The New M.E. Generation

“All right, just follow me,” Brian said. He explains where he lives, but I can’t recall if I’ve ever been in that part of ‘the city’ in the 13 years I’ve lived here.

I followed him on my car and he takes a route that seemed somewhat long for me. I was hoping I wouldn’t loose track of him because, otherwise, I don’t think I would be able to find my way back home.

After a short drive later and having arrived at his place, I get a tour of his residence (like that of the fire station) in about 15 minutes or less. His apartment is a 2/1, with a kitchen, living, family room and den, with, I guess, about 1,500 sq. ft. My place is a 1/1, which I believe is not bigger than 1,000 sq. ft.

The place looked to me like a bachelor pad; not much furniture, just the essentials, and in need of adding some color to the walls (they’re white) or a design that would brighten it up a little bit.

I’m thinking what palette would look good here when Brian shows me the most ‘colorful’ room of the apartment: the den. This is the one that he calls ‘the petting zoo,’ which houses about five different reptiles, among them a snake and a lizard.

He took one by one out of their boxes and showed them to me.
“Here, touch it,” he would say.
My eyes opened wide and I putted my hands behind my back.
“Oh, c’mon, go ahead, it doesn’t bite!” he continued.
(And what is it actually capable of, if I may ask??)
I love animals like Dr. Dolittle does, but my adventurous side once again disappeared into the horizon.

I finally moved one of my hands and with just one finger, barely touched the creature.
(Yuck! It feels stone cold and rubbery. Is it dead??)
“It’s quite something,” is all I could say.
“Well, they’re really my kids. But I like them, they’re actually cool,” he concluded.
(You can say that again.)

After the mini ‘Jurassic Park’ exhibit was over, he showed me his other new acquisition, a laptop computer. ‘Now that’s something I can put my fingers on,’ I thought to myself.

We sat on the couch and, like with the phone, he showed me all the things it could do. While playing around with it, he also shared with me how he ended up in the apartment when his break-up occurred.

In his case, his ex kept the house and he moved out. It basically boiled down that she stopped loving him. It was exactly like my story, but in reverse.

He expressed that for some time he did miss the house after he left it. The apartment is not even a fraction of the space he had before, but he is comfortable where he is right now, in every sense of the word.

He has let go of the past (including his divorce) and has no regrets. In other words, he is happy and wouldn’t live his life in any other way.

I’m staring at the computer screen but my outlook is different. I’m still missing my former house and not all completely over my divorce.

On the other hand, my apartment is also a fraction of what I used to have as a home, but it’s mine. I answer to nobody but myself and I know I’m now in a much better place than in many instances of my past marriage. I’ve moved on in having no regrets whatsoever about anything and, in my own way, I am at peace with m.e.

Does this mean I’m happy? Um, I think I’m getting there.

At this moment, I’m just that for being here sitting next to Brian.

It’s good enough for now, for today, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I didn’t wake up in such a good mood the next morning. Although I had come to a conclusion about what happened last night, I’m still dwelling on it. I couldn’t get a hold of George or Mark, so I decided to talk it over with Dina over the phone.

“I honestly don’t find anything offensive in what he said. It seems to me that’s how he is and expresses himself,” said Dina. “I also think you’re taking things way too personal.”

“I just didn’t like it, period. I’m having such a hard time dealing with anything related to guys since my break-up,” I told Dina.

“I suggest that, for now, you figure out what you want in regards to him,” concluded Dina.

I ended my conversation with her and just when I’m deciding whether or not to speak to Edward, sure enough he called me.

“Are you still mad at me? I apologize for whatever you’re upset about,” he said.

“My anger has nothing to do with you. This divorce has affected me in such a way, I’ve created a wall in front of me so I don’t get hurt again,” I said.

“Emma, our former spouses left us and we are both carrying a lot of baggage on our shoulders right now,” said he.

“At least you have your kids. What do I have?” I said.

“I love my kids more than anything, but there’s moments when I don’t even have time for myself. What you have is no attachments, a chance to start with a clean slate,” said he.

“I guess…”

“You and I have to give ourselves the chance of being with someone else if that occurs,” said Edward.

“I’m not interested in you right now if that’s what you’re implying,” I answered.

“Are you then asking me to step out of your life?” asked he.

“Just be my friend, if that’s possible,” I concluded.

After this conversation, Edward and I saw each other one more time at another Halloween party at a couple’s house he is friends with. A girl that attended was so all over him, that you could tell, if given the chance, she would have hit the sack with him.

“Tell me what you’re thinking,” Edward would ask me when the girl detached from him from time to time.

“You tell me. What are you going to do about her?”

“I don’t know. After all this time, it’s flattering to get this much attention,” he concluded. (How about taking her to your place and getting it over with, duh!)

Around midnight I sat by myself on a patio chair that gives a view of the house’s whole backyard. I felt traveling back in time to those years when I held the Halloween parties at my former residence. Too many memories crossed my mind and sadness engulfed me. It had been far too many costume changes for me already.

‘I don’t want to feel these sad emotions any more,’ I told myself.

I then looked at Edward. He’s dancing very close with the chick and really enjoying himself, or so he seemed. Um, I could be in her shoes right now.

I then left the party without saying good-bye to anyone. It’s time for me to exit this show and look forward to a new character in my life.

A few hours later I get a response from Erik via three text messages.

“I can see that you’ve been trying to reach me. I should tell you that I met somebody. I think you are very nice and hope that everything works out for you.”

What just happened here? Does this mean I got dumped electronically? Is this a new trend?

I’m completely baffled by this whole thing. I stare at the ceiling totally confused, depressed, sad, angry, and whatever other adjective I could add to it.

I’m having a fit. I need some crisis management.

I decided to call another friend of mine, Valerie. When she gets her nervous breakdowns she calls me.

Getting a hold of her is another challenge. Getting hit by lighting is more probable than her answering the call. She’s also been married three times.

“I know what you’re going through, it happens to everyone,” she says. “Besides, he’s the first guy you meet after the split. Trust me, you will meet many others and maybe one of them will be the one.”

I start feeling a nice groove within me when she drops the bomb.

“And one day, believe it or not, you will have sex again…”

I hear a record scratching in my head.

“Ah, what were we talking about?”

{October 5, 2008}   The Swedish Massage 5 – George

Some time passes without me knowing anything about Erik. I tried calling him with no luck. I then decided to call one of my boys, George, for help.

George lives in Washington DC and we’ve known each other for over 20 years. Our moms have known each other since their childhood. They were the ones who introduced us back home when I will still in school during one of my breaks, considering a career in Communications. At the time George was working in Advertising and them moms thought it would be good for me to have a chat about this with him.

George and I clicked from the moment we met and became fast friends probably because our lives coincided in many things. We are both children of divorced parents; we are inclined to express ourselves creatively like in photography, writing, or drawing. We enjoy comedy movies or other mediums that help develop our creative minds.

We were never interested in each other romantically which allowed us to bond and stay as friends. Our friendship has been so true that we would call each other after bad dates or relationships to seek support and advice. We had the confidence to cheer each other if we accomplished what he called a ‘violá’ (achieving with the other person what one was hoping for), or say straight forward if we knew the other person one of us was with wasn’t worth any of our time and effort.

We also knew that, whatever we decided to do in life, staying in our homeland was not where we could achieve it. The US was the gateway to pursuing our career dreams. George eventually decided to go back to school and study arquitecture. He was accepted in a school in Arizona, got married after graduation and moved to Texas. He was later offered a position in Washington DC and relocated.

In other words, George knows my personality inside and out. He knows where I’m coming from even before I finish my thought. I can’t think of anyone else who knows me as well as him. He has become my unofficial life coach.

“I would hate to be in your shoes right now Emma. Dating is not what it was when you and I were both dating.”

“I was with the same person for 15 years and he was all I knew. I honestly don’t know what to do.”

“All I can tell you is that I know that you’ll figure it out along the way and that you will be just fine.”

et cetera