The New M.E. Generation











After learning that he’s single, again, I started wondering how interested this guy really is about seeing me. I know his ‘last minute’ appearances will never work for me, so, can anything happen whenever he’s not complicated, if there is such a time like that?

Me: “I was thinking that you don’t have to wait for one of your work trips to come this way.”

Him: “No. I don’t. Right now I can’t leave because I have a super sick patient and have to be available for him. I haven’t had time for myself.”

(Recap: In the past, whenever I invited him, he always had an excuse, mostly that he was busy with his kids. Honestly, don’t know how he has managed to be with anyone, period.)

Me: “Just a thought.”

Him: “Good thought.” (At least he didn’t say no to it.)

A few days later, while driving home from work, I hear “Come Sail Away” on the radio. I texted him about the song and his high school Farewell Assembly later in the evening.

Me: “You were sitting in the front row. Wore like a light brown suit. You got like 4 cards. One was mine. You got surprised and later got sort of teary eyed when you read them. If I recall correctly.”

I skipped mentioning the end part of the activity when I got up on stage, shed a few tears myself, and he sort of broke into a dance while the song was being played.

Him: “That was me.” (As in ‘that’s who I was then’ or ‘that is indeed the person you’re referring to’?)

As other memories crossed my mind, the interest of me seeing him slightly grew. Problem is, according to him he’s too busy to come here, and he has never invited me to go his way.

So as I have done since always, I debated whether or not to say that I could go visit him. I know it’s been about 2 years since I last heard of him, that I shouldn’t base things on the past, and the chances of this happening are zero to none, but…

Me: “Perhaps I could go your way sometime in the future?”

Him: “Perhaps. You can drive your new car although that’s a lot of miles to put on a lease.” (So that means ‘no’?)

He forwards me a map of his location and the shortest route is basically 4 hours away. That is, if you don’t make any stops.

Me: “I’m not talking about doing it all the time. At least once.”

I do appreciate his concern about my lease. But I got the vehicle almost 3 months ago and I’m only driving it short distances, so there’s plenty of miles to go before even getting close to my yearly limit.

And using my transportation situation as the reason for me not visiting him raises a huge red flag. It makes me believe that he’s hiding something and is not as single as he claims to be. I didn’t get a good feeling about it, so I left it at that for now.

With all honesty, I wish I could make this trip, not because of him, but for myself. You see, the beach is where it all began. It’s where I met him, shared the nice moments, and even got to see him for who he really was.

I too learned about a side of myself that I didn’t know I had, which would be nice for me to rediscover. I know I can’t bring back the past, but I believe me there together will finally allow me to say what needs to be said and move on.

All I’m asking from the universe is just this one time, because “if you do it right, once is enough.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



As I continue on my online quest to meet a guy, I did the swipe thing again shortly before my trip with Dina.

This time I connected with one that caught my attention, not because of his looks, but because he worked in the same company as the husband of a girlfriend of mine.

This meant that, one, he should be as good as a person as my GF’s man and, two, I can get any information I want to know about him through my friends, hopefully eliminating all the mysteries surrounding someone you don’t know.

This person, which I will refer to as Bob, looked respectable from his photos. He’s about 5 years older than me and although he has no hair (as in bald, which I never done before of meeting someone like that), I reminded myself to keep my options open, like my bestie always says.

Because I had his first name and that of his employer, I did a search, and found his profiles. The work one had no photo of him, plus the information didn’t seem current, and his social one was very plain. It basically had no content other than the photos he posted of himself in the app.

This is what happens with social media. Either people post too much, or are so closed to the world that you wonder if they’re hiding something. Again, I will try not to jump ahead of myself.

At the same time, if you’re not one who will dedicate time in engaging with your profiles (either personal or professional), then why bother having one?

I think Bob gave me his email before my trip, but did let him know that I was traveling and would touch base with him upon my return, which I did.

He gave me his number and I made the first call on a weekday sometime after work. He picked the call about in the third ring and his voice sounded as one that matched his physical.

We were on the phone for at least an hour and we shared small talk about my trip, work, family, etc., without going to further details, but he seemed to enjoy and interested in what I had to say.

If we did get into a more serious topic, like divorce, it was discussed mildly as in ‘how many years ago it happened’ or other basics.

One thing I didn’t ask him, which probably I should have, was if he was seeing anyone else. He didn’t ask me either and, from what I heard from him, he didn’t sound like he was.

The one detail that was really disappointing was that he lives about an hour or so away from me, which is not what the app showed. I guess the software displays the location of the person of where they are at the moment when one is using the app.

My bad luck with that ‘there’s always something with the guys’ I meet happened yet again. Is this the universe giving me a heads up early on that it won’t happen with this one either? If so, why then did he had to come into my life?

After the first conversation, I called him a couple of more times until I felt that, if he was interested in continuing talking, he should be the one now making the call.

He did a few days later and said on the phone something like, ‘you have been the one calling me, so I thought it was my turn to do so now’. Ok, he seems to be interested.

We eventually spoke a few more times (I believe taking turns) and I think I was the one to ask him if we should meet, to which he accepted.

Since his work is located at a reasonable distance from where I live, I recommended meeting at a bar at a mall near my home on a Friday after work. Although I’ve never been there, the location was one of those with an open design concept that seemed the best one for meeting someone for the first time.

I will admit I was nervous, so much so that I couldn’t decide what to wear. I searched among my clothes some days before looking for something that would click. I put a few ideas aside, but ended up wearing something I decided upon last minute.

Not only did I wanted to make a good impression, I wanted something that I felt represented my personality at that moment. Call me a diva or fashion exaggerated, but my vision was realized.

I remember driving to the mall and walking with these high heels I haven’t worn for a while, so I was trying to establish a flow in the walk as graceful as I could from the parking to the bar, which was all the way to the end of the restaurants wing.

I kept my sunglasses on (trying to pull an Audrey Hepburn) and as I was about to make my entrance to the establishment, I saw how much nicer it was from the internet photos.

And then I see Bob sitting right across the entrance, staring at everyone going in, waiting for me.

What was my reaction when I first saw him? Quite frankly, I don’t remember.

I do remember managing to walk with those heels without a hitch and my dual-tone sunglasses.

Yep, as fashionistas say where I come from: “La moda aunque me joda” (Fashion or bust).

So what happens next? The greeting and sitting down. And everything else, hopefully.

And I’ll need a drink for all that. Cheers!



Another 2 days went by before I got another reply, this time around 4am and still on a work week.

I wondered again if he was getting up or going to bed and what his whereabouts were. In other words, were you at home or, most probably, somebody else’s place?

Back in my days when I was doing my undergrad and living on campus, if you returned very late to your room, it had to be that you were either at the library (that was the main excuse everyone used) studying or writing a paper, or at the computer center.

Yes, I said the computer center. That’s where people went to type their papers before personal ones became a normal thing to have. And the place was open (I believe) until midnight or beyond.

If those 2 locations weren’t it, then it meant you were probably having some sort of relationship with someone else and managed to spend the night with that person. You either convinced the other roommate to go sleep somewhere else, or that other person slept in your bed with the roommate there as well.

Doing the second was no easy task, as having roommates was difficult per se and meant losing more of the little space and privacy you already had.

Then there was the situation if anyone called you. It was one phone paid by many and the calls were usually from parents, family, or significant others living at school or not.

The calls would mostly occur after 10pm as they knew all classes were done for the day, you already had dinner, etc.

But, that was not always the case. If you took the call, you had the misfortune of telling the caller that your roommate wasn’t there and that you didn’t know where she was, either that was true or not.

It was an uncomfortable situation because you always sounded as you were lying and hiding something.

Then there was the task of having to call them back and explain yourself. After saying ‘you were studying’, things would quiet down until the same scenario happened again.

Yes, it was a time that keeping track of others was no easy task, but is it that different now? Not really, except that all devices are personal and mobile, and you have total control in how you manage them.

In a way it’s harder as no one else knows what you’re doing, that is, if you keep it quiet to yourself.

So what am I thinking right now? That he probably had some chemistry with a girl in his biology class and decided to take it beyond the books. After all, he’s young, good looking and has goals for the future. What girl wouldn’t like that?

This got me thinking; this guy got my attention not necessarily for his merits, but because it’s making me remember my time in college.

That was a special time, as I finally got a chance to be on my own and started to discover who I really was, just like when I became single again.

The negative part is the age difference, which is making me feel old, and that feeling is not good at all.

I may have reversed the effects of what I’ve gone through, but there’s no ‘time’ capsule for the other half of the equation.

You have to swallow it no matter what.



et cetera