The New M.E. Generation











I stayed with Madeline and family for about a week. The weather continued to be bad with cold days and plenty of rain.

The place they were staying was an apartment/hotel, and Madeline and I shared one bedroom together. Because of the forecast, we wouldn’t do much at times, so I would retrieve to the room and watch TV.

My bed was next to the window, so I would also look out at the people walking by. I called my friend as much as I could. According to him, the worst had passed and some more days were needed for his mother to spend at the hospital before returning home.

He sounded calm as usual, but I knew he was tired and stressed out. I felt sorry for him, as he had always been there for me and now all I could do was support him over the phone.

Before New Year’s arrived, Madeline and I went shopping and had dinner together. While chatting, she mentioned that life and work were fine, but I could feel that it wasn’t exactly that.

I wasn’t all happy with my life either, but was taking every effort to make the best of it. I even envied her back then; she had a good job, was living in a nice neighborhood, had achieved all her goals and was close to her family.

Still, there was something missing in her life that I couldn’t figure out. It’s kind of weird to say now that in some strange way I was in a better place than her.

When New Year’s Eve came, it rained most of the day and night. There was a party area that Madeline and I walked to, but the air was humid and muggy. When the clock was about to strike 12 am, we went back to the apartment and celebrated with everyone there.

I even took upon myself of doing the tradition of walking the perimeter of the apartment with a suitcase in your hand, symbolizing for this year to bring many and safe travels for you.

As much as I was trying to enjoy myself, I kept thinking about my friend. It struck me then that of all he and I had shared together this celebration was not on our list.

And when the countdown began I did what I’ve always done since being single, stare at the TV and start crying, as if I was hoping that the magic that is transmitted through this device would somehow come into my universe.

Once it’s over, I hug and thank everyone for sharing this moment with me. They all hug me back and told me there’s no need to feel this way, as it will all be fine. I always use the excuse that it had been a difficult year, etc., but glad I made it through.

Reality is I cry because when the night is over, I’m standing there more alone than ever, without a guy to hold hands and be with.

I cry because as much as I wish for things to be different, they have not turned out the way I hoped for, in spite of all efforts and intentions. They just seem to go in a direction I wasn’t expecting or wanted to.

It’s like the suitcase I was holding. You may fill it up with hopes and dreams, but the path to happiness will always be heavy, no matter how light you think you may be walking.

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It was still early in the morning the day after St. Valentine’s and had no plans or guy to spend it with.

So what’s a girl to do? Go shopping, of course!

Hey, it’s the most wonderful time to do that, considering there’s bargains for merchandise left over from the holidays. So I decided to go to a store close to me that I’ve been to before, which was advertising great markdowns.
I went straight to the back part where all the clearance items were. I liked what I was finding and listening to.

The in-store background music was all American as the store’s image is. The tunes sang about having good times, how much love a person had for their significant other; all with messages intended to make your shopping as pleasant as possible.

Heck, I was even singing the songs in my head. I got into such a really good mood, that not even the crowd at the store bothered me.

Next step was the dressing room. There was a line, but I didn’t have to wait that long, which was great.

I got inside one and was so immersed in trying out my clothes, that I became unaware of all other noise around me. That is, until something very strange happened.

A song with a Latin beat started playing. It got my attention because my mind was already tuned to songs in English, so it took me a few seconds to adjust to listening the lyrics in Spanish. What was even weirder was that of all times I’ve been to this store, I’ve never heard any songs in Spanish before.

I know I live in a very populated Hispanic community, but I know as a fact that many businesses hire the services of companies that provide background music. This means that the songs have been pre-selected, so you have no control of what is to be streamed.

As I continued listening to the song I realized I’ve heard this one before: <em>“Your love is yesterday’s newspaper that no one else cares to read about. I loved you, but now I don’t. You’re now part of my memory album.”

WTF?? Was this the universe talking straight at me? This is not exactly a love song, but more of a guy telling his significant other that he loved her at one time, but because she was ungrateful to him, he’s moving on and doesn’t want her in his life no more.

Ouch! That’s a big statement. It was pretty much what I lived with the beach guy, but in reverse, and it resonated heavily with me. It was almost as if this relationship had just been played out loud.

Then the song ended and the American ones continued. I was so baffled that I had to sit down in the dressing room to analyze what had just happened. I was still wearing the stuff I had picked out to try on.

Why did this happen, especially when I was alone, inside the dressing room? Maybe the universe altered the music in some way to let me know that yes, I did the right thing the night before.

Maybe if I had been on the store floor I would have missed the song. I needed to be there between those 4 walls to really get the message of what had happened then and now.

I stood up and looked at myself on the mirror. It was as if I was staring at another person; I felt different but in a good way.

That girl from the past was also yesterday’s news and just as the lyrics said, I just don’t want you any more.



et cetera