The New M.E. Generation











Just when I thought I had it all figured out with the beach guy, even of going as far as accepting his friend request once again on social media, he comes back to prove me wrong.

Case in point: I was checking my feed on a Sunday afternoon, when I come across a notification that such person had changed its profile picture.

It was a selfie he took using one hand while looking at the phone, while the other is placed in a woman’s forehead, specifically the one with the ultra-bleached hair I made a mention before. Their heads are touching together. She’s smiling and her eyes are closed. The caption reads: “Your head hurts?”

I was disappointed, but more calm than normally would, because I finally find out the real reason why he doesn’t want me going there. So him being entirely single is not as true as he said he was.

As I’m seeing it, he was keeping me ‘on the side’ because of the distance. I was a like a second option in case this chick, or anyone else there, didn’t work out. That’s why he kept the conversation and ‘pretty’ comments going so he wouldn’t lose me.

Perhaps he wanted to ‘go bi-coastal’ and be with 2 people at once. Like the saying goes: “The left hand doesn’t know what the right hand is doing.” Think about it. He could have pulled that off had it played it well. But him posting the photo was his downfall.

Me: “So who’s the blonde in your profile picture?”

Him: “Ah, she’s a girl that I just started hanging out with. Likely will turn into a GF. I’ve known her for a long time. And we hung out before.” (This is how one of those ‘gotcha’ moments look like when the person can’t get their story straight. And don’t try to downgrade the situation. You knew her before; said it yourself. She’s been floating in your gravity for a while.)

“She’s a lot of fun.” (Oouu! Did you notice the detail in this sentence? He said ‘fun’. That’s the exact thing the Cuban lady warned me about men during the cards reading [see ‘The Reading’ chapters under The Ex-Friend story]. She basically said guys don’t want any commitments with you, but for anything else, including going out and have good times, they’re in.

Analyzing this further, if this is the only positive thing he can say about her, “Run, Forrest, Run”.)

Me: “That’s why you don’t want me visiting you.”

Him: “Well that’s not the reason, although if she and I are exclusive, I’m sure she wouldn’t like that.”

Me: “And me saying I wanted to see you.”

Him: “OMG. You and I go back a long time. But you live so far, which makes a relationship hard. And I will never lie to you.”

Me: “Sounds like you did.”

Him: “Seriously?”

Me: “I asked you before if you were seeing anyone. How do you think I felt when I saw your photo? Whatever, I made a fool of myself.”

Him: “I wasn’t. You didn’t make a fool of yourself.”

Yes, I did that because, once again, I put my emotions out in the open, and thought maybe there was a possibility of something happening between us.

Reality is, he was clear in his position and I interpreted it differently. That’s what happens when we allow the past to influence us into thinking one can rewrite history and get the romantic ending you were hoping for.

Me (about 2 days later): “The fact that you reappeared after some years left me restless. From my part I always felt there was something that remained unfinished between us. But now I know it’s not. Regardless the reasons you have for us not seeing each other only shows there’s not enough interest. I’m not upset. I have learned things don’t always result like one wants. We may have a long history, but I’m the one who needs to move on and close chapter with you, which you always did.”

In other words, hadn’t I pursued him again, none of this would have happened.

Incredibly, he didn’t reply back. I also unfriended him. Copy that. Talking about ‘being on delay’ as he once said.

I sent another text sometime later to complete answering his last remarks.

Me: “I made a fool of myself because I thought you had some feelings for me. And forget the distance excuse. If you were interested in me, you would go the extra mile to make it happen. That’s how it goes.”

Still waiting.

 

 

 

 

 

 



{September 21, 2015}   The Ex-Friend 2 – Not seeing it

This guy started talking about a girl he had a relationship with, that they had broken up, but somehow he ended up in her apartment, had sex with her because she managed to get that from him, and when he left the place, was so upset with himself, that he hit the hood of his car so hard it created a dent.

The woman was sitting at the balcony laughing, but not at the car, but at him for getting what she wanted.

The way he referred to the laugh was one of sarcasm, almost as if she was getting even or didn’t care anything about him.

I was listening to him quietly and still in shock, not because of this story, but for this mystery woman.

In all the years we have been friends, I only knew of one during high school. I had seen him with her once in her school. He introduced me to her; I don’t recall if they were holding hands or not, but the way they walked clearly showed they had something together.

The other time I remember her was at a career day at her school. She was alone, but we talked to each other briefly and she never asked me anything about my relationship with this guy.

Looking back I don’t know why I didn’t question him. We both had significant others, but he said that he had feelings for me.

How did this didn’t raise a red flag with me? Was as I too naive, trusted him blindly, or perhaps I was too much into myself that I simply didn’t get it?

And then during and post college years, he didn’t mention any love interests either from his side. In my mind he had never lost his feelings for me. And our conversations usually centered around me as well.

He had his issues as well, but his approach and tone of voice were one of understanding why it was or had happened, and had resolved or come to terms with it, which was the opposite of me.

We had been close friends for the longest time, sharing the good and bad, to the point that we knew the other more than we did ourselves.

So why didn’t he tell me about this, especially when it was obvious that it ended in a chaotic way?

He had always known about the guys in my life, and now with my then ex-spouse, a relationship that at that moment was stable and solid.

I kept listening to him and this guy wanted to talk at that moment. That’s how desperate he was. He was way more broken than when he told me about his grandmother. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this way.

I didn’t wanted to let him down, but I was also on my way to see my then ‘x’. It was a delicate balancing act I never had before.

What I recall after this is that we agreed to discuss it either in person or phone. I continued to my ex’s apartment and didn’t tell him about the incident.

I don’t remember if the conversation ever happened, but I’m sure I probably felt guilty for leaving my friend all sad behind.

He had always been the main man in my life, but now things had changed for me, and certainly for him.

Yep, no matter what, things never remain the same, ever. And it’s not necessarily life that does it, mostly it’s because of us, and many times in the worst of ways.

It’s like a low blow that you didn’t see it coming.



et cetera