The New M.E. Generation

{November 13, 2008}   The Bostonian 9 – Road trip

I flew to Boston about a month later. Ross never contacted me again.

On the second day of my visit, Annette and I hit the road to Connecticut to visit our school. Dr. S was expecting me.

I have been contacting him on and off throughout the years, and he’s never been short of encouraging words. In other words, he has never stopped believing in me.

About two hours later in our road trip, we finally got to school and parked on the first spot we found.

We’re here! I’m as excited as the day I first stepped foot on campus. I took a good look at the place. I felt 18 again. I wanted to run across campus just like when I was late for class.

“Let’s go, he’s waiting for us,” I told Annette.

We arrived at Dr. S’s office and he’s on a meeting, so we sat in a waiting area for his return.

About 20 minutes later I see Dr. S walking down the hallway. Our eyes make contact and felt for a moment as if time has not gone by.

It’s him!! I got up from my seat and stroke a ‘how do I look?’ pose with a big smile on my face. I then ran up to him.

“Wow! Look at you!” says Dr. S. He has a face he quite can’t believe that I’m here standing in front of him.

We gave each other a warm hug. I closed my eyes and held back my tears. After all these years, my wish finally came true. I don’t remember the last time I felt this happy.

After the formal introductions, etc., we all then went to lunch.

Conversation during this time revolved around many things: Annette and I being roommates, our days as students, life. My divorce.

Dr. S understands what I’ve gone through. He got divorced once, but now is happily remarried. He knows all about it, he’s been there.

I’m looking at Dr. S and wonder what he is thinking or might be remembering about me.

The last day I saw him I was just a student waiting for life to start. Here I was now, all grown-up and divorced, waiting for life to give me a second chance to make it happen again.

It’s now been more than a decade since I left this place. How much of that then 21-year old Emma is still in me?

The next day I sent an email to my ex-roommate. “I have to tell you what happened to me last night. Call me.”

I met Annette during my junior year in college. I was rooming with this Latina girl who was a senior back then (the one who was dating Mark’s best friend the year we all traveled to Canada) on the same campus apartment.

Annette and I were the most opposite people on campus. But we connected in some unexplainable way. Ever since we graduated, she has never missed my birthdays and has managed to keep in touch with me throughout the years.

My wish to see my advisor was something I wanted to do ever since I left school. Back in those days I had no clue what I was to do with my life, and he (Dr. S) somehow ‘got me.’ He had endless patience and never lost faith in me.

I still remember when he hand me my diploma on graduation day. I shook his hand and hugged him. It was very emotional for me.

“Thanks for believing in me,” I said to him and started to cry. He patted me on my back when he hugged me while trying to hold back tears.

Mark attended my graduation and helped me move my things out of my college room a few hours later. Before I left, I took a last look at the building where I lived and vowed to be back one day.

Many years later I found myself again standing outside a residence that meant everything to me. I’m standing in front of what used to be my home. As part of the divorce, (what’s his name) and I agreed that it would not be sold, and that I would get the share of the property, but I had to move out.

This was the same house I had lived in since I arrived to ‘the city.’ The same place that (him) and I fixed together, were those parties were held. It is where I thought I would live for the rest of my life.

I have been forced to do something I did not want to do.

All my belongings are inside the moving truck, and the driver is waiting for me to lead the way to the apartment I have leased.

I stared at it one last time. ‘You took away all that mattered to me the most, and I will never forgive you for that. But, don’t worry, I’ll be back,’ I said to myself.

Yes, I meant this place and, more importantly, that I would get my life back in such a way he would regret leaving me.

These two events in my life couldn’t correlate even more. I was scared, confused, and facing the world on my own, with no idea of how to tackle whatever life was to throw at me.

I found Dina and Melanie and they’re talking to two guys. They asked me about Edward and I told them he had gone home. The three of us decided to wait some more before finally leaving.

We finally decided to leave some time later, and as we started to walk out the venue, I noticed that the guys Dina and Melanie were talking to are accompanying them.

Well, this definitely sucks!

We all approached Melanie’s car, and before we aboard it, she wonders if we can all fit in it. “Hey, the more the merrier,” I said. I sat next to the door and looked out the window; I’m the only one here with no guy next to me and I feel like an idiot.

When I got back to my apartment, I sat down on the rug at the entrance of my room. I’m still wearing my costume.

It’s past 1am and I’m in desperate need to talk to somebody, but it’s too late to do so. All I was able to do was stare at the ceiling and cry. I was so miserable.

I’m mad at Edward, my life and everything else in between. I don’t remember for how long I sat there.

Some time later I changed my clothes and watched some TV before going to bed. I needed to figure out what to make of this night.

I couldn’t pay much attention to what I was watching, but at around 2am I finally concluded what’s going on with me: I’m not ready yet to get close with anybody or for a relationship. As hard as it sounded to tell myself this, I had to accept that this is my reality.

So what am I supposed to do now? For starters, I need to keep going out and enjoying myself, but without stressing over if I meet a guy or not. Maybe if I just let go of this issue I might actually end up meeting someone. All right, I’ll give it a try.

And what about Edward? I’ll take care of that tomorrow. It has been too much of a freaky night, and early morning, for me already.

I’m wrestling with everyone and everything to get inside the mansion when the rain gets really nasty. I’m trying to reach one of the entrances when I realized security is not allowing people to go inside for being overcrowded. Luckily Edward came out and I recognized him; he’s dressed like a German soldier and had made believe bullet shots in his face that are dripping blood.

I asked him to follow me and we managed to walk around until I found Dina and Melanie. We all hanged out for a while and, like in a horror movie, Dina and Melanie disappeared once again without a trace. The party is about an hour away of being over, so Edward and I decided to dance what’s left of it.

While on the dance floor, this guy that is dressed up as a fireman gets close and tries to dance with me. I politely let him knew that I was with another person and he eventually moved away.

The party ended at midnight. Oddly enough, as soon as it ended, so did the rain.

Because of the amount of people present, Edward suggested waiting for some of them to leave before exiting the venue. We sat on the steps of one of the mansion’s entrances watching people go by.

Little did I know that my hair-raising experience of the night was about to happen.

“Why didn’t you dance with the fireman?” asked Edward.
“Because I’m here with you and would have been incorrect to do so,” I responded.

He then had the costume change I didn’t want to get a ‘treat’ for.

“Is there anyone in your life that puts out your fire?” he proceeded to ask.

I turned my face away from him and grind my teeth. My body temperature rose to a boiling point, turning my skin color redder than that of my costume, and smoke came out of my ears. My costume change then became that of a dragon, ready to shoot fire at him.

“A penny for your thoughts, a dime or maybe a quarter,” he said. “Emma, please talk to me.”

“If you want to sleep with me, why don’t you just say it already Edward?? I’m a very private person and… You know what, I don’t need to be explaining myself to you.” I felt like crying and can’t wait to leave.

“I meant no harm in what I said,” said Edward. “I apologize if I’ve hurt you.”
At this point I’m not talking or looking at him any longer.
“Look, I need to get home; the babysitter is waiting for my return.” Edward said good-bye and left.

I remained seated there motionless, staring nowhere. ‘Why did this happened to me?’ I asked myself. I got up and started walking to find Dina and Melanie. I want to go home.

The next day Steve inquired about me at work.

George had explained to me that his desk and that of Steve’s are closely located to one another. Steve has the habit of speaking to him while sitting at his desk, with his face so close to his work, his voice sounds like he is deep inside a hole.

George is deeply concentrated on a design when he hears a weird voice calling him.

“Oh, George…”
“Do you know where your friend is?”
“Somewhere in the city, that’s for sure.”

About an hour later…
“Has your friend called?”
“No, but I’m sure she’s just fine.”
“Just checking…”
“I appreciate your interest Steve.”
“Any time.”

About another hour later…
“Do you know anything about your friend?”
“No, Steve, but I assure you you’ll be the first to know when that happens.”
“Please make sure you tell me.”
“I’ll hold your word on that.”

When George and I are heading home, he tells me the Steve story, and I’m amused at my 15 minutes of fame.

“Emma, you don’t realize it, but you are a very beautiful person in every sense of the word. That guy left you because he couldn’t appreciate you for what you really are.

There is a reason why this all happened. I can’t answer that for you, but what I can surely say is that you deserve better than him.

I know there’s so much for you out there and that, one way or the other, you’ll get where you need to go.”

I started crying and turned my face to the window so he can’t see me doing so. “I know, George, I know.”

et cetera