The New M.E. Generation











The thought that I kissed Johann in the cab stuck on my head like a bad headache.

It literally did; I tried so hard to bring back the memory, my head starting hurting.

I’m still on denial don’t know why, because it was totally harmless. Even if it hadn’t happened, it wouldn’t have affected the friendship that evolved between us.

Maybe I reacted on impulse. Or, I probably realized that I wouldn’t get to have any contact with him again, so I went for it. Reality was nobody around me was going to know, so the ‘secret’ would be safe.

The other item that I’ve been asking myself is: have I met him in a later time of my life, would have I done the same?

I don’t see why not, but more cautious of not getting too emotionally involved, knowing nothing else was to happen beyond it.

How about if Johann and I have met each other and there was the possibility of being together?

That would have meant leaving the US to a place far away, to an existence completely new to me. I think he would have been a great husband and my life would have been fine.

So, would have I done it? Would have I hopped on the ship and sailed into a new world?

Let the adventure begin.

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I don’t remember what I said to my mom regarding the ship’s visit, but she agreed to take me on Saturday afternoon after completing our house chores.

That was the routine every weekend, cleaning the house, and I was anxious to get it done. I think I even had time to take a quick nap afterwards.

What I do remember is that I dressed up nicely with long white pants, a striped shirt and blue shoes. I don’t know what I was thinking because I could have worn something more casual.

But growing up wearing a school uniform all your years of schooling made you wanting to wear nice clothes whenever you had the opportunity.

My mom and I got to the location and my heart rushed as soon as I saw the ship. It was all white and traditionally designed like those you would see in the movies. But seeing it in real life was an experience I’ve never had before.

I stood with my mom before the ramp connecting the dock and ship. There were two guys on each side of it, who greeted us before walking up. They were surely happy to see me (guess you guys don’t get to see too many chicks?).

When I finally stepped on the ship and took a good look at it, I felt transported to another place and perhaps time. For a few seconds, I simply forgot where I was.

I don’t remember how things happened next, but I asked one of the guys where Johann was. He turned around and called to him out loud, with a tone of ‘somebody’s here looking for you, you lucky guy’.

I was so embarrassed as I was still trying to keep this situation unknown to my mom. But before I could react any further, almost coming out of thin air, Johann appeared.

He stood in front of me, I turned around to look for my mom and, to my surprise, she walked away, laughing.

I got what I wanted, getting to the ship, finding Johann and my mom allowing me to talk to him.

Now, what do I do?

I looked at him again and all I could do was say ‘hi’ and smile.

“Hey, you made it! I’m so glad you did!” said he. He probably thought he would never see me again.

Looking back I now realize what an accomplishment that was. I made a decision on doing something and went for it, but thinking it would probably fail somewhere in the attempt.

I took a risk and something greater than me made it all happen. Call it courage, the universe, or perhaps divine intervention.

What’s important is that I was there.

“Yes, I surely did. I made it.”



A few weeks later I received a surprising text message from Jeffrey: ‘How are you? What are you doing?’

Whoa! Where did this come from? Is he back? If he is, why is he looking for me? I took my chance in calling him and, lucky me, he answered the call.

“So, you’re back?” asked I in a tone of voice pretending nothing had happened.

“Yeah, I’m on the road taking care of business. Did you move?”

“Actually, I did while you were away. Are you close by? Can you make it over here?”

Lucky me, again, he did make it to my new place. When I greeted him at the entrance of my building, he was still looking as good as I remembered. He seemed to have rested somewhat. He also had a face of not entirely being happy to be back in town, a.k.a., back to reality.

He sat in my sofa and I on a chair. I did not bring the question of the reason for his break-up text and now him contacting me again.

“So…how was it? I asked.

“Great! Saw my friends, spent time with my family. I was saddened when I had to leave.”

“And…were you nice or naughty over there?”

Jeff opened his eyes wide, looked down and grinned a smile of ‘gotcha.’” “Yes, I was naughty with two ex-girlfriends of mine.

‘Lucky them,’ I thought. Why can’t I? Yes, I will admit, I felt sort of jealous. What did you expect?

I rolled my eyes up and smiled as well with a look of not being surprised at all. I mean, of course it was bound to happen. He is on an unhappy relationship, he manages to get away from it for a few weeks, and finds former flings willing to provide what he’s lacking. It’s obvious you’re going to for it! Hmm, doesn’t this sound familiar?

“So, what are you going to do now?” asked I. He gave the usual ‘don’t want to talk about it’ look. “It’s not only about your relationship. I meant your life in general.”

“I don’t know. Been thinking of moving back home permanently on my own.”

“Oh? What will you do with your business?”

“Not sure about that either. The only thing I truly know is that if I became single again, I’ll stay like that for a good long time.”

Jeffrey and I kept chatting for a while. And when he left, we said good-bye to each other as we always did before: no agreements or discussion wherever we would talk or see each other again or anything.

We would always say ‘see you later’ or ‘nice seeing you’ as if there would be a next time.

But that no one knew. We have taken each encounter as it came, without thinking about in the present or for the future.

I closed the door and kept on with my life, like nothing had ever happened.



et cetera