The New M.E. Generation











Another 2 days went by before I got another reply, this time around 4am and still on a work week.

I wondered again if he was getting up or going to bed and what his whereabouts were. In other words, were you at home or, most probably, somebody else’s place?

Back in my days when I was doing my undergrad and living on campus, if you returned very late to your room, it had to be that you were either at the library (that was the main excuse everyone used) studying or writing a paper, or at the computer center.

Yes, I said the computer center. That’s where people went to type their papers before personal ones became a normal thing to have. And the place was open (I believe) until midnight or beyond.

If those 2 locations weren’t it, then it meant you were probably having some sort of relationship with someone else and managed to spend the night with that person. You either convinced the other roommate to go sleep somewhere else, or that other person slept in your bed with the roommate there as well.

Doing the second was no easy task, as having roommates was difficult per se and meant losing more of the little space and privacy you already had.

Then there was the situation if anyone called you. It was one phone paid by many and the calls were usually from parents, family, or significant others living at school or not.

The calls would mostly occur after 10pm as they knew all classes were done for the day, you already had dinner, etc.

But, that was not always the case. If you took the call, you had the misfortune of telling the caller that your roommate wasn’t there and that you didn’t know where she was, either that was true or not.

It was an uncomfortable situation because you always sounded as you were lying and hiding something.

Then there was the task of having to call them back and explain yourself. After saying ‘you were studying’, things would quiet down until the same scenario happened again.

Yes, it was a time that keeping track of others was no easy task, but is it that different now? Not really, except that all devices are personal and mobile, and you have total control in how you manage them.

In a way it’s harder as no one else knows what you’re doing, that is, if you keep it quiet to yourself.

So what am I thinking right now? That he probably had some chemistry with a girl in his biology class and decided to take it beyond the books. After all, he’s young, good looking and has goals for the future. What girl wouldn’t like that?

This got me thinking; this guy got my attention not necessarily for his merits, but because it’s making me remember my time in college.

That was a special time, as I finally got a chance to be on my own and started to discover who I really was, just like when I became single again.

The negative part is the age difference, which is making me feel old, and that feeling is not good at all.

I may have reversed the effects of what I’ve gone through, but there’s no ‘time’ capsule for the other half of the equation.

You have to swallow it no matter what.

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{December 2, 2013}   Looking Back 22 – Knowing me

The rest of the day and evening turned out great.

We visited a city I had gotten to know two times before with my friend. I was glad I was again for a third with the person who introduced it to me and helped me create such fond memories.

The location has a colonial architecture and it’s famous for its old style streets, restaurants, and businesses. It’s a tourist location worth discovering.

It was yet another travel back in time filled with nostalgia and mixed emotions.

The situation repeated itself. I was just out of college and had no idea what direction to take. Now I felt old, but still as scared as I did before.

The streets were beautiful and as we walked them, I looked at other couples and families together. I looked at them as if I had never experienced this myself.

I envied them and started fantasizing how it would feel walking with a loved one holding hands under all those lights. He and I would be together for some time and were spending the weekend there. And before it was over, he would propose. I can’t think of another place for that to happen but there.

My friend and I had dinner at the same restaurant we did the last time and it was an unforgettable experience. My trip was going better and better with each day, and it was a true blessing.

On the way back ‘home’, which was pretty late, I asked my friend to drive. It had been a long day and I was tired.

I called the ‘beach guy’ as agreed. He didn’t answer so I left a message stating that I was driving back and I knew it was late, but did so as discussed. I also said that ‘you will probably not head my way tonight’, but hope we could still see each other before my trip ended.

I don’t know why I felt such a detailed message. He had told me he was complicated tomorrow. So it was irrelevant to say again that I hoped to see him. It’s going to sound that I’m desperate and it’s not good.

I keep doing these minor things that scare guys away. I should have just said, ‘Hey, I’m heading back. Call me if you can.’ This way it shows I’m interested in him, but if it doesn’t work out, I’ll be fine with it.

But knowing me, I will always wonder if I did the right thing. Seriously, who cares? This weekend is all about me, not him or any other guy (except the one on the driver’s seat).

Cheers to that!



et cetera