The New M.E. Generation











“I’m glad you remember me being cheerful when I was trying to get your attention because I sort of had a crush on you,” wrote I. “My memory is that you basically ignored me.”

“Let’s get one thing straight; you did have a crush on me, and I actually looked forward to seeing you around school,” replied he.

How embarrassing, I was that obvious!

“All right, all right, I admit it; I had a crush on you,” said I. Strange, though, how different we both remember things. For me it was more seeing you sitting at your desk studying.”

“Yes, I was focused on my work and still am with that.”

Yes you were. Sometimes I sat next to you to talk to you but your attention was in your books.

“At least one of us got their lives figured out. Yours is what I wish for.”

“Well, things always look greener on the other side and I wouldn’t have my life any other way from what it is. But you shouldn’t feel bad about yours. Keep up the faith; you never know when things turn around for you. You have to believe on that,” replied he.

Believe in it? What do I actually believe on?



After meeting him on the beach and eventually developing a crush on him, I would always look forward to seeing him in school somehow like in between classes switching rooms, at recess or at a distance during daytime school events.

At the beach he was sociable with me, but at school he was very much into his studies as he was focusing entering college the following year. He was a very good student with high grades, interested on medicine, law or engineering for a career. For me he was one of those people who already knew what they wanted out of life and how to get to it.

Me, I was an average student in spite of my efforts to improve my grades and had no clue what I wanted to do with my life, which made me dislike myself very much. I kept wondering why I couldn’t be like him.

Still, I would look for a way to cross paths with him without much success as I felt he was pretty much ignoring me. After a while I took a hard look at myself and decided I wouldn’t pursue him and more into leaving things to chance whenever they happened, if that.

And it did. One night my mom and I were visiting her friend from the beach at her apartment building. The kids from her other guests and me were hanging out in the parking lot when I see him pull up in a Fiat convertible. (I think I first saw it when he drove it to school one day.)

I stared at him from a distance and debated whether to go over to say hello to him or not. After all, chances were he would ignore me and I would regret it. Or, I would let him drive away and regret not having the courage to approach him. I gave it a try.

“Hey, how are you?” said I.

“Hey, nice to see you. What you’re up to?”

“My mom is with some girlfriends upstairs. We’re all hanging out here. What you’re up to?”

“I have to take my mom somewhere.”

“Well, good, nice seeing you. I should be around this coming Sunday.”

As I was walking away, he asked, “What are you doing later?”

(What?? Did I hear right??) “Aah, I’m going home when my mom is done here.”

“OK, I’ll call you later,” said he.

“Sounds good.” (Yeah, like, you’re actually going to do that.)

I went back to hanging out with the other kids and watched as he later drove away.

I wished it was I driving in that car, but I gave myself credit for what I did.

Hey, that was a big step for me back then. Kudos to me!



This guy and I did not email each other for a couple of days. As they progressed, I realized that as equally as he did, my old feelings for him started to resurface again as well.

I don’t remember the last time I felt this way. It could only equal when one falls in love for the first time. You don’t know exactly how it happened, it just did. It was one of those moments that you get a very pure and sincere feeling.

Then I got an email from him telling me he had a chance to speak to me the following day, so we set-up a time to do so.

The whole day at work I kept watching the clock and wishing for the hours to go by so I could get home. When he finally called I felt I was getting called the first time by a guy I had a crush with like in those early adolescent years. Yes, it was like feeling young again.

The conversation was brief and only wished we could have talked for more time.

A few more calls later I realized there was chemistry between us we couldn’t deny. Whatever we felt before was back and very much alive.

I felt I was walking on air, that there was someone in the distance that cared and loved me for exactly who I was; someone who would give anything to be with me if he could.

Yes, if he could, because, unfortunately, he is not free to do so. The circumstances of our present lives don’t allow us that.

I just wonder now, what was the circumstances back then that did not allow for us to stay together?



et cetera