The New M.E. Generation

So no matter how we do it, our cars meeting on the way to work is still not happening.

Even if we both leave at the same time from our homes, the initial paths to get to the main road are different. That’s why the chances of ‘bumping into each other’ are zero to none.

If he’s on time, I’m delayed, and vice versa. One time I text him, ‘we need to get a drone’.

Since a mention about meeting in person hasn’t occurred yet, I thought maybe the unsuccessful chases would make that happen without me having to say it. Like I said before, if he’s interested, let it be him that does the effort.

Me: “I mean, how else are we going to manage seeing each other in the morning?” (referring to the aircraft).

Him: “Well, we need to see each other somewhere else, since this traffic thing is too hit-or-miss. Mostly miss, lol.”

Me: “Yeah, like FaceTime” (which I call the ‘half and half’; part visual, part phone call in not exactly the real world).

Him: “I was thinking maybe meet for coffee, lunch, or happy hour.”

Me: “Thought the same, except I didn’t want to come across as pushy.”

Him: “Not at all, I like and respect women who take the lead.”

Wow, how about that? I don’t recall any guy saying this about females per se.

Me: “Most guys are not like that from experience. Being said that, I would like to get together with you in person. Don’t know how your schedule is or what would be fine with you to do.”

By the time I sent this text we had both gotten to work, so I left it as that for that day.

The following one, the morning usual.

Him: “Morning! At the train station light lol.”

Me: “I’m way back in it.”

Him: “Did you get out?”

Me: “No. Now second in line.”

Him: “Shoot. Well, I do have to stop for gas. Going to station past 40th.”

Me: “Maybe I’ll see you.”

Him: “Hope so!”

This time I took my commute into high gear, passing all cars and advancing as much as I could. At least him being ahead of me and making a stop was providing a small window of opportunity.

The location is almost immediately after an intersection. A few seconds after the light turned green, I see the ‘Led Zep1’ entering the station right, then making a left turn to position it in an empty spot.

I quickly stopped my car next to the second entrance when I see his vehicle facing towards me. I waved ‘hi’ to him. I almost got into the station, but I knew I would be late for work if I did, and had cars behind me honking to move, so I kept going.

Me: “I saw you!”

Him: “Yes! Saw you too lol!”

Me: “Yay!” I took a selfie of me smiling. It was a ‘close, but no cigar’ moment, but good enough for me.

Him: “Too brief. You should have stopped for gas too.”

Me: “Thought that, but my boss is very insisting of people getting to work on time. We should meet this weekend.”

A few emoticons later and after getting to his office, he said, “yes, we should. What’s your schedule this weekend? And it’s too bad for your boss.”

Me: “My schedule is open. You? My boss called upon me twice recently and just don’t want to hear it again. And my colleague is out this week sick, so… Just let me know.”

About two days later I had dinner with one of my BFF’s. I shared with her the story about how I met him and my almost run-in encounter at the gas station.

She did appreciate me doing something ‘out of the box’, but she’s never short of dispensing ‘wake-up’ advice, even when nothing has yet happened.

“You had no business stopping at the gas station,” said she seriously while I looked at her puzzled. I thought she would have told me the other way around.

“You don’t know anything about this guy. How sure are you that he’s single?” continued she. I felt like a child does when a parent is preaching you about the facts of life.

“You can pull this off when you’re in your 20’s. But one has to be careful at our age,” continued she. “I’m not saying not to pursue guys. Just keep your distance for now and let him be the one that makes the move.”

Okay, now what? I’m feeling somewhat deflated. Like I should have kept quiet.

At least LedZep1 said to meet during the weekend. Well, easier texted than done. Guess I’ll put my car on neutral for the time being and wait until it’s time to shift gears again.








{January 9, 2017}   The Swipe 16 – Sink or swim

The Saturday that I was supposed to go on Bob’s boat finally arrived. After all the times he has been on my side of the world, it was time for me to go to his. Besides, I also wanted to see what it looked like, as it is another important detail to consider when being with someone in any capacity.

He was kind enough to come my way for me to follow him home. I’m glad it happened that way because it was far from where I live and, knowing how I am, I would have most probably gotten lost. And I’m not a happy camper when that happens.

I also wondered how traffic is like during the weekdays, and how he deals with driving to work back and forth all the time. I was surprised the commute hasn’t taken a toll on him.

He lives in a controlled-access neighborhood and his house was the first one you found upon entering the property. The residence is also right next to the pool area.

Bob gave me a tour of his home; the garage was all decked out with two motorcycles all nicely covered and taken care of. (And, no, I didn’t say anything like, ‘can we go for a ride?’, nor did he ask me if I would like to.)

Inside his residence there’s the typical you would find: 3 bedrooms, kitchen, baths, backyard, etc. There wasn’t anything at first glance that raised a red flag with me.

The walkthrough was done rather quickly, as we still had to go buy some food and beverages, get the boat, and then head to the marina.

While at the supermarket he asked me what I felt like eating, to which I said that ‘pretty much anything he went for would be fine with me.’ I know he wanted to please me, but I was raised in that you ate what was served to you, whether at home or not. And I know you don’t want to get complicated while on a boat either.

We settled for one of those value meals so in case there were leftovers, you could still take advantage of them at home later on.

We then went to get his boat at a trailer park not far from his house, which I found to be super convenient. Because he drives a truck, he’s able to tow his boat with ease.

I stayed inside the vehicle while he connected the trailer to the truck. He had told me he does this by himself all the time, but I kept looking back from my seat in case he needed my help. I thought that making myself useful was the least I could do to thank him for his invitation.

We then went to the marina where we had to make a line to put the boat on the water. Once the process started, I made myself useful again by helping him secure it with the ropes on the dock while he parked the car, putting things inside, and later pushing the boat off the dock when ready to go.

Before taking me to a channel he usually goes to, he took me around offshore. It had been a long time since I last saw reefs, the change of colors in the water, making it feel all new to me.

Upon arriving to our destination, I once again got into action by offering my help on anything he might need. The location was shallow and full of boats. It honestly looked like a trailer park or neighborhood on any given day.

As the day progressed, we hanged out on the water and had lunch. Every so often Bob would ask me if I was having fun. I gave him the honest answer, like I did before, that ‘it has been so long since I was last on a boat, that it felt like it has never happened.’ And that, yes, I was enjoying the day.

Honestly, I was. There was no reason for me to feel discontent, as he had done all he could to make this moment enjoyable.

What was circling in my mind was that if these invitations to go boating continue in the future, would I be able to have as much fun as he does?

Maybe not, but good enough for me to want to do it again. I mean, he is the one who is doing all the work to get to the water. And I was analyzing the boating situation as a new one, not based on my past experience.

I won’t deny memories of the other boat crossed my mind of how much I got to dislike it and the one behind the wheel for being so intertwined. I literally went with the flow on anything with both, to the point that Sunny Days were no more for me.

On the other hand, why am I getting so ahead of myself? I should know already how it all goes. It has happened to me before that guys have dropped off the radar without no explanation one day to the next. So why not in this case?

Let’s face it: the fact that we live in separate counties is good enough reason, for whatever is happening between us, to go straight to the bottom of the ocean and end.

His house is here. His boat is here. His children and grandkids live here. His whole life is here.

I may be renting, don’t have kids or any other attachment that holds me where I am (except my job), but I’ve created my own life the same way as he has.

If one of the two had to make the drastic change to make this work would had to be me because I’m the less complicated one, which looks very far away in the horizon.

So what am I supposed to do now?

How about jumping ship and swimming to shore while I still can?



A couple of weeks went by (I think) before we contacted each other again. I don’t know who did first and for what reason.

I have usually remembered the sequence of events related to previous dates. But, this time, there are just empty blanks on my mind.

If my memory serves me well, I would bet I text this guy the next day thanking him once again for the previous evening.

Overall, the date wasn’t extraordinary or bad, but good enough to apply my manners. I believe his are not the same as mine, but hopefully they will communicate how I would like to be treated.

I believe I text him on a Saturday just inquiring how he and his studies were doing. He replied that he had a friend in town that he was to take out with other friends. I told him that I was glad to hear and for him to enjoy the night.

The next time he resurfaced, he offered to come home and cook. When I read the text, I got surprised and anxious. I think it has been no more than 2 times that a guy has come over and done that in all these past years.

Even though I’m used to my space and doing all by myself, I know my social life should improve and doesn’t hurt someone else doing something for me once in a while. But allowing others in my home is like opening a door to my mind and emotions. And people taking control of the situation, including using my kitchen utensils, is something hard for me to let go off as silly as it may sound.

Also, I am a simple person. I don’t need expensive things to be comfortable. I own what I think I need, take care of it until it’s time to part of them, and like my surroundings to be clean and organized.

Because I consider myself a minimalist, I think once you step in and look around my residence you can define who I am as a person rather quickly. Of course, it all relies in what the other person’s frame of mind is, but hopefully their analysis of me should be a general positive one.

This guy proposed to bring all the food and cook. I only had to supply the drinks and kitchen. I don’t know who will be doing the cleaning afterwards, but the arrangement sounded fair.

The whole thing was to be happening that night, so I hurried to put my whole place together (as I always do, visitors or not) and go out to buy the drinks.

Then off to choose the clothes that completed the ‘look’ of the day.

Question is: will the universe serve me justice tonight?

“I promise I won’t bite,” said he while I kept considering his offer and sporting a poker face. Hell, this is not the first time I’ve heard this and won’t be the last.

I was torn as to what to do. I thought that if I declined, I would get upset later for not giving myself the opportunity of exposing myself to situations even though I’ve had them before.

Then, if I do decide to give it the go ahead and the results are bad, question is, which of the two will I regret the most? Even if I decide to go, that doesn’t guarantee that the outcome will be good.

“Fine, wine it is,” replied I.

I followed him in my car and his apartment wasn’t that far. I parked outside the building as instructed. It was one of those locations in the area I remember seeing going up every time I drove to work.

My insecurities sort of started to get activated. It’s not bad where I currently live, but it is an older structure and not as fancy as this one.

The apartment itself was not that big, but nice. It had 2 rooms, kitchen, living area, and balcony. He had a male roommate and the place was definitely a college/bachelor pad. At least it was a place that was mainly clean and organized, good enough to feel confident of safely drinking some wine from a glass he had.

I sat down on the sofa, which had in front a massive TV. It was a little bit intimidating looking at it. Not even growing up at home was there ever one this size and forget about those in college; the rooms could only accommodate so much. People had to basically sit very close to be able to view the screen.

Even if I presently had the money to buy one, I wouldn’t. I don’t see the value of owning something like this and prefer investing the money in something else that has more of a long-term value.

It also made me think, how does this guy (or maybe his roommate) get the money to buy it? I started feeling out of place and thinking this guy and I were really in 2 different worlds that were becoming more distant by the minute.

What the heck was I expecting? Sorry, I’m not in college any more and I’m not winning this battle of the sexes any time soon.

“Hey, you want to sit in the balcony?” asked he.

Good idea, perhaps a neutral zone is the next best move.

Among the many other discoveries that Johann and I had during our emails, I learned that, when I was married, he and I were in locations separated by a 4-hour drive.

Unfortunately, this was the time before mobiles and social media, so knowing about each other’s existence would have never happened.

I was already living in the US and he was stationed briefly in an area known as ‘Mile Marker 0’.

Question is: Had we known about this, would had there been an attempt to meet?

I’m sure that would have crossed our minds, but the circumstances wouldn’t have allowed it.

For starters, accessing his location is not easy. Not even meeting halfway or looking for an alternative to do so would have worked.

Then there was the fact we were tied to another person. Mine always resented my male friends, even if they had been part of my life way before the marriage occurred, even if they were just that, best friends, because he felt threatened.
My ‘x’ eventually asked me indirectly to part ways with them, so seeing Johann would have caused an even greater resentment from my ‘x’ towards me.

If I had made it to where Johann was, it would have been an awkward situation, as word of my presence would have surely reached his wife.

The conclusion is that it didn’t happen because it was best not to, so the universe took care of it. It would have been heartbreaking for both not seeing each other.

But, it did intervene when it was meant to be. I am now free to mingle with whatever guy I want and even got all my friends back because they were the ones who really loved me.

And Johann never forgot about me (me neither) and found a new way to reconnect with me that fits everyone.

We may be again separated at a long distance, but we’re close again and that’s good enough for me.

Sometime in the afternoon I get another text message.

‘I’m in town. Wanted to say hello to the most beautiful girl in town.’

‘Who is this Jesse?’

‘YeAh’ (Yeah or ‘yehaa’. Oh no, I have a feeling he’s going to say he wants to see me.

‘How long are you in town for?’

‘Leaving later today unfortunately.’ (Now it’s my turn: yehaa!)

(Hold your horses) ‘After I see you’ texted he.

Instead of getting a bombed dropped on me, I felt instead that I got lassoed. So, how do I take the bull by the horns or, better yet, untangle from this situation?

‘Not at home right now. What time is your flight?’

‘I drove.’ (this sounds so spring break.) ‘I can leave whenever.’

I felt the bull was headed straight at me. ‘I will call you later; not at home.’

‘I would really like to see you.’

No, not again. I mean, I was really not at home and was not going to stop what I was doing to accommodate him, and then he decides to show up at the wee hours of the morning? Forget that!

This is what I’ll do. Later on in the day I will text him back, when he has already left. (I would imagine he would leave at a descent time before dark.) Then he will say he’s already gone, and I will be ‘saved’ instead of turning him down again. (Good enough.)

Besides, even if I had all the time in the world, I don’t think it’s worth the effort to see him. It’s done, over with. He needs to go back home and continue his life.

Hopefully he won’t call, especially while driving, and at a time that’s not 3am.

Oh, it’s hurting, and it’s not my head. I sort of had a hangover, but it was more the embarrassment of my trips to the bathroom that was making me ‘sick.’

I was sitting in bed with my head on my hands thinking how much of a fool I made of myself last night. This guy probably feels the same.

I know I shouldn’t care about what he thinks of me, but for sure last night was going to be the first item of discussion with my friend.

So, what to do now? For starters, I could call him to thank him again and sometime in the conversation apologize for my ‘motion sickness’ without making such a big issue about it.

But my voice wasn’t the best it should be, so I opted for a text message, which read in the lines of, ‘Hey, thanks again for last night. Sorry I got a little bit sick. TTUL.’ I think it was good enough.

About an hour or so later he responded ‘not to worry about it.’ He also mentioned he was going to be at a bar with a few guy friends in case I wanted to join them.

More drinks? I don’t think so! But, meeting up with him when he’s with other guys it’s not a bad idea. It’s not that things are easier when there’s other people around, but because I get to meet more guys. Who knows? Maybe I’ll hook up with one of them and ditch this one.

I text him back that, yes, I would love to go, and to give me the location and time he would be there. I then waited and waited for an answer, which never came.

This is weird, or, is it? Maybe his impression of me is not great. If it is, why did he tell me to get together?

Whatever. This is probably going nowhere so the sooner it completely ends, the better.

et cetera