The New M.E. Generation











About 2 weeks later, I came across LZ1 again while en route to work. I was surprised how fast it happened from the last one.

I was driving in the center lane, as usual. He quickly appeared to my right and, for a few seconds, we were almost side by side before he speeded up to change lanes, looking for open road to drive faster.

He didn’t notice me because I was in my new car, a dark blue 4-door different from the previous gray 2-door, which made me stand out in a whole other way in all the years I had the other one. Plus I was wearing my hair in a ponytail, which made me less recognizable at first sight.

Me: “Morning”. My car chase began, but he really stepped on it that day, so much it made it hard for me to catch up with him.

Incredibly, I managed to get right behind him when he switched to my lane and the car behind his moved aside.

I hit another red light. I couldn’t see if he was looking around for me like the day of the ‘I’m a ghost’ episode.

I even went as far as taking many photos of the back of his car and making gestures to see if he noticed the presence of someone behind him.

A few more lights later, he then moved to the left, and I was able to get right next to him.

He was completely oblivious to his surroundings, pretty much like everyone else. I had to wave my hand a little more than needed to wake him up from his limbo.

When he finally sees me, he waves back enthusiastically, with a face of surprise like those of ‘hey, how are you?!’. I then changed my hand gesture to one of ‘I’ll be seeing you’ and kept going.

Him (about 5 minutes later): “I see. New car. Nice one. Morning.”

Me: “Time changes everything. Was behind you for long.” I then forwarded a photo of the back of his car with the infamous “Led Zep1” plate.

Him: “I see that now. Had no idea.

Me (with a quote from the movie Ferris Bueller’s Day Off): “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

Him: “Yep.”

Me: “Well, it was nice seeing you again.”

Him: “Same here.”

Me: “Still dealing with your grand problem?”

(Recap: when he sent me the text that he couldn’t see me any more, he made a mention about a big problem he has regarding work that hasn’t been resolved, plus another one that has come up which made matters worse. So much, according to him, that they would make it very difficult for him to be with me.

He also said, ‘don’t want to talk about it’, so I will never know if such situation is true, or just a mere story he came up with to look legit and let go of me without looking like an ass. I’ll settle for the second.)

Him: “Somewhat, but things have settled down quite a bit.”

Me: “Good.”

I waited for him to continue the conversation as he has done before (as in maybe him opening up somewhat about what is really happening in his life), or just say any random thing. But no; that was it.

By this time I was already at work, so I knew that the best thing to do was just end the chat in a ‘good note’ and keep on with my day.

So the question is, once more, what will I do if I come across him again, if that? Not sure. All I know is that everything has a start and finish (like a car race).

This happens because we either take action on it, or the universe does it for us when it decides that now is the time for that.

If it understands that there’s still something pending, being today or in the next millennium, it will make us ‘race’ for it and ‘cross the finish line’ until it gets resolved.

Start your engines!

 

 

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The days went by and no sign of Ivan. To be honest, I was caught up with finishing the work year and looking forward to the vacation days that I forgot about him. It had been hectic at work and really needed some ‘me’ time. I just wanted to enjoy the holidays and end the year in a good note.

It wasn’t until New Year’s Eve that he resurfaced just as he said he would.

“Hey, I’m back in town and my sibling is visiting. What are you doing tonight?” text he.

I was surprised he actually contacted me, but even more that he invited me to celebrate this day with a family member.

“I actually have plans for tonight. But would love to meet up with you and your sibling some other time, perhaps tomorrow?” answered I.

He didn’t reply to my text. I was getting ready for the night, but also nervous that perhaps I was missing on an opportunity to see him, so I text him again.

“Maybe we could meet later after midnight?” text I.

Why not? I am the one complaining that nothing happens with guys and that my social life needs to improve. So then let’s do something really out of the norm for me. These moments happen rarely and this day only once a year.

No reply. Guess he was expecting another answer? Now what? Switch to ‘desperate mode’ and call him.

But, he went back to his old self: no answer. I left a voice message summarizing what I wrote, that would love to get together with him and other person, either tonight, tomorrow or whenever convenient for him, and to please call me back.

Of course, that didn’t happen. I got somewhat upset, but quickly put it aside. This end of the year, I wasn’t allowing any guy to make me feel guilty about anything.

It has really been many difficult years, but slowly and surely, I’ve grown personally and spiritually to levels it has taken me plenty of effort to achieve. And I just wanted the next year to be better than before.

That I’ve hadn’t had a guy next to me at midnight ever since being single? True, but I know it won’t be forever.

Some people have come and gone and I have lived through the best and worst. May still not have a clue about the future and how I will get there.

But I am here still and at peace with myself, and tonight this is all that matters to me.



et cetera