The New M.E. Generation











{December 26, 2016}   The Swipe 14 – Not unusual

“Hi, nice meeting you finally,” said I to Bob while shaking his hand and kissing him on the cheek. I sat down with him on the reception area of the bar/restaurant to wait to get a table.

“You look nice,” said he to me. “Thanks, you too,” replied I. I was glad he complemented my attire. What he was wearing may have been simple (dark trousers and a white long sleeve shirt), but it suited him well.

Something that did get more of my attention was that he was wearing a long gold necklace that he kept inside his shirt. I did my best to keep my vision on him, and not down this shirt. But I have to admit I was curious to see what was at the end of it, don’t know why.

I mean, I’m personally not against men wearing necklaces, tattoos, piercing, or earrings. But if it is with somebody I’m involved with somehow, then they will bother me, and my attitude for them hasn’t changed with time.

From all those I only wear earrings, which is socially and culturally accepted for women. But I only have the traditional one hole per ear. If I was to wear anything else on my ears, it would be something that wouldn’t require more piercing.

Where did my distaste for the above mentioned started is a total mystery. After all, I like things that are related to creativity and expressing yourself (like fashion). Unfortunately these don’t sit well with me.

I agree that you have to see beyond what’s outside a person, but even if a guy is the best one in the world, I know it will become an issue with me in the long run.

Bob and I kept talking for a few minutes and then were seated in the bar area at one of those tall tables. The ambience, decor, and people was nice. Bob was more impressed as I was with the location.

“I’m glad you like this place,” said I. “I hate recommending places to people and then turn out to be disappointing.”

After each got a drink and continued with the conversation, Bob says to me, “I have a couple friend of mine who lives in the area.”

Oh, oh. It’s time for me to reveal my secret.

“I have a confession to make,” said I to Bob while looking at him with a revealing smile on my face. He looks at me as if I was about to say something that would change the course of humanity.

“That couple you’re talking about, I know who they are. They’ve been my good friends for years,” said I. “But they don’t know I was to meet with you tonight.”

Bob was really surprised at what I said, and even more when I told him the reason behind me swiping right when I saw his profile on the dating app.

He told me how he met my girlfriend’s husband at work, that he had been at their home for dinner on several occasions, and other things I already knew about my friends.

The night went along very well, a lot more than I expected, even as far as getting selfies of us together. We even ended up late in the evening eating Cuban food at a famous restaurant that he hadn’t been to before.

The night even got an additional twist when another colleague of Bob showed up at the restaurant with a woman, and they got seated right next to us.

Before Bob said hello to him, he mentioned to me that the guy moonlighted during the weekends as an impersonator of a 60’s Welsh singer. The guy is so into what he does, that his mobile ringtone is that of one of the artist’s songs.

Even more, the guy doesn’t silence his phone when it rings, so the song comes up full blast for the whole office to hear. Then all the guys start shouting, “shhh, turn it off!!”

When Bob finally greeted his colleague, the guy introduced the woman he was with as ‘his wife to be’. Bob then introduced me to them, also saying ‘my wife to be’.

I quickly turned and looked at Bob with total surprise (as in WTF??), and reacted without thinking by hitting him softly on his shoulder, with a look on my face of ‘get out of here’.

I don’t know why Bob made the comment, but if he wanted to impress both his colleague and me (maybe show off), he surely achieved that.

The third twist of the night was that Bob’s colleague said we should go see him perform the next night at some club I’ve never heard before. I thought to myself, “hell no!” Bob didn’t say anything about it, so I guess he felt the same way as me.

I think the night ended around 3 a.m. I was in his car and he drove me all the way back to the mall’s empty parking lot, and followed me home just before hitting the expressway for him to go home.

I can’t recall what was specifically said before getting into my car, but I’m sure I thanked and hugged him for the nice time we had.

The part about saying that ‘we should speak again’ was probably added to the mix. I mean, it’s a given that this would be said.

If you’re wondering how I would describe this first date with Bob, I could say that it was fun and different. Fun because I went to two places that I enjoyed being at. Different because Bob treated me well and he stood apart from other guys I’ve met.

And, yes, I think it would be worthwhile to meet with him again. And, no, it doesn’t translate that we will do the club thing.

If I need to be entertained by an artist, it would be with the real one. But in this case, the ringtone will work just fine.

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The next morning I rushed to work as usual, so it didn’t give me much time to speak to my friend, which was great to avoid last night’s situation. It was a long weekend and celebrating my birthday, so that’s what I wanted to concentrate on.

Work finished early around 4pm and I rushed home, as we were having dinner with a couple friends of mine whose wife is also a graduate of our school.

My then friend helped me choose my clothes, something he had done before. I didn’t feel intimidated or upset about his opinion after all these years, something that with other guys I’ve not been that easy with.

We met my friends at the restaurant and it was nice to be out with a guy and another couple, which hasn’t happened in a long time.

As we were having drinks at the table, my friend grabbed my hand and held it with both his on the table. “Are you okay babe?” asked he. I reacted surprised, as I wasn’t expecting it. I replied with a ‘yes, I’m fine’, with a face that I was happy with all that was happening. I let him hold my hand until food was served.

After dinner, the couple invited us to their place for additional wine. They also have a pet parrot; I then remembered that my friend’s mom had one that lived cageless and was infamous for what it would do or say.

When I asked him about it, he said it has passed away about 6 years ago. I also remembered about 2 small dogs that had vegetable names like ‘yucca’ and ‘onion’ because of their hair color.

He explained that when his mom decided to move was able to place them with other families. What I didn’t remember was that there were many other pets in the backyard, including turtles, which I don’t recall ever seeing. It sounded to me like a zoo and baffling that my memory had failed me on this one.

At one point when my friend was away from all us, the wife said to me, “OMG, you can totally tell he only has eyes for you by the way he looks at you. He’s totally into you.”

I was caught off guard again with her comment. Her husband and her have been good friends all these years and their opinion was important to me. I didn’t agree with them always, but knew that what they said to me they did because they cared.

The question about the possibility of being in a relationship with me came to mind again. But I replied to my friend something to the extent that I didn’t like his constant moving and that bitch ex of his was still present in his life. She looked at me as in ‘take advantage of the here and now’.

My then friend was claiming he was really over the bitch and had taken her out of his social media profile. He even said that ‘he wasn’t going to hide anything,’ meaning being quiet about posting photos or comments, including one image of us in a friendly hug. He was now ‘a free man’, able to do whatever he wanted and wasn’t going to care what other people thought or said, including his so-called ex.

I was enjoying the moment and was looking forward to much more the next few days. That was the ‘now’ that I was feeling, besides that voice in my head that kept circling like a major warning that something bad would happen.

Little did I imagine that the actions and photos of that day, and the following ones, would have so much impact in my life, even today, and he would be the one to blame.

Let’s say that I never pictured the after events that came from him. If there’s a ‘poster child’ for lies and betrayal, his image would be front and center. Smile, you’ve been framed!



The rude woman didn’t waste time showing up. I don’t even think it was nighttime when I met her with the roommate. And was I about to get a whiplash.

She was way older than him (like old enough to be his mom) and not that pretty. He wasn’t handsome either. His physical demeanor was one of ‘I don’t give a crap if you don’t like what I do’.

When he opened the room door I got a ‘rude awakening’. There was a nasty smell coming from it and barely any furniture. There was a mattress with no frame on the floor and the sheets were undone. Plus, the whole space looked like it hadn’t been cleaned in ages.

I couldn’t understand many things. For starters, how could you live in an apartment with someone who’s character was the total opposite of you, like in cleanliness and organization? Someone you have nothing in common with except sharing the same college major?

I’ve heard of ‘opposite poles attract’, but this made no sense. My roommates and I have had opposites that distinguished each person individually, but there were at least some denominators that could join us.

Second, what is this relationship, especially with the age difference? I didn’t know what a cougar was at the time, but I didn’t sense anything lovable between these two.

Although I wasn’t romantically involved with my friend, there was still a true love and respect for one another. It was hard for me to comprehend that these two were together for other reasons beyond affection.

In other words, do you have to go to such extremes to get what you want or need? What is it that people your own age are not giving you?

Then it got me thinking, what were the real motives behind the past relationship with my ex-boyfriend? Analyzing it now, yes, there was a true intention from him. But I was seeing someone else when I met him and this guy went after me in such a way I eventually fell for him.

Why? Because I was getting the emotional attention (way too much of it) that I so much needed at the time.

But as with everything, time is not always on your side. As I grew and felt I matured way beyond his years, I felt I needed other things from life that he could no longer provide. That’s why I eventually ended up with someone else who did give me what I needed.

So going back to these two, why are they here? What were they getting from each other?

And what about this guy and me? I know we’re good friends, but is it all he feels only reserved for friends? Do I feel the same? Did I make this trip just for me?

As far as I remembered, yes, my feelings for him were those reserved for great friends. And, yes, I’m here for me, but treating him the way he treats me, and most of all, I guarantee you I won’t leave any leftover messes behind.



et cetera