The New M.E. Generation











After my then friend finally arrived to the Pacific a few days later, I received a call in the middle of the day I believe while at work.

“Hey, I got here safe and sound,” said he.

“Glad to hear. I saw your posts while on the plane” (which I stopped reading at one point because the ‘altitude’ was making me sick).

“Let me give you my phone number. Remember the time difference and that it is a landline, which will make it difficult for us to communicate, but we’ll try whenever possible. If not, emails it is.” He gave me the full info of what I needed to dial since the number wasn’t showing on my mobile.

He may had been tired from the flight, but wasted no time in starting to work as, ‘it cost me about a thousand dollars to get here and need to recuperate’.

Well, hey, had you putted all those endless hours at church into job hunting when you should have, you would be enjoying another type of beach.

He already settled into the room, got the bicycle, etc. It all sounded to me like he was very isolated, but I didn’t thought about that then. He was there because of his own doing.

I think I waited until the weekend to give him a call. I tried calling him and couldn’t connect. Tried several times with no luck and even called my mobile carrier to make sure I was dialing correctly.

I sent him an email telling him about this, and this a-hole in progress responded saying that there was no problem with the number, that I was the one doing something wrong.

He was getting so unbearable again he couldn’t even consider that maybe he gave me the number incorrectly or there was a problem with the phone line.

It was obvious from his reply that he really didn’t want to be there in spite of all the ‘mental jerking off’ he did to convince himself that this was a good thing.

He was using me again to vent off and I still put up with it, even when there was a year contract to go through and anything could happen to him during and after this period. He said he wanted to fly back at least once to see his mom, but that to me sounded like a long stretch.

I kept saying to him via email that his number wasn’t working and he kept insisting he did give me the right one, that I was the one dialing wrong. He kept posting on his social media though, but with the praying hands emoticon always, with the same repetitive messages that ‘all is great with the Lord on my side’.

Question is, as time progresses, what else will you talk about? Probably about the bicycle or how blue the ocean water is.

I wasn’t exactly missing him, but more feeling some envy. It was an extreme change, which is what I was longing for in my life and still do; something I could look back at that made me feel all I’ve gone through these single years have been worth it.

What I couldn’t understand was why wasn’t it happening. I’m a good person and have tried to do everything right, so why nothing extraordinary comes my way? Why does it always happen to others? Will there ever be something more for me? Why does this guy ‘get to have all the fun’?

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Needless to say, our friendship was what everyone would say it would never be: real. There’s always been the notion that just a friendship between a man and woman will never stay like that. But it did.

We both had romantic relationships during high school, to which we respected and supported of. There was never jealously or intervened as to how we should deal with it.

He was aware of some details of the inside’s of mine as I would consult him, and I would because I had confidence he would suggest what would be beneficial for me and not for him. He never once strayed me so I would end up with him.

I showed my respect towards his relationship as well. I wouldn’t ask much about it and as long as I knew it was doing well, I would be the same. Besides, because I felt he was doing right for me, I was confident he would do the same for himself.

We had such a strong bond that even my BF at the time (who all knew each other from school) realized that if he wanted to be with me, he had to accept our friendship. I was never shy of talking about him and with time my BF realized my other friend was no threat.

My BF eventually learned to respect our friendship and even went to him at one time for advice when things were not quite there. Thing was, my BF was away in college and the long distance was obviously distancing us, so my BF started fearing he would loose me.

According to my other friend, my BF went to the pharmacy and asked him to have a private chat. Upon my BF saying about the challenges the relationship was having and me going away, my friend replied with these transcending words: “Don’t pressure Emma too much because if you do, she might slip away like sand between your fingers”.

When my friend told me this story during his last encounters with me, I got surprised to what extent my BF had gone for to not loose me. But as always, my friend was right on point as to how well he knew me.

Even more, he shed light on a personal trait: being pressured too much into something has never worked well with me. I tolerate it, but eventually disconnect or walk away. I tend to avoid the confrontation and if I do, I just explode, and then things get really nasty.

As I have said before, sounds familiar? Why is it that I seem to have forgotten plenty, but some things just remain the same?

Is this good or bad? Don’t know. Maybe it’s a half and half, good when it works on your favor, bad when it doesn’t.

What will I do about it? I’m thinking.



et cetera