decided to put aside the first few details of the night that had bothered me. I wasn’t expecting to be a totally awesome night, but at least one that I wouldn’t later regret.

This guy and I started a conversation and the most obvious topic for me to discuss was his experience with the dating site.

“I’m still trying to figure out why you got interested in me,” said I. “I’m sure there’s other women aiming to have a career like yours in what you’re studying. The school is pretty large overall, so the options are endless.”

“True, but, I’ve always tried to experience many things. I’ve never done only one thing throughout my life,” answered he. “For example, I did my undergrad in journalism and after graduation, I traveled abroad to get exposed to new people and cultures. I wanted to do that before getting totally dedicated to medicine.

Yes, there are girls who want the same goals as me, but they either want a commitment early on or don’t want to get involved at all. Right now I want neither. I’m just experiencing things, that’s all.”

When I heard the part about his travels abroad after college made me feel sad. I miss my college days, but I never had the money to travel for Spring Break or anywhere else after school.

I never really knew what I wanted to do during my first few years after graduating. Sometimes I feel I wasted those years, until deciding to do a Master’s degree. I had this great need to challenge myself and aspire to make something better of my life.

A few years later, and during my first job (in the field I was actually studying), it was when I met my ‘x’.

I know you will probably think, “and the rest is history”. It sure was, but when I look back, I remember achieving positive things, but tangled in-between with these bad memories.

Getting married was definitely a milestone, but the following years weren’t so great. The relationship was difficult and some situations were unbearable to sustain, and my career wasn’t that great either.

I did manage to graduate and achieve other personal things, which I make an effort to keep present for my positive wellbeing.

Then came the divorce and other years of rebuilding, of not knowing how I was going to survive on my own, of was I ever going to find another love in my life.

And there I was, sitting with guy number (what?) that I met online, wondering one thing: what number is he, or life in general, going to pull on me now?



I didn’t give up on my quest of finding a man after this minor incident. It was ironic to think that I wanted to meet a guy contemporary with my age and I was getting messages from 20-somethings as young as 21.

Looking at the ‘Visitors’, some were even as young as 18 and living abroad. Where’s the adult supervision here? For crying out loud, this is a child! Find someone your own age. You have no business in this dating site to begin with.

Let me see what the others look like or have to stay. I know it’s a waste of time even reading the messages. But since I’ve been unlucky with my search, at least feeling flattered for a few minutes it’s worth it.

‘What do you think about dating older men?’ read a message from a 23-year old. Oh, no, here we go again (that’s if I want to).

I checked out his profile and it read that he was doing his post-grad with the goal of becoming a doctor. What, another ‘beach guy’ headed my way? Please universe, not again!

In his main photo he was wearing this huge sunglasses and had very blond hair; bet he’s probably in a fabulous beach. In the second he was abroad. In the third he was shirtless with a beer in his hand, his tongue sticking out, and next to a guy. He was also in great shape and quite tall.

Let me guess, Spring Break with a ‘frat brother’ in Mexico. He definitely knows how to have fun.

I looked at all of them and started remembering my time in college and got mixed feelings. It was good in the sense that I away from home and finally had the opportunity of being myself.

But I didn’t know what I was to do afterwards, mainly because I was in the process of discovering who I was as a person, and had no sense of direction.

It took me a lot of years to get to a place that I was somewhat comfortable with myself and thought I had it all defined when I got married.

The result was that I ended up loosing all that I represented, to the point I was totally clueless about anything when my ‘past life’ ended.

I’ve been regaining my sense of self, esteem, and all that I am about, but have been a long and painful process.

I looked at the photos again and became sad. If I had the chance to go back in time and do it again, would I?

If I could go back to college with the present knowledge I have, yes. Doing it with the ‘blank canvas’ I was, not too sure.

I know that in going back you have your whole life ahead of you, but presently I still have that as well.

So, what am I doing with this one? Am I answering a message of a guy who seems to be the poster child of ‘party central’ or perhaps ‘globe trotter’?

Maybe I should do the same and stick my tongue out at him and this situation.



et cetera