The New M.E. Generation











As the weeks progressed, I’ve kept in contact with this guy on and off. Our texting keeps being small-talk content, and he usually sends me a selfie with it.

Hate to admit I still think about him (which makes me be upset towards myself) and wonder why, since I already know things will never happen between us (because of the reasons stated previously), especially with the federal court case that’s pending to be presented next year.

For some reason I have to figure out yet, there’s a tiny part of me that’s still holding on, which makes me say stupid things, such as the following below. On any given Sunday, when he asks me if I was relaxing, I said:

Me: “Relax? Me? Nooo. Cleaning, cooking. Need to be doing things.”

He sends a selfie from his car with a serious/thoughtful face.

Me: “You look upset. A penny for your thoughts?”

Him: “Oh. Not upset at all. Going to see my kids.”

Me: “Ok. BTW, if you ever change your mind, my invitation is still open. Later.”

Him: “Invitation? For? To?”

Me: “You can come my way and visit me. You don’t have to wait to do so for work.”

Him: “Ohhh. Can you tame me for an entire weekend?”

Me: “I think I can.”

The texting ended there for the day. Wondered if he’s thinking about it.

A few days later on Thursday, I send him a TBT image of me like twenty-something years ago.

Him: “So pretty” (I reply with a smiling emoji). “So what are you up to?”

Me: “Thinking of you.”

Him: “Sweet” (he then sends me his selfie).

Me: “At home? Guess you’re thinking of me too.”

Him: “Very often.”

Me: “Awww” (romantic sound effect, please).

The next day:

Him: “Happy Friday.”

Me: “You too!” (smiley emoji). “Wish you were here.”

Him: “I can’t go anywhere right now with all my kids around.”

Me: “What if I come to you? My BFF says she has a GF your way that she wants to go visit and suggested both going together by car.”

Him: “Well, at present, if you recall, I am seeing someone.”

Me: “I knew you would say no. Gave it a try anyway. One can only hope.”

Him: “At this stage it probably wouldn’t be a great idea, although I would love to see you. I’m just being honest.”

Me: “I know you are. No worries.”

I may be hanging on to false expectations, but I think this situation of him with the blonde will not last.

It’s not that I’m wishing for it in a bad way because I’m jealous or something. But after learning about this guy’s recent relationships history, one can only conclude that this will be the result. It’s one of those feelings you have that can’t shake off.

Of course, I could be wrong. Wouldn’t be surprised if these two ended together in the long run. I learned way back that with this guy, anything is possible.

Except with me. In other words: anything is not always possible with this guy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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“I think your friend will be fine,” said I. “It’s good that you care about him. What he needs, and pretty much everyone who serves, is our support. My opinion is that they give way too much for this country, but we don’t pay them back the way they deserve.

And in regards to them coming back ‘changed’, I’ve pretty much met every type of guy on the book. They all have some sort of lingering issue, so dealing with one from the military shouldn’t be that much different. I’ll give it a try if the situation presents itself.”

“It takes a lot of courage to do that,” said he.

“You can’t give up on the hope of finding a partner. What I’ve learned throughout the years is that you’ve got to look at people for what they really are from the beginning. We tend to judge them based on our reality and when they don’t turn out as expected, we reject them.

That’s the problem with us women. We’re expecting to hit it right from the start and then we’re breaking our heads questioning ourselves where did we go wrong, when we should have looked at what was standing in front of us and accept their way of being for what it is.

You can pretty much figure out someone quickly and determine of they’re worth any of your time and energy. If your gut feeling tells you no, it means it’s time to move on.

The secret is to know when to apply your intelligence and emotions accordingly in your favor.”

“So what do you think about me so far tonight?”

“I think you’ve been very transparent.”

“So nothing to be concerned about just yet?”

“No, nothing that raises a red flag. You’re also still young. You haven’t gone through some experience like I have that make you change your outlook on life. I’ve pretty much seen everything already. Nothing surprises me any more.”

“Well, I hope I don’t disappoint you,” said he.

I kept looking at him and everything seemed to start falling into place. At least he was trying to be polite.

“Hey, you want to eat something? How about a pizza? They have some on the menu.”

“Sounds good to me. Love pizza.”

He seemed glad to see that I had tastes like those of a guy. I may be older than him and may have changed on some things, but I’ll never give up on a good plate of food. Top that with remembering my college days, even a better taste to go for.



It had been a long and enjoyable weekend and still had the second city to get to for the day.

My friend got out of the water, rinsed off, changed clothes and else, while I sat on the car waiting for him when I checked my phone. It was around 3pm.

And, there it was, a missed call from an unidentified caller. Looking at the number, I took a guess it could be no one else but ‘the beach guy’.

I called back, got his voicemail, and left a message.

Great, now this is going to be like the ‘back and forth’ emails that we send to each other at random times.

I had mixed feelings when I heard his voice. On one end I was glad that, after all these years, we would finally get to speak to each other. On the other, I was having a gut feeling life was to repeat itself.

My friend got inside the car and, when I was about to start it, the phone rang again and it was he. The moment of truth had arrived and I was nervous.

We exchanged the usual greetings and small talk before getting down to business.

“I’m 2 hours away from you,” said he. “I could drive down today and stay at a hotel to sleep.”

“The thing is I’m headed to another place now with my friend to have dinner there and then drive all the way back, so I don’t know what time I’ll be back. You should have called me ahead of time. Can you make it tomorrow?” asked I.

“No, I have a lot to do tomorrow, starting with my kids. It’s difficult for me to plan ahead. Also, is that guy your boyfriend?”

I knew this question would come up. “No, he’s not my boyfriend!” said I in an upsetting tone. “I’ve known him since I was 13 and graduated from our school as well.” (Dude, if I invited you to come see me it’s because I have an interest in you.)

I thought to myself, why am I giving this extensive explanation to him? Worst of all, I should have stepped outside my car and taken the call away from my friend. The way I responded to the question was totally wrong.

The conversation got into more of ‘who should done what and when’, or who was responsible for this failed attempt to see each other.

So, I agreed with ‘the beach guy’ that I would call him when I was traveling back from my dinner.

I took the wheel again and tried to concentrate on my driving, but my friend knew I was upset. I didn’t want to talk about it because I was sure his opinion about the other guy just got more negative.

At a certain point I did vent out because I was frustrated yet again at my bad luck with men.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have told him about meeting. I feel like a fool for getting my hopes too high like you said,” said I.

“Better now than later,” answered he.

“I know, but nothing happened. I don’t know what to make of it.”

“Don’t think about it. Enjoy your vacation.”

Yes, I should. I’ll figure it out (or not) after my trip ends.



et cetera