The New M.E. Generation











So what happens when a friendship goes wrong?

And I’m not talking about any guy previously mentioned that I’ve tried to do things right.

Believe it or not, I’m referring to my high school friend. Of all people, he’s the one that I felt has betrayed me the most.

So how did it all happened is unclear to me, but will try to figure it out.

Our friendship started during our early teens. My earliest recollection was that he started hanging out with my brother at home. Of all the guys that would come around, he was the only one took an interest in me.

I wasn’t into him in anything at first. With only 13 years, my parents were divorced, my mom went back to work, and I was responsible for many chores at home.

Like all Hispanic cultures, my brother was doing whatever he wanted, including giving attention to his buddies instead of me. Top that with being a freshman trying to navigate school and life in general with no one to lead the way.

My memories included him talking to me every time he would be home, mostly about how I was doing. He seemed genuinely interested in getting to know me and that I were fine. I felt at ease with him and that he wouldn’t do anything to hurt me.

As I later learned, his father had a pharmacy in my neighborhood and that he worked there after school, and the mom had a beauty salon at the building where my dad had his office.

When I had nothing to do, I would walk to the pharmacy with the excuse of having to buy something. I would chat with him for a few and then headed back home. He never got upset with me while there and would always find the time to talk to me. I would later get my hair done with the mom and became a client for several years.

Curiously I never had an emotional interest with him. I never once felt like kissing or hugging him, or display any affection towards him.

After some time of friendship, he conveyed to me very politely that he had some interest in me. I felt very flattered, but never pursued him in any way any more than what we were sharing already.

He respected my way of being, including my feelings towards him, and became the only person I allowed to enter my world as a whole.

He had everything going on for him and I chose not to pursue him romantically. Sounds familiar? Yep, my love/hate relationship with men has run deeper that I thought. And sadly, being then or now, it sure feels the same.

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After some time of sitting in the water, Christian and I loosened up, conversation wise that is. We pretty much talked about the general topics discussed during our first conversation.

But we remained static where we were. There were no hugs, kisses or other display of affections. Smiles and laughter were expressed more as a relief that this moment finally happened.

Also, his buddy was sitting on the boat so, although he was looking away, I couldn’t help but feel intimidated.

Yeah, I did want to show my joy in some way, but something inside of me told me not to. I can’t explain what it was, but I knew it would have been a bad move, especially after my past experiences with other men, plus all the complications I’ve had with this guy to get to this moment.

But as for today, I decided to just enjoy the moment for what it was.

Yep, I guess what we want the most sometimes takes the hardest work. But, did it have to be this complicated? Ah, whatever…

I’m relaxed and still talking to Christian when a ‘higher power’ interrupts the afternoon. I felt a strong wind moving towards us, the sun fading to gray, and the water getting cold.

I looked to the horizon and…what is that? Is that a storm??

No. No! This can’t be happening!!



et cetera