The New M.E. Generation











After I hung up my phone call with Mark, I remained seated for a while with my head resting on the back frame of the sofa. Some tears were still coming down from my eyes.

I knew that Mark, one way or the other, would get me to confront the real issue at play, which was ‘I don’t want to get hurt.’

This was the real deal. It had nothing to do with giving myself a chance, or finding that other person I was back in college, or that I offered my sofa to sleep, and whatever else had me all mixed up.

Yes, this is what it boiled down to and I’m running away from it so doesn’t happen again.

So what’s next? All I thought was to have another serious talk with Jay, expose him to this situation and, depending on his response, make the final decision about his trip.

Since I was still too emotional, I decided to place the call the next day after getting a good night sleep and my thoughts in order. After going through the usual ‘hello’s’ and ‘how are you?,’ we picked up the trip topic.

After reviewing it one more time, and me expressing my anxiety for the millionth time, I finally popped the question to Jay: ‘How do I know that you’re not going to hurt me?’

“Emma, I promise, I promise, I won’t hurt you.”

Jay said other things afterwards, which I don’t recall. I do remember closing my eyes and finally exhaling in relief. It was as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I opened my eyes and felt no more anxiety. Everything now just looked clear to me.

“All right Jay, you can come and visit me.”

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