The New M.E. Generation

I decided to take the situation further by going ‘live’ with ‘reconnect.’ He suggested talking via the computer, so I thought it was a great idea, even more talking to a fellow alumnus.

We didn’t know what to say to each other once we saw our faces on the screen. Oh, no, this face I surely don’t remember, but he surely did mine (sad…).

“Hey, you look great. In fact, pretty much as I remember you,” said he.

“Thanks, I appreciate it. I try to keep it up.” I told him about my ‘past life,’ but talking to him made me remember myself during those college days. I liked putting myself together as much as possible, something that I’ve continued even more when I became single.

More than making a fashion statement, I know I do it as a respect to myself; that I care about me and to show the world that I didn’t break down.

But I’m still trying to understand his recollection of me.

“I can’t really tell you what it was, but Raad was the envy of other guys for having you. Besides being cute, something about your personality made you attractive to men. Hey, if it wasn’t that I was in a relationship with someone else, I would have probably approached you the minute I learned that you and him were no longer together.”

Wow, those are revealing words to me. I don’t know what to call myself. It’s not cute or pretty (but certainly not ugly), and I wasn’t doing any chasing or considered myself drop-dead gorgeous.

I think what I have inside of me is certainly beautiful, which I hope has translated to the outside. Hmm, maybe that’s what it is. Maybe my inner beauty is the answer to my question, or not?

As I finished my conversation, I started remembering other moments when my so-called beauty came to play. Perhaps I will find some more clues on them?

Let the analyzing begin.

I finally found the courage to call him. I did around late in the evening, thinking he would be done with whatever he needed to do and available. Before I dialed I started getting anxious.

What if he doesn’t answer? I didn’t give him my number, so chances are he will not take the call. Well, that’s what I would do. So if he doesn’t answer, I will try again at another time, like the next day.

OK, here we go…(it’s ringing).

“Hello?” “Hi, it’s Emma.” “Hey, you finally called!” “Yeah…”(Oh no, his voice sounds weird, like, I don’t know, but it is.)

“I don’t know what to say,” said I, “we’ve pretty much said everything through the emails.”

Alex and I talked for a while, basically expanding on what was discussed online. After a few minutes my anxiety started to ease. His voice still sounded weird, but I forgot about that eventually.

Actually, my impression of him remained throughout the conversation. OK, still feeling good about it. So, what happens next after this conversation is over?

It seemed as if he was reading my mind when the next dreaded question was uttered.

“Would you like to finally meet?”

Another week went by and I was pretty much over my short-lived experience with Christian. I had taken Dina’s approach of not letting if affect me emotionally.

But there was a part of me that stayed wondering what finally happened with him. I wanted to give him a call and find out. But, what if he is really not interested in me?

What the hell? I’ll just do it. If he answers and shows no interest in me, I’ll hang up and keep going on with my life.

I’ll just take it as another mindless incident that occurred in my life.

I thought the call would be unanswered and go to voicemail. Instead, it did get answered.

Christian was very surprised and relieved that I had called again. He started talking very fast like his minutes were about to expire.

“You are probably thinking I am the worst guy ever. But I lost my phone, and I know you were going to call me again, and I wish I could have another chance to proof you wrong…”

He just kept going non-stop. I didn’t have to do the talking. He said everything I was hoping to hear and then some. Now I was the one who didn’t know what to say.

“I’m sorry you lost your phone. Yeah, I was wondering what might have happened to you when we agreed to keep in touch,” said I.

“I know, I know. You probably thought I was being rude to you.” (I think you made that clear.)

“I’m not really thinking anything.” (Liar!)

“So, can I make it up to you? Please?”

“Ah, sure.”

“I’m going to be with my buddy on his boat on Sunday. I can pick you up at the marina in the afternoon and go for a cruise around the bay.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“Great! I’ll see you then.”

I made a second attempt to call Christian the following evening, but this time at 9pm. I thought he should definitely be home by now.

I was correct; he did answer the phone.

“Is this Christian?”

“Yeah…” said he with a puzzled tone of not recognizing whom the caller was.

“This is Emma, the girl you gave the number to at the bar recently. Do you remember who this is?”

“Well, hey, yes!” said he with a tone of surprise that I actually made the call.

“So how are you?” I asked.

“Fine…Wow, don’t know what to say.” He was completely blown away. I bet he thought I would never do it.

The conversation was quite simple as it touched the usual subjects of where did you grew up, went to school, marital status, children or not, what do you do for a living, etc.

He came across as having a pretty stable life, considering he was divorced with two kids. But, the way he put it, he was over that part of his life. Even more, he had an amicable relationship with his ex for the sake of the children, was close to them, and was professionally stable.

These were very good pointers for me, which made me interested in hopefully getting to know him more. I decided then to take the first step.

“So I guess we could try setting up a date to meet?” I asked.

“Would like to, but I have the kids this weekend, so it will have to be the next one. I get them every other weekend, but spend some days during the week as well due to sports’ practice. But we’ll definitely talk again next week. Can you call me?”

“Sure, no problem.”

I guess it was not a bad start. But me calling him is sort of strange when he was the one originally with the interest in meeting me. Oh, well, I’ll give it a try. What can I loose?

And talking about trials, wonder whatever happened with Dina and ‘the hand at the thigh guy.’ Hmm.

Time to make another call.

Here’s the thing. I had offered Jay to stay at my place and sleep in the sofa if no affordable hotel was found. But, I haven’t confirmed with him the most important detail of this trip: the ‘yes you can come’ confirmation.

Just thinking about it was still giving me the creeps. I was torn out on what to say. I kept going around it in my mind without a conclusion.

I was trying not to give it too much thought when Jay throws me another curve ball.

“Besides visiting and staying with you, as well as doing some water skiing, I was hoping to visit one of the resort locations up north that belongs to the company I worked for. I heard they have a good water sports program and would like to check it out,” said he.

Wait a second here. Jay staying at my place and sleeping on the sofa has a level of safety. Meaning I can close the room door if hell broke loose, or get him a room at a motel if all else fails.

But going to the resort means one thing: I would be sleeping with Jay in the same bed (or do I? Well, if things don’t go ‘as planned,’ I can always switch to the hotel room’s sofa, if there happens to be one.)

“Is there a problem with that?” asked Jay.

“Going, no; what happens inside the room, yes. I mean, what you are saying is that we would both be sharing the room, right?”


“Yeah, this I was not expecting. I don’t even remember the last time I’ve done something like this, if ever.”

I really didn’t know what to say. I hadn’t given him a definite answer regarding his arrival. But I had offered my sofa for him to sleep. And now he’s adding more ‘activity’ to the itinerary.

In a certain manner, I haven’t said ‘yes’ to anything. OMG! My anxiety keeps rising and it’s getting worse.

I’m still talking to Jay on the phone and he’s waiting for some sort of response from me. “Maybe I can ask one of my girlfriends to come along and get two rooms?”

“If that’s the case, maybe I can find a friend of mine to tag along.”

“It’s just a thought. Please give me some time to think about this.”

“Don’t be scared, I don’t bite,” concluded Jay.

Exactly. I don’t know anything about you. I don’t know what to expect, or not.

Aargh! What I’ve gotten myself into??

Shortly after Jay and I became online friends, he emailed me saying that he was planning to make a trip to a location about 40 minutes away from where I lived to do water skiing, and asked me if I would consider driving there and meeting up with him.

‘You? You have an interest in me? Since when? From what?’ were questions that crossed my mind.

The way I was looking at things was that I just got back from a trip from which I only knew this person for 5 minutes.

Yes, you did help me to finally water ski (and I will always be grateful for that). But how is it possible that in those ‘5 minutes’ you developed some interest in me?

Let’s get real here. Before we became online friends, you only knew me for my first name. That’s it!

All you saw was this girl running around the resort having a good time. I wanted to meet guys, but to just keep them as friends, if that.

‘So what’s is it going to be?’ Hmm, I’m not quite ready to make any quantum leaps at this time. But Jay’s display of attention and interest also intrigues me.

If I say ‘yes’ and meet up with him, I will probably regret it afterwards. If I say ‘no,’ he will take it personally. (I know this feeling quite too well.) I know!

“Jay, I’m sort of seeing someone at this time, and would be unfair to you or this person if I went up to see you.” (This sounds so 3pm soap.) “But would like to continue our online friendship if possible.”

Jay and I kept talking online, but, in the end, he did not make it down, not sure why, but certainly not because of me. Well, that’s what he said, that there had been a change in plans. He probably realized the truth and came up with some excuse himself as well.

But, this was not the end of it. Shortly after telling me he was not going to be able to make it, he said he had another vacation time a couple of months later. And he would greatly want to water ski and spend some time with me, being the second the decisive factor of the trip.

Aah, what? Me over water skiing?

Don’t know what to say…

et cetera