The New M.E. Generation

A few days later I accepted his invitation to be his friend. I was still not quite sure about this, but thought it was better to take my friend’s advice to do so. At least I did something I felt it was right to do, not accepting his invitation right away.

If this guy is used to getting whatever he wants, like the chick, you’re in for a surprise with me.

So what’s next? Obviously he will ask me to go out with him and, again, I will wait for a few more day, tell him ‘yes’ and then take it from there.

Patience you, you have to learn from that. The best things in life are those we wait the most or give it its deserving time.

Am I kidding myself? He probably thought he could score a date with me the moment he saw my picture on the site.

Oh, no, what have I gotten myself into? Is there any way to reverse the invitation?

Any one?

It surely was Alex sitting at the window table. “Hi, so glad we finally meet,” said I with sort of a hurried voice due to my fast walking. He looked fine and very similar in person as he does in his profile pictures, which is good to me. No surprises here, which I honestly don’t want at this time.

When he saw me coming in, he had a face of ‘wow,’ but I couldn’t decipher what he was expressing. It was a cross between ‘damn, she’s cute’ and ‘damn, she doesn’t look at all like the person in her profile.’ Hmm, maybe he’s just trying to show that he’s ‘under control,’ like me.

I sat down and quickly apologized for my delay. I don’t think I was that late, but I thought it was the right thing to do. I told him about me walking right by the location and finding myself completely ‘lost in space.’ I had a legitimate reason for what happened, but also thought making fun of my mistakes could ‘break the ice,’ and it did.

Alex totally understood me, as he had a share of unexpected situations in other online dates he previously had, which, according to him, were worse. He didn’t disclose those details at that moment (good move from his part), and I only hoped that I don’t make more and become another one of his dating ‘casualties.’

I slowly, but surely, settled down and started enjoying myself. The conversation continued very easily about our online experiences, followed by more personal subjects, like divorce.

I know this was a topic not to be touched so quickly, but both having experienced so much, the tone did not feel negative or out of place. It actually made us closer together as people.

He and I took advantage of the restaurant promo, which turned out to be great. I was now more concentrated on showing my best table manners and etiquette possible. At moments I thought to myself I was being hard with myself, but I just wanted to get it right, for once.

After dinner, Alex suggested having another drink at a bar about a block away from the restaurant. Good thing to suggest because the night was going well, but bad for my feet as they were still aching.

I think I can walk and sustain the pain for a few minutes. Then, when I get to the bar, find a chair to sit at. If  there’s only one available, he will let me take it. That’s if, he is a true gentleman.

We’ll find out soon enough.

“Hey girl,” said Madelyn, “what story do you have for me today?”

“Dina held a birthday celebration the other night.”

“Yeah…and what else?”

“What do you mean?”

“That there’s a guy intertwined in what you’re about to share with me. Doesn’t it always have to do with a guy?”

“Damn, you’re good,” I said.

“At times I know you better than you know yourself.” (Damn again, she really is that good.) “But I’m always intrigued in knowing the new chapters of your ‘love adventures.’”

“They haven’t exactly been that, you know that.”

“Oh, just tell me about it. I need to have a good laugh.”

“All right, this is what happened…” (I told her the whole story.)

Madelyn laughed hard over the phone. “What Dina did is so her. I would have done the same. So how do you feel about it?”

“I wasn’t happy with her pushing the guy over me. I didn’t go to her birthday with the hope of meeting a guy. I just wanted to have fun and that’s it.” (I took a pause.) “I can’t believe I actually said that.”

“Well, sweetie, you have had quite an overload of experiences one after the other. I think you got burned out and are taking a break.”

“Yeah, I’m emotionally exhausted. I haven’t gone out much lately because I am trying to stay away from situations just like this one.”

“But there’s nothing wrong on what you’re doing.”

“I know, but there are days that I wish I could have a conversation with someone while having my meal besides watching TV. And there are others that I don’t feel like sharing my space with anyone.

My lack of interest for Jesse has nothing to do with his age, or me being a cougar (or not), or doing the right thing or supposed to do. It’s just that I have stopped believing in finding true love all together.

I don’t regret the experiences I’ve had with the other guys in the past. But, in essence, none of them turned into anything worthwhile. So it’s like each moment is a constant repetition of the one before, and, for now, I just don’t want to live them again.”

“Whoa, that’s deep! I don’t recall you ever talking with such a profound analysis. But there’s more to it, isn’t it?”

You’re right about that too, again.

Most of the people in Dina’s group started leaving before the band finished playing their last set. Dina and I were basically the only ones remaining to leave.

I wanted to go home at the same time that she would, so we would accompany one another to our cars. But Jesse asked me to stay and offered to walk me. The other guy accompanied Dina to her vehicle.

I was hesitant of doing that, staying, and placing myself in a situation I knew I was later to regret. But he insisted in such a way with his many ‘please’ that I felt I would have looked bad from my behalf to say ‘no.’

So when the band ended playing and the bar announced ‘last call,’ it was time for me to make it for the night.

I was about to ask Jesse to walk me to my car when he asked me for my number. (Here we go again…)

“You know, I am a very private person. How about if you give me yours?” (What the heck was I trying to say here??)

“Where I come from, that means you will never call me,” said he.

“And where I come from (a.k.a., my own little world in which I gravitate around), it can mean a lot of things (like me finally taking control of this type of situations). I give you my word I will.”

I handed him my phone and he entered his number. I knew he wasn’t happy, but I was. I simply wanted to do what I felt was the right thing to do.

I finally got to my car and said good-bye to Jesse. I even hugged him and thanked him for the good time I had with him. But I knew he didn’t want me to leave.

I can’t deny I felt bad. Why does it always has to be this way, that one person falls hard for another and that other one doesn’t feel the same way?

I was questioning myself if I had made the right decision of not providing ‘too much info,’ but I had to be mature and stand by on the decisions I had made.

So I finally got into my car and left.

This has been quite a night. I have to call Madelyn and tell her about it. I need her review on my moment with Jesse.

And speaking of him, will I really call him? I’ll make that decision after Madelyn ‘puts me on the stand.’

et cetera