The New M.E. Generation











The memories I have of this vacation start at getting to the apartment. It was clean and organized, with a living room, kitchen and half bath on the first floor, second floor had the 2 bedrooms and 1 full bath.

His room faced the front of the building and had what one needed when being in college: a bed, desk and TV. I believe he hand a nightstand and the closet had good space.

I took my suitcase to his room and set it on the floor. To keep the space organized, I decided to leave my things inside of it and take them out when needed. I think he provided me with some hangers and made space in the closet in case I wanted to use it.

Next memory that I have was that he had to go to school. I stayed behind and was taking a rest when the home phone rang. I rushed to answer it thinking it was he.

“Hello,” said I. There was a pause from the caller.

“Is (roommate name) there?” said the female voice with an unpleasant tone.

“No, may I take a message?”

“And who are you?” asked her.

“Me? I’m just visiting.” (Click.) What the hell? I looked at the phone puzzled, but put it down. The phone rang again just a few minutes later. This time I answered with a serious voice.

The same scenario repeated, except being asked who I was and I left out the message part. Second hung up of the day. I wasn’t happy, but didn’t let it affect me and went back to my nap.

That’s how I was then. I was so naive I didn’t see it that when the caller heard my voice, she wasn’t content at all that I was there. For me, it had to do with her being totally rude and disturbing my beauty sleep.

In spite of already being away from home and exposed to a new environment, I still believed and trusted those people that were part of my life. What had occurred gave me no worries. I was confident nothing bad was to happen to me. I was there to have fun and nothing else mattered.

When my friend got back and I told him about it, he started laughing. It had been a while since I saw him like this and it was refreshing.

“That’s someone my roommate is seeing,” said he.

“Oh, his girlfriend.”

“Not exactly. There’s more than one. Well, that’s what he’s told me.”

“Whoever it is, she hung up on me twice.”

“Of course, the person was expecting a male voice. Besides, she obviously thought you’re with him.”

“Why? There’s also you here.”

“Yes, but she’s clearly insecure about herself and him. She’s now in a panic mode.”

“That’s stupid jumping into conclusions when she doesn’t even know me.”

“I think it’s incredible how he’s seeing many at once and haven’t been caught yet. You being here might change the chain of events.”

I was looking at him with a somewhat concerning look. I just got here and the wave hit me before getting to the beach. Universe, give me a break, not this one, please.

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I turned my chair to face the wall, so no one could see my tears flowing down my eyes. It was one of those moments when not even waterproof make-up could conceal the emotions that were pouring out.

It started getting so bad, I grabbed my shawl and wrapped it all the way to my nose. More than for warmth, the item became my mask and handkerchief.

“This year has been so difficult,” said I. “I’m still with no guy. Every one that I meet isn’t worth anything. This month would have been my 20-year anniversary.

I know the grass is never greener on the other side. But there are times when I just feel that my life sucks and won’t change for the better.

I’m grateful that I have many blessings. But I’m not asking for much. I’m a good person and don’t understand why I’m still single.

All I want is to settle down, have a family, and live a tranquil existence. Why can’t I just get that?”

“You will find someone,” said he. “You have to be patient.”

“How many times you’ve told me that and still nothing? At least you’re always with someone, for better or for worse.”

“That doesn’t mean I’m happy. And, no, right now I’m not with someone. I want to take a break.”

“You always say that too. When I turn around you’re back in being in a relationship.”

“I know; I’m a disaster. But I really want to be alone for a while. When Thanksgiving comes, I’m getting a bottle of champagne and drink it all alone at my place. Not interested in going to any parties or anything.”

“You don’t have to be so extreme. You can celebrate the holiday very low key with people that really care about you.”

“I’m not in the mood to be with anyone. How about you?”

“I’ll be with family. I mean, it’s good, but won’t help much that I’m so sad, angry, frustrated at so many things. I need an extraordinary experience to happen to me that will give me a new perspective and change everything that I am.”

“Things will get better for you.”

“When? I’m tired of waiting. I want it to happen already.”

Ivan and I talked for a few more minutes. It was a brief conversation as usual, but it was the first one that after talking to him I felt some relief.

After hanging up, I turned to face the computer again and luckily nobody saw or heard me while talking.

I quickly ran out into the bathroom to hide and chill out for a few minutes.

I could barely look at myself on the mirror. But turns out using the shawl as handkerchief saved some of my make-up, so I was able to fix it good enough that people wouldn’t notice my tears.

Once back at my desk, I realized I didn’t thank Ivan for listening, or that to remember he had (sort of) promised to meet me one day for drinks.

So, call him again? I’ll drink to that.



The communication kept coming, but basically it remained via email, which started to bother me. I made a few attempts to call him, but it would go to voicemail and then he wouldn’t return my call.

It was that situation again where I felt I was making all the efforts to make anything happen. One early Saturday morning, though, there was a breakthrough. I was still sleeping when he called.

“You’re still in bed? I’ve been up since 8am. I gave breakfast to my kids, dropped them off at their mom’s, jogged for a while, and now I’m headed to the beach for a while. Have something pending to do with my daughter this afternoon.”

I haven’t said much myself and felt I was wasting my morning (and life) all together. “Sounds like an interesting day.” (Is this all I can really say?)

We kept doing the ‘small talk’ and, out of nowhere, I decided to give an explanation of what I felt about him way back then. I don’t know why I did it. I’ll blame it on being half awake or half asleep.

“I think my attraction to you was more that I wished I had what you had. The closeness to your family and intelligence were things I envied. By being with you I hoped those things would become part of my life.”

I had no recollection of how he responded or know if he actually internalized what I expressed. Our conversation had to end abruptly when he received a call from the hospital he works at.

I felt stupid after hanging up. What’s wrong with me? Why do I have to explain myself to him? Sounds like I wanted forgiveness for something I never did.

After all, he was the one who didn’t pay much attention to me at school, continued any contact with me after he graduated, or even after we saw each other years later. And now he’s pretty much behaving in the same way.

I’m giving this situation way too much thought when his actions are giving me the answers.

I was having my coffee when he sent me a photo. He took a selfie from inside his car in which he posed with a wacky face. The message read, ‘my dog took it.’ Guess this is his version of the sense of humor I was wondering about or didn’t knew existed.

The texts continued. ‘Saw this giant stingray while paddling.’ ‘Beautiful day.’ Now this is the beach guy I used to know.

I sort of felt happy for the conversation because I finally got it off my chest. But I didn’t get his side of the whole matter, so this is not yet concluded.

Question is: will that opportunity ever happen?



et cetera