The New M.E. Generation











I left to my New Year’s party invitation and completely forgot about Ivan on my way to it.

The place I’ve spent this night has been pretty much the same these past few years. Even better, the usual people go there, so we all know each other and I don’t feel out of place in spite of going alone.

It was a great night. I danced, partied plenty, ate great food and even enjoyed being around other people’s kids.

I also made sure and got something to wear just for the night. I went to a secret location that I know and scored a dress from an Asian designer with a quirky pattern that had golden accents on it.

I was glad that I found what I had envisioned on my mind: different, with a metallic color and even more, at a great price.

Yep, metallics are very popular during the holidays, but for me it represented trying to end the year and start the next one with a new glow.

Some of the people complemented my dress and I was glad they did. Thinking back at my other ensembles, I realized how they have evolved as a reflection of my times and emotions.

I will say that this year’s dress is the most fashionable so far. I’ve even changed my hairstyle which I got even more complements for.

If you looked at it you will see that the shape is simple, but the colors are bright (purple, red, blue) in structured lines all over the fabric.

It correlates with my current state of mind that I like things bright as they relate to light or positive things. Metallics reflect sunshine and capture the glow of stars. It all goes back to light, enlightenment, opening your space within yourself to let it shine in new things.

Although the background of the fabrics is black, the intensity of the color was perfect to make the others stand out. So in a way it means that my darker times are moving back and new shades are stepping in.

When midnight arrived I cried as I always do, but less intense as other years. People hugged me and I thanked everyone, including the house dog, for this night which they made it special.

The family even lighted some lanterns, which flew away in the sky. It gave me a feeling that I finally let go of the negative and that the light was showing the universe that, ‘I’m still here, watch me soar’.

I left the party when everyone started leaving and still no sign of Ivan, so I went home and relaxed before going to bed.

It was still dark, but the night had been perfect. I looked at the stars from my window and instead of making a wish I closed my eyes and said to myself, ‘Thank you, thank you, thank you’, and thought nothing else.

I opened my eyes. It’s a new year of new beginnings.

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I opened my closet door and asked myself what I was so nervous about. I’m at home in my own domain, meaning I should take hold of what happens this night.

I decided to go for a simple dress and be comfortable. Also something not too dressy in case I needed to assist with the cooking.

This guy arrived on time with bags of food and a recipe he downloaded. As in true college fashion, he came with jeans and a shirt.

Before he got down to business, I gave him a quick tour of my place. When he saw my living room TV, he made a comment of how small it was for him and that he would never be able to live with it.

I felt like replying, ‘likewise with your big ass TV’. I feel mine is a reflection of my simplicity and he of a big ego or perhaps insecurities he needs to divert off from others.

When he saw the one in my room, which was inherited from my past life and is a cross between the traditional models with a flat screen before the full transition occurred, he said, ‘whoa, this is a really old TV!’.

Hmm, the one who’s feeling old now is me.

“No, it’s not that old. Beside, I like it. I can play movies and the colors are still good,” said I.

Why am I explaining my TV situation to him? And why is it such a big deal? It’s a household item that once it breaks down, I can get a new one anywhere for a great price.

I admit it’s my primary source of entertainment and connection to the outside world, but I don’t treat it as my life depended on it.

I am trying not to get upset by his remarks, but it’s starting to, especially because I’m at my own house, so I shifted my attention to the cooking.

He was to prepare breaded chicken with pasta. He wanted to follow the recipe exactly and from what I could read, it seemed pretty healthy.

I let him take over the kitchen to do his thing, all I did was stand close by and provide him with what he needed.

I stood at the kitchen doorway and tried my best not to be anxious about someone new invading my space and in control of something as simple as making dinner.

But it was inevitable for me to be micro-managing everything, like washing all items used so they wouldn’t pile up in the sink, putting things away, and cleaning the counter.

I was somewhat tired when all was prepared and we sat down at the table to eat.

It has been quite some years sitting face to face at a table having dinner at home. I then remembered how I much I enjoyed doing that in college. It’s a memory that was almost forgotten.

It was a feeling like watching an old episode of a show that you used to love. Question is: will this night and situation ‘get cancelled’ after it’s over or will it be worthy of a ‘re-run’?



et cetera