The New M.E. Generation











‘I’m really sorry for what’s happening to you,’ wrote I. ‘I’ve been through it and it’s a difficult process. Is there any chance for the two of you of turning things around with some professional help or something?’

‘No, we’ve tried everything. A divorce is definite. My kids are taking it well. She has moved on with her life already,’ responded he.

Ouch! That’s the same thing my ‘x’ said when he left me. He stated that he had restarted his life and was already dating. He said it with such confidence it made me very upset because he probably was in this ‘singlehood’ thing way before he made his decision.

Reading my friend’s message didn’t open old wounds, but shocked me again how easy it is for other people to end relationships and live ‘la vida loca’ without any remorse. They don’t care about others or the consequences that will bring to them or close ones.

They only think about themselves because they don’t put their emotions into this. It’s not about love; it’s about winning, getting what they want, even if it means running people over.

I may sound judgmental towards a person I’ve never met, but with my experience, I bet you that I’m so right.

So, what am I thinking (or feeling) about his whole situation? I hate to say it, but I’m sort of ‘happy’ that he may become single.

I know it’s not right to feel this way towards others’ misfortune. But after what the ‘beach guy’ and I shared in the past it’s still lingering within me, as there’s something there that needs to be resolved.

What I’m thinking (not feeling) is that perhaps the universe is shuffling things around for this to happen.

If it does, what would I feel then?

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Our conversations continued, which eventually centered on love, relationships, marriage and my divorce.

I learned from him that his marriage was in a standstill. His spouse and he understood that they still loved and respected each other very much, but the way they envisioned the latter years was different for both. It means that they will have to separate for the sake of each other and their family. But, when that decision is to be made is yet to be determined.

“You know, getting divorced sucks,” said I. “As much civilized and respectfully you may do it, or, like in my case, it was the best that could have happened to me, it’s a very difficult process, especially when children are involved.

I know I am in a much better place right now, but I’m still dealing with my recovery, and I will probably do so for many more years.

The circumstances regarding your relationship are your private matter and what you, or both, decide to do is as well. But I will say this; you and I are not getting any younger. Every day, week or month that goes by is like a year of life for us.

If what you are telling me is the truth, then the two of you should part ways and live the life you both deserve. Do it when you still have the time and drive to start over again.”

He didn’t respond to what I told him other than that I was right. And, between you and me, of course I wished he were single again. But, unfortunately, he, like most of the guys I’ve met, has an attachment, or complication.

Darn it, will I ever meet a guy that is hassle-free?



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