The New M.E. Generation

It’s been a while since I last spoke with Ivan, so I decided to give him a call.

I know it’s basically a waste of time with him. He’s another one of those whom I call and never answers it, no matter what time I do.

Most of the time he eventually calls back, but when he does, he’s either in a relationship or out of it, swearing to me he doesn’t want to be with anyone, period.

He always says he will call me to have a drink, just as friends, which he has been telling me since forever.
Reality is he stays single for a while, but when he starts feeling alone, he gets involved with someone, even when knowing he’s not ready for it.

Then the relationship gets really complicated, like cheating, nasty break-ups, reconciliations, more break-ups, and so on until it finally ends worst than the sinking of the Titanic.

Yep, he’s one of those people that are attracted to melodrama and disfunctionality. Hey, I may have been full of that at another time in my life, but if we had gotten involved romantically, I’m sure it would have progressed in a more civilized manner.

The other sad part about him is that I’ve offered my friendship to him repeatedly, but he doesn’t take it.

He’s the type of person that surrounds itself with bad vibe that doesn’t allow him to get beyond that negative funk he’s stuck at. It’s like he actually enjoys being in that mode.

Again, my life is not any better than many, but it sure is way more than his, that is, emotionally. And I bet you I’m one of the few, maybe the only, who is willing to be a true companion to him with no expectations.

Even sadder, I think he’s genuinely a good person and deserves better. But this is how he’s handling his romances when he knows damn well they’re a disaster and needs to correct this behavior.

I won’t deny feeling sorry for him, but when I compare his relationships to my current state of affairs (or lack of thereof), I actually feel good about myself.

I do get frustrated for not having a relationship all these past years and that most guys met have been almost not worth my efforts, but I’ve certainly evolved (a lot!), and feel closer every day of reaching that much needed maturity that will allow me to have a successful relationship.

It has been a crazy ride, but the final destination doesn’t feel that distant away any longer.

To my surprise, the guy responded to my emails and finally gave me his name, Alex. He also agreed with me about being friends first and keeping it if nothing else evolved. “A friendship always remains,” is what he said.

Hmm, deep thought. Wow, sounds I came across somebody with intelligence. Yep, he’s definitely someone up my alley. Someone that maybe I’ll finally find what I’m looking for.

Why didn’t I thought about it before, establishing a friendship? Duh, there was no chance at that. Either I clung to the guys because I needed to fill an emotional void, or the guys just wanted to have fun, or had no interest in getting involved for whatever reason. There was no chance of anything serious because the foundation was never laid.

And why should this guy be any different? For starters, at least we’re on the same page, and have agreed to continue communicating via email until we feel is time to take the next step, talking on the phone. It may sound stupid, but it’s not to me.

I just want to get it right even if at least once. I don’t think I’m asking that much from the universe, am I?

I’m talking to some attendees when I started getting hungry. I love sushi and I’m considering eating some before heading home.

I see this guy sitting at a table by himself eating a plate, which looked pretty tempting to me from where I’m standing. I decided to go over to where he is.

“Hi, what’s that roll you’re eating?” I asked him. He tells me, but I could barely hear him with all the noise.

He asked me if I would like to sit down and join him. I accepted. We started talking and introduced ourselves. He tells me his name is Brian.

I took a closer look at him. “OMG! You probably know that you look exactly like…”
“Actor Woody Harrelson. Yeah, I get that all the time,” he said.

How about that? I’ve never met anybody that resembled a movie star.

“So, Brian, what is your area of expertise related to Marketing?”
“I’m not. I’m a firefighter.”
(Record scratching sound)
“You’re not here for the event?” I asked surprised.
“No, I’m off today and decided to come eat something.”

‘Oh. A firefighter. Interesting,’ I thought to myself. I don’t recall ever meeting or knowing someone in this career. I ordered some sushi for myself and we continued talking.

He disclosed that he’s divorced with kids. He’s also American from the same Hispanic descent as my ‘x,’ which made me really nervous.

The thing is, after the break-up I had made a vow with myself that I would never get involved with someone with the same background.

He then continued to ask me the usual personal questions, which I answered straight to the point. ‘I’m newly single.’ ‘No, I don’t have any children.’ ‘I was married for 14 years.’ This night I didn’t feel the need to expand on these topics.

He also touched the subject about my age. Like that of children, this is something that at times I simply don’t want to discuss either.

“If you were married all those years, I’m guessing you must be around 40,” Brian says.
“Something like that,” I concluded.

While I’m still eating, Madelyn sends me a text message, asking me how the event was going. I responded with, ‘I’m here with a Latino firefighter,’ to which she answered, ‘Good for you! Enjoy it, ok?’

I finished my meal and we decided to continue talking outside the restaurant. The noise level was way too loud to handle any conversation.

I take a deep breath. ‘This guy is so cute!’ I thought to myself (and so have the rest of the other ones I’ve met. Hint: I’m desperate). Can I just get my act together here and obviously not show that I’m excited of being with him?

et cetera